I have got some pretty good students

[ashling]

in my government classes ... and then there are some who turn out "essays" like this:

3. Marbury v. Madison

Madison is ordered as justice of the peace, and is unhappy about his payroll. He wants President John Adams to increase his by taking away others. The President is writing a bill in order to help him out but during that time frame his Presidency ends. Jefforson the next President does not pass this bill and Madison decides to take this to court but the Supreme Court rules it out.

At least no one this semester has told me that the Constitution was divinely inspired ... yet.

[dimbear]

1. Unusual use of the historical present tense. Most would write

concerning Marbury vs. Madison:

the fight went seven rounds and ended in a TKO.

One would be curious what tense they use for future tidings.

Of course the other question would be what this student's native tongue might be.

[ashling]

6. Tense is the least of the problems

[RebelOne]

2. Hope you don't teach English grammar.

Because "I have got" is totally incorrect. Drop the "got".

[HopeHoops]

3. That's right it should be "I gots me" as in "I gots me some beer at the 7-11".

[rurallib]

4. isn't the 'at' supposed supposed to be "down to"?

I gots me some beer down to the 7-11

[HopeHoops]

5. Regional dialect.

[WinkyDink]

17. Incorrect syntax without the required phrase "and beef jerky."

[ashling]

7. As in "I have to drop this class"?

:shrug:

[elleng]

8. Oh Yea, I have GOT to drop this **** class!!!

OR, I GOT to drop . . . .

:rofl:

P.S., I GOT to go to the Supreme Court this FIRST MONDAY OF OCTOBER!!!

[ashling]

10. oops, wrong place

[struggle4progress]

9. I think the kid's got a real future as a lawyer! It's a novel reading of Marbury v. Madison, and

it obviously wasn't just copied out of some old dry textbook on constitutional law. Any old hack can say that it was a brilliant decision, establishing the precedent that the Supreme Court can misread the constitution however it wants, even by use of half-sentences, and that the decision carried the day because its nominal conclusion was consistent with the political climate and because it spawned a witty summary joke about Congress interrupting the Court's reading. But to suggest, that the underlying facts of the case have been substantially misrepresented, is new: clearly the author deserves credit for willingness "to boldly go where no man has gone before"

[ashling]

11. Thank goodness someone here finally noticed something wrong other than grammar

:hi:

I remember an essay on Missouri v. Holland from a con. law class I assisted with back in grad school. It seems that the case is all about birds that migrated across the ocean from the Netherlands ... (pulled that one straight out of the nether-regions.)

[struggle4progress]

13. Keep your damned Dutch birds off my lawn or I'll shoot them!

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

12. When my dad went to Law school he had an exam...

that he wasn't completely prepared for.

One question asked for a description of a certain court case (Don't ask which one, I'm a Hydrogeologist not a Lawyer) along with his opinion about the decision.

His answer: Some say Yes and some say No and I tend to agree with them.


I think he got partial credit (he didn't describe the case or decision).

[kiva]

14. Give it time, someone will.

My favorite was one of my students whose ID for Nat Turner said (paraphrasing without the mis-spellings): "Nat Turner killed 600,000 white slaveowners."

Oi, where to start with that one!

[ashling]

15. Singlehandedly

with a spoon!
:rofl:

[kiva]

18. Yup, I always wondered what sort

of weapon he had...

[dimbear]

16. Might explain a lot about Ike Turner. n/t