The Snark Scoreboard of Spring

[BlogBox]

It wasn't a good week for BushBots. Press Secretary Scotty McClellan proves his worth as a flea on the windshield of history, Tom DeLay is tangled up in the felonious New Hampshire phone jamming case, and if Bush had to face a presidential election this week, he would win 17 electoral votes. It's spring, and the snarks are scoring on the blogs.

Laura Bush, First Phobe

Pandagon details the sad valium queen's quick photo-op with straight-looking children at Monday's White House Easter Egg Roll and subsequent run for the door (and a nice helping of cowardy custard) before gay parents were admitted to the festivities. Pandagon also cites Americans For Truth (don't laugh) and its president, Peter LaBarbera:

The "gay" crashing of this morning's White House Easter Egg Roll is just the latest demonstration of selfishness by adult homosexual activists, who invariably put their wants above the best interest of children, Peter LaBarbera, President of Americans for Truth, said today.

"There are some bad eggs on the White House lawn today and they should be marked SSA for Selfish Sexual Agendas. Shame on these adults for exploiting an event designed solely to bring joy to young children," LaBarbera said.

My favorite comment after Pandagon's post:

Samurai Sam Apr 17th, 2006 at 2:41 pm

"What a pity that the homosexual lobby had to tarnish a great tradition with this in-your-face political maneuver," he said.

As opposed to the normally oh-so-subtle activities of the gay-bashing brigade, such as picketing soldiers' funerals with signs claming the soldiers are burning in Hell because gays are not stoned in the streets of America.

Pete would be so much happier if he'd just stop fighting it and come out. He and Ken Mehlman would make a cute couple. They could start some sort of "Ex-straight" movement for out-of-the-closet GOP operatives.

Hammer of Truth thinks Laura's title should be changed to "First Phobe" (now you can laugh!), and Judd at Think Progress is loving the war between Tucker Carlson and Bill O'Reilly over whether or not there was a war on Easter this year.

Pagan Fertility Gods and Loving Families - 1; Laura Bush and Hatemongers - 0.

The Malkinization Of Michele Malkin

Yes, the Ann Coulter-in-waiting published the names and contact info of the UC Santa Cruz students who protested against military recruiters on campus and called for her readers to Malkinize them. No, she isn't happy that bloggers (Cannonfire, TBogg, Count Istvan, and a brazillion others) have retaliated by posting Malkin's own contact info, which is easily found with a quick Google.

Poor Michelle! Those mean, nasty (liberal) bloggers are playing by her rules! How unfair!

Snarks - 1; Malkin - 0.

New York Sun Editors Are Morons

Leave it to Larry Johnson to teach the New York Sun how to read the State Department memo on Ambassador Joseph Wilson's Niger trip. Larry really does call the editors morons, and he exposes the obvious fact that Valerie Plame Wilson really was covert.

1. A paragraph is classified based on the information it contains. For example, if it is "Official" information but not classified the author could label it "FOUO" (which means, For Official Use Only) or "LOU" (Limited Official Use).

2. When a paragraph is labeled S/NF (Secret/No Forn) that means the information is SECRET and not to be shared with foreigners. The mere mention of Valerie Wilson's name required that the paragraph be classified. If she was not undercover, the paragraph could have (and should have) been classified as LOU or FOUO. The New York Sun editors are morons. They don't even understand this basic point.

Thanks, Larry!

Snarks - 1; Morons - 0.

Whose Government Is It Anyway?

The Moderate Voice takes a bite out of George W. Stupid's "I'm the decider" quote:

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

So there you have it. Yes, there are voices, front pages, ominous rumblings from some parts of the GOP itself, editorials and columnists. But in the end GWB is "the decider" and HE decides what's best.

Who needs the input of the former retired military officers - any of them?

His comment pretty well negates the argument that Rumsfeld made that it was only a small number of people who wanted him out and the rest supported him. So it really didn't MATTER how many wanted Rumsfeld out - or to stay.

Read on about Duby'a "voices and front pages." Reading beyond the headlines is obviously not fundamental in the Bush household. As for the voices, where's Barney? Quick! Somebody make sure the dog isn't the real decider!

Snarks - 1; The Decider - 0.

McClellan Is A Flea on the Windshield of History

Thus bloggeth Sidney Blumenthal at Comment Is Free (the UK Guardian's group blog). In one fail-swoop paragraph, Blumenthal calls Scotty a factotum, a "slow-flying object swatted by a frustrated and flustered press corps," "occasionally inarticulate and displaying a limited vocabulary," and much more. Blumenthal then drops the bombshell: "Karl Rove is a subject of Fitzgerald's investigation - this is the headline buried in Libby's filing."

Cue jaws dropping across the land.

Snarks - 1; Rove and McClellan - 0.

From 16 Words To 16 Days

The Belgravia Dispatch is in a "Fool Me Twice" mood concerning the "attack Iran" drumbeat and Rumsfeld's craptastic "wild speculation" screed:

Wild speculation, huh? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me! You'll forgive me given, shall we say, rather disingenuous remarks made about the chances of war in Iraq back in the day, that I take protestations that an attack on Iran are "fantasy land" or "wild speculation" with a tad more skepticism than I might have in yesteryear. Not to mention the media climate generally! The New Republic is featuring a cover illustration of a demonic Ahmadi-Nejad as gruesome apparition complete with monstrous fangs made of nuclear missiles, the Weekly Standard has turned over its current issue to something of a 'Target-Iran!' extravaganza, the National Review recently editorialized that Something Be Done, Mark Steyn is busily planning the Great Persian Campaign (no occupation, this time, mind you!), and bloggers are leaping on this story to shorten the time frame for Iran to get nukes from the National Intelligence Estimate of approximately 10 years to, don seatbelts please, some 16 days!

As The Belgravia Dispatch warns: Trust But Verify. Sorry, Belgravia. I'm clean outta trust, and so is most of America.

Eschaton (Atrios) has Bush's approval rate at 35%. In an earlier post, Atrios agreed with Josh Marshall's supposition that no one wants to work in Bush's White House anymore. Josh writes:

Finally, can they find anyone on the outside who wants in? This, remember, seems to be the problem with Treasury Secretary Snow. He has already, in essence, been fired. But they can't come up with anyone crazy enough to take the job.

But of course, reichwing spinners like Dizzy Doyle McManus are playing the Pollyanna Glad Game with the president's dismal numbers. McManus actually told NPR's Gwen Ifill that the low poll numbers were good news because "the President's popularity has bottomed out. It has stabilized." Veridictum.com has two video versions, as well as the audio file.

Snarks - 1; Dizzy Doyle and the MSM - 0.

Phone-Jamming Elephant In The White House Living Room

Thanks to the divine Betsy Devine for the headline and the blog post, which includes The New York Times phone-jamming/Watergate parallels (and Tom DeLay's involvement)! And thanks for the graphic, Betsy!


Betsy - 1; GOP - 0.

Slap my palm like a sports ball player, Betsy!

Crying Out For A Caption

DUer Kadie posted this pic yesterday...


Hmm. That face looks like an invitation for us to "bring it on," doesn't it? Fine. We're ready.

Snarky Photograper and Kadie - 1; Tantrum Boy - 0.

The "I" Word

Carl Bernstein, blogging for The Huffington Post, cites John Dean and writes:

Raising the worse-than-Watergate question and demanding unequivocally that Congress seek to answer it is, in fact, overdue and more than justified by ample evidence stacked up from Baghdad back to New Orleans and, of increasing relevance, inside a special prosecutor's office in downtown Washington.

In terms of imminent, meaningful action by the Congress, however, the question of whether the president should be impeached (or, less severely, censured) remains premature. More important, it is essential that the Senate vote -- hopefully before the November elections, and with overwhelming support from both parties -- to undertake a full investigation of the conduct of the presidency of George W. Bush, along the lines of the Senate Watergate Committee's investigation during the presidency of Richard M. Nixon.

Along the lines of the Senate Watergate Committee's Watergate investigation? In your dreams, Carl.

John Dean - 1; Carl Bernstein - shoots but doesn't score; BushCo - 0.

Media Freedom and the Fake Sheikh

Did you hear the one about the fake sheikh? George Galloway at GeorgeGalloway.com exposed him as MurdochBot News Of The World employee, Mazher Mahmood, who pretended to be a sheikh to get inside scoops from movers and shakers.

Snarks - 1; Murdoch - 0.

Jerry Fallwell Fails

The U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear Jerry "Jesus is my pal" Falwell's case against Fallwell.com's Christopher Lamparello. The heathen infidels on the high court didn't buy Jerry's argument that the website's name was too close to his website's name and should be shut down because Jerry... er, wants it to be. There are two Ls in Fallwell.com, Jerry. Get over it. By the way, there are also 2 Ls in Hell, the home of false prophets.

Snarks - 1; Falwell - 0.

Why Bush Won't Fire Rumsfeld

Raise your hand, along with Digby, if you think we're already in Iran. For a bit of fun, try The Huffington Post's War Room Game, and see if you can get Rummy fired.

Snarks - 1; Rumsfeld - 0.

Front Page Blogger

My Left Wing blogger makes the front page: Maryscott O'Connor gets the Washington Post's attention, big time. Read Maryscott's blog post about the process and the final product. Of course, the final article had to be packaged so it would appeal to the Post's moonbat readers too: they employ words like "angry," "rage," and "fury" to describe Maryscott. Pharyngula sums up the Post's story succinctly: "I'll take anger over sleaze any day."

Damned straight Maryscott's angry! So's everyone else in the "wildeyed" 65% bracket.

Snarks - 1; WaPo - 0.

Finally, DU's own Skinner completes this week's snark smackdown with "The REAL Reasons Why Scott McClellan Has Left The White House." Here are just a few of Skinner's gems:

* Wants to spend more time with his family: James Frey, Jayson Blair, and Stephen Glass.

* Chronic motion sickness from excessive spinning.

* Policy of not commenting on "ongoing investigations" has made it virtually impossible for him to comment on anything anymore.

* Constant barrage of hardball questions from the White House Press Corps. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Just kidding.

* Mastered "lies" and "damned lies" but still struggling with "statistics."

* It's the only way he could get out of upcoming hunting trip with vice president.

* Wants to investigate whether it is possible to do other things "like a rug."

* Hoping for cushy job in Jack Abramoff's lobbying firm Tom DeLay's office Duke Cunningham's office Katherine Harris's senate campaign Scooter Libby's office any place that will hire him.

* Considering the fact that the Bush administration has been such a huge success and has done so many awesome things to make this country great, the only possible explanation for the president's low poll numbers is poor performance by White House press secretary.

Skinner (The King of Snark) - 1; BushCo - 0.

Brush up your snarkiness and take a shot at the sitting Dick lovers and lame Dubya supporters... all 35% of them. Easy pickings? They are this week, and bloggers aren't at the gate anymore. We're storming the castle, y'all.

-- Delilah Boyd

[northofdenali]

1. I love snark. It makes me ebullient!!

Skinner is KING!!

[displacedtexan]

2. I love that snark graphic!

Did you create it?

Can I use it?

Delilah Boyd (The DU Blog Box)

[northofdenali]

5. Didn't create it myself - it was emailed to me

by a buddy - isn't it great? I hope it's cool to use it, I have been doing it!! - BTW, LOVE your Blog Box - it gets forwarded to my email "list" a bunch :hi:

[TOhioLiberal]

3. Excellent BlogBox...

...as usual! I give it :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:!

[trogdor]

4. Rec'd and kicked.

And here's my contribution to SnarkFest '05:

[defkon__4]

6. Error: Cynthia Tucker....not Tucker Carlson

The battle over the War on Easter isn't between Tucker Carlson and O'Reilly, it is between Cythia Tucker.

FYI.

[displacedtexan]

9. Thanks! I'll check that out.

[newyawker99]

11. Hi defkon__4!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[ElboRuum]

7. Michelle Malkin...

Well, it's confirmed.

She's in the Guinness Book of World Records under "Longest Lived Case of Anencephaly."

Really, did she actually think that the little stunt she pulled with the Santa Cruz students would go unretaliated? I guess she wasn't thinking. Of course, in her defense, "thinking" is something for people whose cerebrum isn't missing.

:evilgrin:

[Blue_Tires]

8. ttt n/t

[brainshrub]

10. Michele Malkin

New rule in American politics: Don't piss off the bloggers more than you absolutely have to. You never know what kind of creative things they can do to ruin your day.