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Sorry if this was posted here before - but this is the first I heard this and I wanted to share it with DU'ers.
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Methodist Church outside Washington D.C. as part of a new public relations initiative. The day before the President's visit, Bush's chief political advisor called on the Bishop, and said, "Look, we've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like. Our supporters will gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if, during your sermon, you'd say the President is a Saint."
The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it. However, I must insist on payment beforehand. The advisor opens his briefcase, pulls out several envelopes labeled "Hurricane Relief" and counts out one hundred thousand dollars in cash.
"Tomorrow morning, I promise to say that George W.Bush is a Saint" says the Bishop with a smile.
The President shows up the next morning, front row, center. The sermon progresses and the Bishop concludes with, "George Bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever known...but compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet, George W. Bush is a Saint. Amen."
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