Pages Declared Enemy Combatants & Sent To Guantanamo

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http://assimilatedpress.blogspot.com/2006/10/pages-declared-enemy-combatants-sent.html

Excerpts (not 4 full paragraphs because that would be the whole article):

Washington, D.C. - In a last ditch effort to save the Republican Party from losing one or both houses of Congress, President Bush today signed an executive order declaring that all congressional pages who had contact with Representative Mark Foley were operating against the welfare of the United States and are therefore to be designated as Enemy Combatants...

Weighing in on this controversy several hours later, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said, "Now that this issue involving inappropriate conduct between the pages and the Republican leadership has become a matter of national security, all documents, memos and e-mails are hereby classified as top secret and will not be available to the public or investigators...

Following the President's declaration and the statement from the Attorney General, Fox News ran a special program featuring Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Ann Coulter. The program was called Satan's Pages Defeated By God's President, A True Story...

Some other satirical articles at that site:
Republican Leadership Blasts Pages For Immoral Behavior
ABC To Feature Torture Of Detainees On New Reality Program
White House OK's Use Of Torture In Public Schools