Dick Cheney Hunts the Ultimate Game

[SteppingRazor]

my blog report on the Cheney shooting (blog.myspace.com/dansweeney)

Dick Cheney hunts the ultimate game
Category: News and Politics

Yeah, yeah. I know it's been reported as an "accident." In fact, the AP has even had the nerve to report it as though it was the victim's fault, stating that Henry Whittington, a long-time GOP Svengali in Texas, "stepped into Cheney's line of fire." Other media were more bemused, with the Sydney Morning Herald's headline reading "Cheney Hunts Quail, Everyone Else Ducks." And syndicated columnist Roy Sekoff sticking it to Aerosmith with "Cheney's Got a Gun."

But when I heard that Cheney had shotgunned a fellow hunter in the face during a quail-hunting trip this past weekend, I saw through all the bullshit. It was obvious what happened. Whittington, in his dotage, had outlived his usefulness, and so Cheney and his shadowy cohorts had decided to give him a day's head start and then "hunt the ultimate game," as one of those on Cheney's hunting trip put it in a telephone call after being pressed on the point.

"OK, maybe not the ultimate game," he then admitted. "I mean, the guy is 80. But still -- it was pretty cool."
It was a crisp, winter day. Cheney loaded up his 28-gauge shotgun, then checked it carefully before racking it and growling in that gravelly way he has, "All right, boys. Let's do this."

He crept carefully along, two Secret Servicemen creeping even-more-carefully in his wake. Until, parting some bushes and peering into a clearing, he spied his prey. Whittington had been given a full day to run. But, being 80 years old and without food or water, he hadn't gotten far.
"Whittington!" Cheney called as he raised his shotgun to his shoulder. "Here's buckshot in your eye!"

But even Wittington was too fast for Cheney. He managed to dodge to the side, and was only wounded. Upon hearing the blast, the owner of the ranch where Cheney was supposedly hunting quail arrived and, seeing what happened, let out a cry. The cover story had been previously agreed upon. All players said the same thing. And Wittington, given a new lease on life, is sticking to the story. But give it a while. Murder will out.

[LeftNYC]

1. Did you ever see that bad movie with Ice-T and Gary Busey?

Where they hunt Ice-T for sport. Surviving the Game it was called. I could see Cheney out hunting for humans, especially minorities.

[SteppingRazor]

2. There's actually been a few movies like that...

there was one where Ray Liotta was hunted too. Among many other bad B movies with similar plots.

On edit: Also, Jumanji had that hunter guy. And I believe it was also the plot of a Gilligan's Island episode.

[LeftNYC]

3. I just remember this movie

because Busey gives this speech about wrestling a bear that had me on the floor laughing so hard I almost choked.

[thebigidea]

4. a few years ago I did a video with Cheney hunting humans

"The Most Dangeous Game" - a little tribute to Herschell Gordon Lewis movies. Good to know he's taking cues from satire.