I just lost my job.

[tomreedtoon]

I had emotional difficulties with the boss; he was an angry man, and for some reason he focussed on me. This morning, after a long night of work, he called me in and told me I could either take early retirement or simply leave. I will probably take retirement.

Right now I am in shock. I had been ducking him for the longest time, and I thought he had mellowed about the minor errors he kept riding me about. But he was just gathering ammo, justifying his actions.

Well, I will continue. I'll get another job. Maybe a better one. Maybe a more fulfilling one. But right now, I realize that many of my angry posts here on DU were due to my work tension. I need a few days to recoup before hitting the streets again.

If I have offended anyone with my posts, I apologize.

[closeupready]

1. I'm sorry.

:hug: Things will get better. Everything happens for a reason. Hang in there. :hi:

[brentspeak]

2. Hang in there

[Robeysays]

3. good luck

join the club, we have t-shirts and special decoder rings.

i've been out of a job since july last year, i'm living on my bro's living room couch for 4 months.

i hope things work out for you.

[pleah]

4. Good luck to you, tomreedtoon.

:hug:

[lapfog_1]

5. good luck... I got laid off in October last year...

so far, a few interviews, no offers.

[dgibby]

6. No need to apologize. We're all in this together.

Just take care of yourself, take a little down time and relax.

Sometimes, things that we think are horrible turn out to be the best thing that could ever happen to us. Case in point. My cousin was in a car accident, hurt his shoulder, chest. Went for X-rays. They found a spot on his lung that turned out to be cancer. If not for the accident, they wouldn't have caught the cancer in time.

I suspect taking retirement now may be the best thing for you. Sounds like you were working in a really hostile, toxic environment, and the stress from that could literally kill you. Good luck.

[peace13]

7. Good thoughts and energy to you.

After dodging a bullet for so long, it has landed and you are still standing. I hope that there is something better around the corner for you. Peace, Kim

[monmouth]

8. This may be a blessing in disguise for you. Much luck....n/t

[MindPilot]

9. Take the early retirement - it can have significant advantages

Talk to your financial guy, and if you don't have a financial guy, get one. Today.

And since you were offered the choice between early retirement and "simply leaving" I suspect there may be other serious factors to consider -- like a lawsuit.

I would say it would be worth your while to buy some time with a lawyer just to see if there is anything there.

Good luck to you, and be sure to take advantage of anything that is offered--many companies include placement services for early retirement offers.

[raccoon]

31. I second that; consult a lawyer before making your decision. nt

[zazen]

10. reading some anti-bullying web sites might give perspective

It's understandable that you're upset right now, and with the larger economic situation one can get really panicked if one projects out too far. I'm so sorry this has happened to you and I hope you have a strong emotional support network.

But if your boss has anger issues and you feel like you were targeted, it might help to read some of the workplace bullying literature, just to put a name to what you've gone through and help you recognize the signs in future situations (not that it was your fault, but naming gives distance).

Research has shown that when men are bullied/targeted, it's most often when they have been out for illness and then return--women are usually targeted for different reasons. My ex was bullied by female bosses. I wish he had brought a lawsuit against them, but it's the kiss of death for one's academic career.

http://www.kickbully.com/main.html is one site--there are many others

best of luck to you

[safeinOhio]

11. I took an early retirement 7 years ago

Money has not been the problem I thought it would. You"ll find it is much cheaper and you save not going to work. I have sometimes found little part time jobs just to keep busy. Best of luck.

[aquart]

12. The best of luck to you.

[abluelady]

13. Try to Keep Yourself Busy

Sitting home worrying isn't going to help. I know, personally, the foodbanks are losing volunteers because of the corporate layoffs. You might find doing something like that very helpful, while you're job hunting. Take care of yourself.

[BonnieJW]

14. Hugs to you, Tom.

May I ask what kind of work you do?

[tomreedtoon]

19. I had been a TV engineer/director since 1976.

I put in a long time there, much of it during overnight hours. I actually liked the work of putting shows on the air, getting shows ready for air, and the like. However, I've been working third shift hours for years. (9 PM to 7 AM.)

I will find something else. I don't know if I want to go back to TV again, or if that's even possible. I will have to do some soul searching first. In a day or two I will apply for unemployment and cancel my DirecTV and start figuring out where to go from here.

Thanks for your help.

[tblue37]

35. Tom, completely OT, but do you sometimes

post letters on Salon.com? Sometimes when I read the letters on a Salon article, I will see letters signed by someone with your name. Every time that happens, I wonder whetehr it is the tomreedtoon from DU.

BTW, good luck. I hope you find cause for suing their asses off!

[tomreedtoon]

36. Why, yes, I am the same tomreedtoon.

And I decided not to take legal action. I have no real grounds to do it. A friend of mine tried to sue when she WAS suspended for an actionable wrong cause (she was taking Prozac for depression and they called her medical condition unacceptable) and she lost, and hasn't had any work for the last five years.

For me, the moment of survival will be the moment of power. The nasty boss who canned me (to replace me with a couple of cheaper part-timers) almost had a heart attack the week before he pulled the action on me. I believe the next time will be fatal for him.

And I believe that, as soon as I shake off my current shock, anger and tears, I will find a better and happier job elsewhere.

[tblue37]

38. Well, it is certain that you will be better off in a job where the boss isn' t

bullying you all the time. Best of luck to you, Tom.

[Mopar151]

15. Hang in there, 'toon

Been out since early March, and in my field, it's been nuthin' but crickets. I really liked the folks I was working for, too - and it was good, interesting work. But business "keeled right over daid".
And, brotha, I feel your pain on bad bosses. Work your early retirement out smart, make sure they cover some counseling - it helps to get readjusted from those "mirror-world" experiences to be more like regular folks. Transition or temp jobs can help with this too.

[Warpy]

16. Nothing sucks like an angry boss who is looking for a pretext

to get rid of somebody, especially an older somebody.

You just reached your living wage expiration date. You're now part of a very large club.

Take the early retirement and it'll help you eke out with a McJob if the worst happens.

I'll forgive you for angry posts when you're upset about work if you'll forgive me for angry posts when I'm in a lot of physical pain.

[Crewleader]

17. tomreetoon...take early retirement

and be free of that,better doors will open for you, just keep knocking my friend. :hug:

[shaniqua6392]

18. It could be a chance for you to start something new and fresh.

Take a deep breath and give it time to sink in a bit. Take a little time off to refresh your spirit and then get back out there. Good luck in your future endeavors!! :hi:

[Berry Cool]

20. I am very sorry about this.

If it is possible for you to get a copy, I would highly recommend this book to you: Scapegoats at Work: Taking the Bull's-Eye Off Your Back by John M. Dyckman and Joseph A. Cutler. You sound as if you have been "singled out" for elimination, and this book would, first, be a step toward repairing your no doubt battered self-esteem. Second, it might help prevent this from happening to you at a future job.

In any case, it sure doesn't sound like you are the guilty party here, and you may see yourself in this book, and advice you can use. I know I did.

Good luck.

[MichiganVote]

21. Even rejection from an asshole bites.

[ThomCat]

22. If he's telling you to simply leave then he's firing you and you can

get unemployment.

If you take retirement, does that mean you have retirement benefits?

I hope you aren't walking away with nothing when you walk out the door. :(

Either way, I hope you are able to find another job.

[tomreedtoon]

30. Yes, I'm getting retirement benefits.

It will include medical coverage (which I will partially pay for). It's not much, which is why I will have to work, but I'm going to file for unemployment as soon as I emotionally recover.

I know I'm going to be mourning for a while, but everyone has said that "when a door closes, a window opens," and that I stand a good chance of better opportunities and a happier life. I'm trying hard to believe that, and while it seems hard right now, I'm going to keep working on it.

Thanks for your message. People here at DU, and with the other groups I know, have been very supportive, and it makes all the difference in the world. Again, thanks.

[MadMaddie]

23. I know it's shocking...I was let go from a job many years ago

I was shocked at the time too. I had the same stresses from a shitty boss....and even though my firing was shocking I honestly felt better knowing I didn't have to go in the next day and see her. I realized that it wasn't such a bad thing, I was able to pursue other goals and I am actually pretty happy in my job now.



I know it's soon but look at this as removing him, the poison (your boss)from your life. Your stress level is going to decrease by simply not having to stress over dealing with him. And soon you won't have to wake up and dread going in to work.


Go pursue those things you have always wanted to do!!

:pals:

[The Doctor.]

24. "Like duck off a water's back."

Some time ago, I worked for one of the most verbally abusive men on the planet.

The thing about verbal abuse is that it's almost always administered in ignorance.

It does not reflect accurately on you at all. I used to tell my co-workers who dealt with the same abuse; 'It means nothing, like duck off a water's back.'.

For real... it's like duck off a water's back.

He wasn't a home improvement guy by any chance... was he?

[tomreedtoon]

29. No, he was a television engineer.

I found out from other people that he's lost several chief engineer jobs because of his temper. He was always hoping to go to the big corporate offices, but his behavior and treatment of people will prevent that. (I saw him yell at a visiting company rep the way he yelled at me. Only he did it in public.) Every other person in the department has faced his anger. Nobody likes him.

And if there is any karma, he will suffer for it. I mentioned to the staff people who talked about the retirement package that I felt sorry for him, and hoped he'd get some help. Which is a lot kinder than the things I have been thinking about him the last few months. Now I don't have to think about him at all. That's the best immediate benefit of this horrible moment in my life.

[Fire1]

25. When one door closes a window opens. Be relieved.

As for the boss, remember, karma's a bitch and you just might get to see it.

[roody]

26. Early retirement might be wonderful.

[CoffeeCat]

27. I had an angry boss like that...

...and I totally understand.

I know it's hard right now. Even though a boss and a job may cause us stress, there's something
comforting about the familiar--and your usual routine.

I know it's not easy, but you have a good attitude, and really--aren't you kinda glad to not have to
worry about this dark-cloud boss riding you about minor errors? You deserve better.

Give yourself some time. You will be terrific---and you will look back on this job and you'll
be grateful that you moved onto other things.

Best to you--- :)

[WhiteTara]

28. you don't know this yet

but this will be the best thing to happen to you. The universe has just given you the push and it is your turn to fly. Let the wind fill under you and lift you to the next phase of your life. Nature abhors a vacuum and until this albatross was lifted from your neck,you couldn't receive the next great thing.
P.S. Take the early retirement! Never leave money on the table is my mother's motto.

[Name removed]

32. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[pacalo]

33. Pizza time. I've just alerted the mods.

[cascadiance]

34. I just lost my job today too with layoffs!

Groan! And Oregon has the highest unemployment rate next to Michigan!

[tomreedtoon]

37. Well, I'm only a few days ahead of you...

...but this is what I learned. If you are seriously troubled, take a few days off. Get your spirit back. Read some of Louise Hay's books (like "You Can Heal Your Life") or listen to her audio books. Pray. Meditate. Then, when you're feeling better, start your job search.

[happyslug]

39. Make your application for Unemployment

Most states say you must wait a week, but that is for getting the unemployment check NOT to make the application. Also remember Unemployment Insurance law is NOT the same as employment law. Almost all states have the "at-will" doctrine, the employer can fire you at any time for any or no reason (But not an illegal reason, sex, age, disability discrimination for example).

Unemployment Insurance law is different, you are eligible for Unemployment Insurance unless you were terminated for "Good Cause". What is "Good Cause", that is up to the employer to show, but it requires the employer to show you failed to do your job do to your own actions. Please note, incompetency is NOT "Willful Misconduct", if all your employer is able to show that your could NOT do the job, that is NOT "Willful Misconduct" and therefore eligible for unemployment insurance. "Willful Misconduct" is something an employee does that is NOT in the employers best interest but is within the ability of the Employee. Examples of Willful Misconduct, is getting in a fight with another employee (i.e. NOT backing down from the fight, if the other employee attacked you without good cause, then you defending yourself is NOT willful misconduct), a Registered Nurse giving the wrong medication to a patient, but it is NOT willful misconduct if the person giving the medication is just a Nurses aide, the difference is do to the education and expectation of the Employer when the Employer hires a Registered Nurse as oppose to a Nurse's Aide.

I bring this up for it sounds like your Supervisor make your workplace a hard place for you to work, but even then you did NOT quit (Which may have been his intention). The Employer then fired you for some reason, sound like "Incompetency". The problem with "Incompetency" is that it is NOT grounds to be denied unemployment compensating. Thus incompetency makes you eligible for unemployment unless the employer can show there had some "Good Cause" to fire you, i.e. you failed to do your job do to your WILLFUL intent NOT to do what your supervisor wanted you to do. Many employers fall into this trap when they want to get rid of someone but the employer is doing the job as it is intended to be done. Errors occur in all jobs, the issue become in A Unemployment insurance claim is the error do to an inability to do the job or a WILLFUL refusal to do the job. The later is up to the Employer to show in any hearing on Unemployment Insurance.

Please note, Congress has extended unemployment compensation, it is NOT just six months at the present time, it can be over a year. Congress did this do to the economic situation, so make the application.

One last note, remember Unemployment insurance is NOT Employment law, if you believed you were fired do to sex, age (You are over 50 since you started to work in 1976), disability, Familiar Status (Do you have Children) or Religion (and in some states and cities sexual orientation, but it is NOT part of the Federal Civil Rights Act NOR the Civil Rights Acts In most States) file a complaint with your states Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. They will send you a Package and start the process. You have only 180 days to file with the EEOC so start the process As soon as Possible. Civil Rights have one of the SHortest statute of Limitations in the Country, so file the Claim, even if you do not think you have one, just to preserve your rights.

[barb162]

40. You're right, Tom. Take a few days or weeks off and relax

and then start looking. Be glad you're rid of that idiot boss. Just think, you'll never have to face that person again. Good luck!

[happyslug]

41. But apply for unemployment NOW, you can do the leg work while taking the break

Most states want you to report to the Unemployment office who you contacted to get hired AND that you went on line to look for jobs posted in the Unemployment office. All the states require is you look, AND look and report every week, even if your unemployment is initially denied. If at the hearing the Hearing office ruled you were eligible, failing to do the reporting denies you benefits for any week you did NOT report while waiting for the hearing. Just a word of Warning, report your efforts to find employment even when you are NOT getting any unemployment, until you hear from the Hearing Officer that you were denied all benefits (Which I doubt will happen, but I am warning you of this problem).

[Pithy]

42. Sending you good vibes

I used to work for a very abusive boss - total bully. He would never be even slightly satisfied with anything ANYONE did. When I finally left that job for greener pastures, it was hard to believe the amount of relief and peace I felt.

My stepdad was just forced into early retirement - he has been a minister for years and just recently had successful heart surgery. He was devastated until we began to talk about considering it as a year sabbatical. Take the retirement money and possibly the unemployment and take as much time off as you can afford to pursue hobbies and goals that you've always wanted to, but couldn't because of the J.O.B.

It truly is a blessing in disguise to be away from your former boss' toxicity - I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Better things are surely just around the corner for you!

[tomreedtoon]

43. Thank you for the considered response.

I got to you late, but I appreciate the thought. I can't really afford the sabbatical, although my bosses were more generous than I thought. (Hint: when they pressure you to quit, don't. If they lay you off they will pay you severance pay.)

What I'm hoping to do is to turn my life around while conducting a job search. I know it's desperate, and that this economy is in a hell of a mess. My former business was TV, and a day after I was let go, one of the competing stations fired TWENTY of their people and cut back on their newscasts. Since our major advertisers were car dealers, who can no longer afford big ad budgets, you understand how that is tied to things.

I've spent the last six days trying to get used to daylight hours; I worked an overnight shift for years, and it took a toll on my health. I'm going to get healthy, begin looking for work I can do outside of TV, and do my best to build a better and more rewarding life.

At any rate, thanks for the encouragement. And I wish you the best as well.

[Pithy]

44. Have you thought about general productiion?

Not sure exactly what you specialize in, but I know when I was in the ad biz many of the independent production companies that we contracted to film, engineer and produce our clients' radio and TV spots were constantly looking for reliable and experienced crew. Many ad agencies also do inhouse production, and there might be openings there, too. Although ad revenue is certainly down at the moment, there are still industries that are producing TV and radio spots.

Sounds like you are approaching the next phase of your life with a great attitude. I remember working nights as a waitress in college and it really does affect your health negatively. Am still thinking about you and crossing my fingers that something even better comes your way!

[sallylou666]

45. Club of Unrecognized Talent

Best of luck with your new adventure. I worked for a psycho boss for 6 months and it was 6 months too long. Leaving will greatly improved my mental health. Hope that you find the same.

Welcome to the club of "unrecognized talent." Here's to hoping that our talent is both discovered and compensated for soon. :toast:

[upi402]

46. Take care

I hope you keep moving, if only just to keep moving. I am under-employed and am blue a lot these days.
I fought this very situation all I could for decades. Just makes it worse, it seems.

[tomreedtoon]

47. Thanks for your concern. Central Florida is not well.

I just got back from the union hall (IBEW local 606). The man there sympathized, but had nothing to offer. There are hiring freezes everywhere. Also, as I mentioned, 20 people were dumped from other TV stations. There are more firings expected.

I don't expect to work in TV any time soon, or again, but I have transferable skills that I hope will help. And at worst I can deliver pizzas (and have enough money to fix my old car if necessary). I WEIL get through.

What troubles me is people like Mr. Cox in this DU journal:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=445934&mesg_id=445934

He's clinically depressed, without meds, and he sounds suicidal. And joblessness is only one of his problems.

I know a lot of people here are atheists or agnostics, but I believe there is a special place in Hell for the rich people who made this happened. And I think there may be a growing army of underemployed and dispossessed who will be willing to risk their lives to help send these rich people on their way.

[offoffwallstreet]

48. Early retirement

I'm so happy you have the option. I got a severance package when I lost my job six months ago and it helped me so much not to panic and take the first crappy job that came along. I hope it'll help you get by with enough resources to find a job you really want, not just whatever you can get.

[area51]

49. I'm so sorry.

:hug: I hope you'll get a new offer soon.

[folksinger]

50. It's a great day to whoop somebody's ass

Every day I hear a new story about someone getting laid off or let go. And it pisses me off every time someone fires someone because of errors they might have made on the job, especially with the amount of incompetance out there by people who still have jobs. You don't like the way a guy does his job? Retrain him. Don't screw up his life.
I have been laid off, several times as a matter of fact, and it's been going on long before this little economy blip came about,(thank you President Everybody since Reagan) and I know what it feels like, just as many out there do. Here's what I've learned.
Don't ever let anyone tell you, "It's not personal". It is personal. It's personal to you, and it's personal to the person who did the laying off or firing. My title refers to a song by a guy who had a bad day. It started off bad, and ended up with him losing his job, so he figures it can't get any worse, so he waits in the parking lot beats his former employer senseless. Well...It's just a song...I think. Although, I can't personally think of a better way to take the frustration out of a bad day. Sounds like you've got a little age discrimination thing going on there. I'm starting to see it in my life. If you have retirement coming, and can retire, I'd do it. There's better days coming. Look at it as an opportunity and take advantage of the government programs. Get things back on track. The "parking lot" will always be there. And if you get a little pissy with us once in a while...We'll understand. That's what friends are for.

[tomreedtoon]

51. I believe vengeance is pointless.

I engaged in a lot of those fantasies WHILE my boss was harassing me. But I'm not a violent kind of guy. And I recognize that more than the law's possible punishments, me becoming somebody I don't want to be would be too hideous to consider.

I've spent the last two weeks getting back on daytime hours and getting in contact with myself. I begin my job search this week in earnest. I'll be doing cold call interviews until I find a full time job that I like, that won't be in broadcasting (that industry is now in a long-delayed disaster mode).

Oh...by the way. The week before he fired me, my boss was taken to the hospital by one of the assistant bosses. No one said anything, but I believe it was a heart attack. I won't need to seek vengeance; his own anger-fueled personality will probably do it for me.

[Cary]

52. "Vengeance" is your success.

I have been fired 7 times and I am proud of that fact. Every time I was fired I landed a better job within a week or two.

Today I road the elevator up with a guy who fired me about 20 years ago. This guy is a complete asshole and if you asked anyone else who worked for him they would agree. I'm not sure whether he remembers me and I don't care. I'm sure he does though.

I see him in court on occasion and I laugh every time. Now I employ people the way he employed me, and Howard is one of my prime examples of exactly how I should not be. I am blessed with several such examples.

Now that's vengeance. :)

[Cary]

53. And as for your boss' health . . .

I had another former employer who fired me. I saw him on TV at about the time Michael Landon was dying of pancreatic cancer. They interviewed my former employer apparently because he too was dying of pancreatic cancer.

I am as sorry as I can be that this guy had to die the most horrible kind of death. I don't wish that on anyone, but if someone has to die that kind of death . . .

It's not nice of me, I know. But it is harmless. Of course I had nothing to do with this guy's pancreatic cancer and nothing I think about it is going to change anything. So I may as well have this attitude, and there's no harm in you having similar feelings about your boss' dead heart cells.