This Week's Top Ten Questions To Ask Republicans

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Some of this week's hottest liberal blog questions: what's blue, has the Enron logo carved into its back, and is depicted in biological reproduction mode? Who's the biggest asshole ever to serve as president? Who's investing upwards of $25 million in "Old Europe" while the U.S. dollar crashes? Can you name the Republicans' most notorious serial statistical exaggerator? Who has fetid compost where their hearts should be? And who will Mitt Romney call first if we're attacked again? All this, plus the latest question from a bottom-of-the-pack Republican prez wannabe: how're you fixed for blades? (You'd better check!) And which DUers really rock it out this week? Enjoy!

1. Who Ya Gonna Call, Mitt?

Congressional leaders? The Joint Chiefs? Karl Rove? Nope. The Nation Blog notes that Mitt Romney says...

The question in Tuesday's Republican presidential debate in Michigan came from MSNBC host Chris Matthews, who asked, "Governor Romney... if you were president of the United States, would you need to go to Congress to get authorization to take military action against Iran's nuclear facilities?"

Romney responded, "You sit down with your attorneys and (they) tell you what you have to do. But obviously the president of the United States has to do what's in the best interest of the United States to protect us against a potential threat. The president did that as he was planning on moving into Iraq and received the authorization of Congress..."

So... one can only conclude that Romney must have Harriet Miers on speed dial? Pathetic. In other Republican debate news...

2. Is Fred Thompson Starring In A Remake Of Mahogany?

Move over, Diana Ross, and make room for Frederick Of Hollywood's new tan-in-a-can "non-cancer healthy" face. Other than the wingnut National Review Blog, I seem to be the first (according to Google) to note how wretched Thompson looked in this week's tightie rightie white men debate. My snarky Thompson review and this photo are found in my blog post, "Note To Thompson: Fire Your Makeup Artist. Now. 'Cause Damn!":


Ouch. And Republicans go all guerilla warfare over a haircut? How much do you suppose Thompson paid for that tan? I know. Way too much.

Finally, the only thing more boring than the Republican debate is reading Katharine Q. Seeyle's recap at The NYTimes Caucus Blog's live blogging of said debate. Predictable yawners include:

Several of the candidates boasted about the increase in tax revenue over the last couple of years, which they attributed to the 2001-2003 tax cuts. Of course revenue increased much more following President Clinton's tax increase in 1993. Obviously economic growth will lead to more tax revenue, but there is no economic analysis suggesting that tax breaks can possibly stimulate enough growth to offset the lost tax revenue.

(snip)

The Republican candidates have a difficult time (perhaps more so than the Democrats) dealing with energy issues. They recognize that there is enough concern about global warming that they can't just ignore it.

(snip)

Tom Tancredo says the trade deficit isn't due to buying Chinese toys. It's ALL due to oil. I think he needs to look at the numbers. What can he possibly mean?

(snip)

Mr. McCain is asked a weird question by Chris Matthews: Are we ever going to go back to the 1950's when a man could graduate from high school, marry his high school sweetheart and she wouldn't have to work to have a decent lifestyle? Did I really hear that? The right answer is that most American women want to work and the economy has created opportunities for that change. Mr. McCain says he'd like to see that era return but he doubts it.

So... dig out those aprons, ladies. And keep buying those lead-laden poison toys. Global warming is the new Hula Hoop^TM, and Bill Clinton is smarter than all of the Republicans put together. Did I miss anything? Wait for it. Incoming...

3. Does That R Donation Come With A Packet Of Razor Blades?

Mike Huckabee (R-Unhinged & Proud Of It) thinks the rest of the R prez pack should consider suicide because of their rate of return on campaign donations. Via TPM:

Huckabee: Rivals might consider suicide

GOP Hopeful Mike Huckabee Jokingly Suggests Opponents Might Consider Suicide

Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee joked Tuesday that other candidates might be considering suicide because their level of support doesn't match their fundraising.

The former Arkansas governor, exaggerating, said other GOP presidential hopefuls were raising $100 for every nickel he had raised. "If I were some of these guys, I'd have to be sitting in a warm tub of water with razor blades," Huckabee said in an interview on MSNBC.

The ratio is closer to $10 for every $1 raised by Huckabee.

A national suicide-prevention group later criticized Huckabee.

Or... is that just a bad case of Romney Checkbook Envy festering in your heart, Mike? Speaking of hearts...

4. Has The Grinch Come Early This Year?

Abso-blooming-lutely. Except it's the Malkinites, not the heart-growing green guy. Who else would attack Michael J. Fox wounded war veterans handicapped children? Digby explains:

This is so loathsome I am literally sick to my stomach. These kids were hurt in a car accident. Their parents could not afford health insurance --- and sure as hell couldn't get it now with a severely handicapped daughter. And these shrieking wingnut jackasses are harassing their family for publicly supporting the program that allowed the kids to get health care. A program, by the way, which a large number of these Republicans support as well.

They went after Michael J. Fox. They went after a wounded Iraq war veteran. Now they are going after handicapped kids. There is obviously no limit to how low these people will go.

They'd better pray that they stay rich and healthy and live forever because if there is a hell these people are going to be on the express train to the 9th circle the minute they shuffle off their useless mortal coils.

Scum.

Sadly, they don't have to pray for health and prosperity, Digby. They're basking in the bliss of wingnut welfare, courtesy of Regnery and FOX. Otherwise, they might be able to empathize once in a while. Oh, yeah, and they have cash to invest in countries they vilify...

5. Who Used To Hate Old Europe But Now Is Part Of Its Economy?

That's right: Darth Cheney. Down With Tyranny explains:

And, in fact, it has been more than somewhat ironic that while he was besmirching the name of "Old Europe," and while his government's policies have been fundamentally destroying the very foundations of the American middle class and the nation's prosperity, Cheney has been investing much of his considerable personal fortune in... Old Europe. And he's done very well, of course.

Never forget: Cheney dissed Old Europe over its reluctance to join in his reindeer games, namely invading and occupying Iraq. Here's another...

6. Memory Refresher: Why Are We Surging?

Oh, yeah. So the Iraqi government can get its political reconciliation act together. Rising Hegemon reports, however, that no one is paying attention to the fact that Bush's surge goal... um, has failed.

Let it be noted that the Iraqi government has given up on political reconciliation. The alleged purpose behind "the surge" (as opposed to the real reason, George Bush is an gigantic prick).

(snip)

Bush wins, he is now the biggest asshole ever to serve as President. He beats Buchanan, Pierce, and Harding. He has given us faith that in our day and age, it is still possible to be the worst President ever.

Don't forget, Rising Hegemon: Barbara "Mama Beautiful Mind" Bush was a Pierce before she married Poppy. Little acorns yada yada yada.

You really can't make this stuff up. From Josh Marshall:

GOP Mocks Humor Gods One Too Many Times

GOP releases their 2008 Convention Logo .... elephant bending over in Minneapolis. Nope. Not kidding. It's really their logo ...

Marshall also has the peculiar history of Larry Craig's stall saga and wonders if Craig will attend the GOP convention in Minneapolis. That distinctly aggressive bending-over and BRIGHT BLUE elephant in the GOP logo also begs the question...

7. Will Larry "Wide Stance" Craig Ever Quit... um, Stalling?

Now that "wide stance" has jumped from the vernacular to the lexicon, AmericaBlog notes:

http://www.americablog.com/2007/10/gop-senator-larry-craigs-wide-stance-is.html">GOP Senator Larry Craig's "Wide Stance" is a hit!

AP does a follow-up story on how the phrase "wide stance" has apparently entered the lexicon in a big way. How much more of this can the GOP take?

Among the most famous excuses ever given for questionable behavior, "I have a wide stance" must fall somewhere between the schoolchild's favorite "the dog ate my homework" and President Clinton's "I didn't inhale."

But Sen. Larry Craig's contention -- made just after his arrest in a restroom sex sting -- has permeated the public consciousness, showing up as more than just the punch line to late-night talk show jokes.

The online Urban Dictionary defines "wide stance" as a euphemism for a closeted homosexual. David Kurtz of the blog "Talking Points Memo" called Craig's wide stance claim "The Best Legal Defense of 2007." And Beau Jarvis, who writes about wine, travel and food on the blog "Basic Juice," notes that the phrase has become less than innocent and proposes "cleansing" it by using it to describe a well-balanced wine.

Hm. Wide Stance + Craig's Restroom Romp(s) + Snarky Blog Posts = Another look at that GOP logo: Queerty adds:

The Republicans recently unveiled their new national convention logo.

As you can see, the grand old party decided to take their iconic elephant in a new, decidedly shitty direction.

We're not sure what they're going for, but it's awful. Let's ignore the childish graphics and threatening tusks and focus on those star eyes. Is the elephant on drugs? Did it just get punched? Can it shoot laser beams?

If it can shoot laser beams, are they red?

Funny. I'm still wondering why the original new-and-improved GOP logo has that obvious Enron logo imbedded in the elephant's back. Any ideas?

8. Have You Thanked A DUer This week?

Thanks to acmavm for the hilarious reply to this photo posted by Stephanie:

My goodness, he looks like a really ugly Pez dispenser.

Astute observation, acmavm!

Thanks to whereismycountry for posting this great interactive Bush disapproval map. Turning blue never looked so good, whereismycountry. Thanks! Sorry, Utah Dems: Yours is the only really, really red state left. Oh, well. Time for another question with an obvious answer...

9. Is The Heritage Foundation Full Of Shit?

Tony at The Air-Conditioned Poor says... Duh.Then he says DUH again. Only with style. Here's a snippet:

The report claims there are 15 million US households below the poverty line. Jumping to page 3 of the report, I see the section of interest: Households With Electric Air-Conditioning Equipment. Here I see an updated statistic nationwide: 77.5% of all American households have air conditioning. However, according to the report only 9.6 million households belonging to people below the poverty line have air conditioning.

That's not 80%. That's 64%. The Heritage Foundation's statistic is off by approximately 2,400,000 households.

Did I make a mistake? This data seems pretty clear to me. The DOE has already done the breakdown, and I'm using the exact web site that the Heritage Foundation cites. The math is simple. I really don't see how I could've made a mistake, but then again I don't see how the Heritage Foundation could've made it either.

No mistake, Tony. They get paid handsomely to fudge the numbers. While we're exposing shady wingnut societies full of shit, Your Right Hand Thief asks (and answers in detail, with tons of names and links): "So, what is this Council for National Policy and what do they hope to accomplish?" The membership roster over several decades reads like your typical GOP demons list: Tim LaHaye; Paul Weyrich; Phyllis Schlafly; Robert Grant; Howard Phillips; Richard Viguerie; Morton Blackwell; Woody Jenkins; Steve Baldwin; Nelson Bunker "Bunky" Hunt; Richard DeVos; Pat Robertson; Paul Pressler; Ed Meese; Donald Hodel; and current president Kenneth Cribb.

Holy Dominionist Movement, Batman! (Cue Vincent Price's "Thriller" laugh.) Seriously, though... You know who else is full of shit?

10. Who's Your Lyin' Nineelevenani Daddy?

Rudolph the Serial Statistical Exaggerator. I like the sound of that. He lied about tax cuts, adoption increases, how much time he spent at Ground Zero, and "how little time it took" him to his 9/11 command center up and running. This week, Rudolph's lies about increasing the police force have been exposed like the wide-stance excuses we've all come to expect from Republicans. WTF Is It Now? writes:

http://maruthecrankpot.blogspot.com/2007/10/mayor-9-11.html">Mayor 9-11

Rudy Giuliani claims he added 12,000 cops to New York City while in office. The real figure was much closer to 911 and paid for by Clinton but....
Headline from FARK, full story Here

Poor Rudolph. His eyes bug out, and he sounds like the original Mike TeeVee when he talks. He's much shorter than most of his Republican opponents, and he's a proven liar. Naturally, he's polling well among wingnuts.

This was the blog week that was. As we await the announcement of this year's Nobel Peace Prize winner(s), are we ready to accept the inevitable? If Al Gore wins, wingnuts will cry foul (and they won't be complaining about the weird weather); if Gore shares the prize, wingnuts will note that his efforts weren't good enough to stand on their own; if he doesn't win, wingnuts will thank their definition of God for not allowing Democrats to humiliate them. Regardless of the outcome, we need to be prepared to address the tightie righties' reactions. Keep sending those great blog links to [e-mail] and keep fighting. The country and the planet depend on us.

--Delilah Boyd

[monktonman]

1. That last picture of Ghouliani......

Is that real?
Or photoshop?

[annabanana]

2. Excellent round-up!

I always enjoy the recap.. And you always manage to highlight some gem that I've missed.

Thank you!

[Gabi Hayes]

3. one of my favorite threads....ever! can't wait

for the next installment.

thank you!

[Gabi Hayes]

4. you should've shown this, instead of hyperinking :

http://www.ascrivenerslament.blogspot.com/

glad to have found this....never saw it before

right up there with Landover Baptist

[displacedtexan]

5. Thanks for the comments, everyone!

Speaking of comments, next week's column is all about...
Drum roll, please... reader comments after blog posts.

There are some real gems there and some real R idiotic ones, too.

As for just hyperlinking to the Bush disapproval map, sometimes
there's just not enough room for all of the great graphics.

Delilah

[Th1onein]

6. Oh my! This is a weekly feature?

I must have not been paying attention. This is GREAT! I'll be looking for it from now on!