Imagine (Cheney Shooting LTTE)

[Bozvotros]

Here is a letter I just sent off to the local papers. What do you think?

Imagine you are under investigation for serious crimes and cover ups and you had a reputation for serial dishonesty. You go hunting at the ranch of an old friend who lobbied for a company that won billions in contracts in one of your publicly funded and tragically stupid ventures. You have had two DUI's in your past and on the day of the hunt you have “a beer" at lunch.

A few hours later you and an elderly man, head out with two attractive women (not your wives) to do some illegal hunting without a licence. At sundown, your group violates several hunting protocols and you shoot the old guy in the face and chest from close range. You can’t seem to remember whether it was 30 yards or 30 feet. The victim is rushed to the hospital. You don't follow them but go back to the ranch and make yourself a cocktail. The sheriff is called but your private guards turn him away at the ranch gate.

You sit down to a big ol' Texas-sized dinner that night and hit the sack early. The
next morning, a sheriff's deputy drops by for a friendly chat and without interviewing the victim, immediately exonerates you. You choose a female friend who was 100 yards away, who admits she didn't know who was shot, to tell the press. In her version and those of friends who weren't there, the victim is blamed and the wound described as superficial. Meanwhile your buckshot riddled victim has been moved to intensive care. You sit down to a nice hot quail lunch and then go on your only visit to the hospital to see the “dear friend” you have nearly killed.

The next day you send out a spokesman who jokes about it, gets many of the facts wrong and forgets to mention your victim has had a heart attack. You stay out of sight and schedule a softball interview a couple of days later with one of your biggest fans to explain what happened. Your boss, also under suspicion for serious criminal offenses and cover ups, announces he is satisfied and that the matter is over. Can you imagine it would be? Me neither, but since we haven’t had access to secret surveillance on anyone we wanted, we’ll have to see what happens.

Edited for "subject" clarity

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. Only one slight change

I'd say "birdshot" instead of "buckshot". They are two very different types of rounds, with buckshot being much bigger. If Whittington had been sprayed with buckshot, it is very likely he would have been dead and not wounded.

[Bozvotros]

2. Thanks.

Good point. I'll send them an amended one.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. Otherwise a great letter

with a strong and powerful argument. You painted a good word picture that even freepers will understand.