Keep Talking, Old Man - Democratic Underground

NanceGreggs

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Wed Apr-25-07 07:35 PM
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Keep Talking, Old Man

Edited on Wed Apr-25-07 07:39 PM by NanceGreggs

Keep Talking, Old Man
By Nancy Greggs

I like to give credit where it is due. And at this juncture, no one deserves more credit for ensuring a Democratic sweep in 2008 than the babbling old men of the GOP.

Given their propensity for corruption and bribe-taking, I’m beginning to wonder if some of these guys aren’t on our payroll. Or maybe they’re just as sick and tired of their own incompetence as the majority of the voters are, which has prompted their determination to hand us the 2008 election on a silver platter.

Ignoring for the moment Cheney’s current position, it's easy to see him for what he really is: a snarling curmudgeon, sitting on a park bench, mumbling to himself about the ties between Saddam Hussein and 9-11, incensed that no one is listening.

Unfortunately for the Republican party, Dead Eye Dick is still the VP, able to air his lunatic ravings on the public stage on a regular basis. Keep talking, Big Daddy; nothing says senility like a disconnected-from-reality tub-o’-lard espousing facts that have been debunked over and over again.

Oh, and rushing off for medical treatment on the day Dennis Kucinich was scheduled to file articles of impeachment – nice touch. Nothin’ says nothin’ about the GOP’s brave and unwavering leadership like a five-deferment draft-dodger hiding behind his doctor’s skirts when the going gets rough.

Then there’s John McCain, who can’t open his mouth these days without clearly demonstrating to all and sundry that the GOP are down to scraping the bottom of the presidential wannabe barrel.

Once considered a maverick unafraid of disagreeing with Bush on any number of issues, McCain showed his lack of basic common sense by jumping on the Bush policy bandwagon after the wheels started coming off. One wonders if McCain, living in an earlier time, would have booked a stateroom on the Titanic the day after it sank.

Asked point-blank by Jon Stewart to respond to the obvious disconnect between the GOP’s Support the Troops talking point and the reality of their disregard for the welfare of the military, McCain launched into a monologue about something completely off topic.

Yuppers, Senator, there’s nothing that screams strong leadership potential like an inability to respond intelligently to a fake news journalist asking a not-so-fake question.

I can’t speak for the entire viewing audience, but I was personally wowed by the la, la, la, I have my fingers in my ears and I can’t hear you delivery of a non-answer. That’s just the kind of Republican cluelessness that put the Dems over the top in the mid-terms – so good on ya, if I do say so myself!

But this week’s coveted Thanks for Sending Voters Our Way prize goes unquestionably to Rudy Giuliani. Mr. Mayor just can’t resist conjuring up those halcyon days when the mere mention of 9-11 was enough to get weak-kneed Americans shiveringly in line behind the GOP.

Reminding listeners that a Republican president was far better equipped to protect the security of the nation, apparently Rudy just doesn’t remember (and there’s a lot of that not remembering stuff going around lately) that the events of September 11th happened on his party’s watch.

After trotting out the shopworn terrorists hate us for our freedoms quote, Rudy warned that a Democratic president would lead to cutting back on the Patriot Act and electronic surveillance. In other words, if we voluntarily allow a Republican administration to remove our freedoms, we’ll win the war against the people who, uh, hate us for our freedoms.

While I’m sure that logic made sense to somebody, somewhere, you can't help but wonder how many voters decided they'd rather have someone with a brain in the White House next time around based on that non-sequiter alone.

Of course, it’s always possible that Giuliani’s mind (such as it is) has been adversely affected by breathing in those post WTC disintegration fumes – you know, the ones his party colleagues determined posed no health threat. Either that or he’s a Democratic operative, determined to hand us the White House in the next election.

But surely no one deserves more credit for sending American voters into the warm embrace of the Democratic party more than the Li’l Guy himself, one Georgie W. Bush, who consistently does more for the Democratic cause than any other individual – and then some.

As though his administration’s failures – from their inability to prevent 9-11 despite the many warnings, to their disregard of the disaster in NOLA – weren’t ever-present in the public’s mind, the Bumbler-in-Chief delivered a non-sensical eulogy in the aftermath of the Virginia Tech massacre that was obviously crafted to dispel any lingering rumors that he is of sound mind. He then topped himself by voicing an unqualified affirmation of his confidence in Alberto Gonzales’ ability to run the Department of Justice, despite the fact that the man can’t even remember where he works if it isn’t printed on an index card and pinned to his mitten strings.

Like I said, I like to give credit where credit is due. And here’s a tip-o’-the-hat to the Republicans who are obviously determined to put a Democrat in the White House in 2008.

Actually, we could have done it without you; but we nonetheless appreciate your efforts on our part.

In summary, the key to an overwhelming Democratic victory in the 2008 elections lies with our Republican friends. I say put them in front of a microphone and a TV camera 24/7 from now until next November, and we can literally dispense with going through the motions of an election – we will have won, hands down, long before the polling stations are open for business.