THE NEIL LISST TIMES - mostly true news! cartoon for Wednesday

[Neil Lisst]

Well, we're ba-ack! With fresh cartoons.

These are almost all true news stories. I think you can figure out which ones we're kidding about!

[Neil Lisst]

1. They're ALL true, except the CORRECTION

[radio4progressives]

2. But the Correction is my favorite part!

:rofl:

great as usual! :hi:

[Neil Lisst]

4. hehe - yeah, we're going to make this a regular feature

We're going to run another edition Thursday, and the CORRECTION will be a part of The Neil Lisst Times every time we run it.

The other stories are all true, of course, literally taken from the headlines.

If Dems would just meet once a day in the morning to get their talking points together, and proceed! Geez, every day there's bad news for Team Bush and we need to hit it hard every day.

[EFerrari]

3. . . .

:rofl:

[Neil Lisst]

5. Nice, sf!! Thanks!

She used to wear her hair a little longer, too.

Actually, he looks better than her.

[0007]

8. Excellent! And in reality every paper in the country should have

those headlines.

[Neil Lisst]

13. Hey, 0007! Actually, most of these were covered on Fox News!

Although perhaps not in the same way.

Just a little joke I'm pulling inside the joke. My primary source was Fox News online!! Ain't that a kick in the ass?!

Last Friday's. That way, when wingnuts go apeshit over it, as some will, I can say "hey, I got it from Fox News!!"

Me and the other guy who draws this are sort of like Andy Kaufman and Bob Zamuda. Sometimes we think something is funny whether anyone else does or not. And that's enough. Everything else is a bonus.

[Neil Lisst]

6. Good morning east coast early birds!

Just a quick kick.

[Neil Lisst]

7. robust return of new stuff

is there any word the administration uses more than ROBUST?!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

9. it WAS Barbara on the Quaker Oats box

she was quoting Plato while wearing Quaker garb!

[Neil Lisst]

10. It's not her, but the Quaker on the box is on the Terror Watch List

There are almost 300,000 names on the Terror Watch List.

Let's see, that's 85,000 from DU. How many members does Kos have? Add Democrats.com and moveon.org, then throw in the Quakers and vegans, and there will be enough left over for the 300-400 who actually should be on the list.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

11. in the book named THE REPUBLIC

Plato proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that after the First-Lady takes on Quaker-like appearance we live in tyranny.

BTW, anyone who thinks they made the "watch list" should email ALL repukes they know a message that contains every "watch" word they can remember.

After all, the overall rank and file repuke approach is that freedom isn't important because they "have nothing to hide."

[Neil Lisst]

12. The funny thing is, I do know several hardcore Pubs.

I mean Pubs with the same long term pedigree in their party as I have in mine. They don't always care for my cartoons, but they've heard me bitch about Republicans in power for decades, so nothin' new there.

They've all heard me use the line about the Quaker Oats guy. I used to say the family got rich from the royalties Barb got for that Quaker Oats photo.

I used to do a great Reagan during his years, and all my Pub friends loved to see me do him. Of course, I did a great LBJ, too. Still do.

I shall not seek ... nor will I accept ...

[Neil Lisst]

14. What's that sound? Everybody look what's goin' down.

right chere

[Jeffersons Ghost]

15. There's a man with a gun over there, telling me i've got to beware

Tin soldiers and Bush is coming we're finally on our own
this summer I hear the drumming four dead in Ohio
Gotta get down to it soldiers are gunning us down
should of been done long ago
what if you knew her and found her dead on the ground
how can you run when you know?

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Gotta get down to it soldiers are gunning us down
should of been done long ago
what if you knew her and found her dead on the ground
how can you run when you know?


Tin soldiers and Bush is coming we're finally on our own
this summer I hear the drumming four dead in Ohio

four dead in Ohio (repeat and fade)

--Ohio, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

[Neil Lisst]

16. spring 1971, kent state

I was in southeast asia when that happened, and had been for a year. One of my buddies had gone to Kent State a couple of years, and when the word got to us over there, it sort of wigged everyone out. Like "what hell is goin' on back there?!" No one in the military then respected the National Guard guys. Everyone knew they weren't even "weekend warriors." They were rich and powerful men's sons, guys who had run out of deferments and would be headed to Vietnam like almost everyone else.

I think that news was a turning point for many soldiers. I remember several of us getting together and sitting around talking about it, and the overwhelming feeling was "we gotta get outta this place, if it's the last thing we ever do...."

[Jeffersons Ghost]

17. I was still in High School in '71 you old war horse! LOL

In '72 however I decided to dodge the draft by joining the Navy... They stuck my ass on a P-3 and sent me to hunt down great underwater red devils... Here's a good one (my personal favorite) from our era:

(Monster)
Once the religious, the hunted and weary
Chasing the promise of freedom and hope
Came to this country to build a new vision
Far from the reaches of kingdom and pope
Like good Christians, some would burn the witches
Later some got slaves to gather riches

But still from near and far to seek America
They came by thousands to court the wild
And she just patiently smiled and bore a child
To be their spirit and guiding light

And once the ties with the crown had been broken
Westward in saddle and wagon it went
And 'til the railroad linked ocean to ocean
Many the lives which had come to an end
While we bullied, stole and bought our a homeland
We began the slaughter of the red man

But still from near and far to seek America
They came by thousands to court the wild
And she just patiently smiled and bore a child
To be their spirit and guiding light

The blue and grey they stomped it
They kicked it just like a dog
And when the war over
They stuffed it just like a hog

And though the past has it's share of injustice
Kind was the spirit in many a way
But it's protectors and friends have been sleeping
Now it's a monster and will not obey

(Suicide)
The spirit was freedom and justice
And it's keepers seem generous and kind
It's leaders were supposed to serve the country
But now they won't pay it no mind
'Cause the people grew fat and got lazy
And now their vote is a meaningless joke
They babble about law and order
But it's all just an echo of what they've been told
Yeah, there's a monster on the loose
It's got our heads into a noose
And it just sits there watchin'

Our cities have turned into jungles
And corruption is stranglin' the land
The police force is watching the people
And the people just can't understand
We don't know how to mind our own business
'Cause the whole worlds got to be just like us
Now we are fighting a war over there
No matter who's the winner
We can't pay the cost
'Cause there's a monster on the loose
It's got our heads into a noose
And it just sits there watching

(America)
America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now
We can't fight alone against the monster

[ninkasi]

18. Thanks again, Neil

Your toons are always great.

[Neil Lisst]

19. Thanks. appreciate it.

new stuff up in under 2 hours