Hillary Sells Own Tears on eBay

[matcom]

<snip>

In a bold strategy to raise funds for her cash-strapped presidential campaign, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton today announced that she was selling her own tears on the popular auction site eBay.

After lending her campaign $5 million of her own money prior to the Super Tuesday primaries, Mrs. Clinton’s resources were reportedly tapped out, leading her to auction off vials of her own tears with a suggested opening bid of $10,000.

While the posted eBay description of her tears does not attribute any healing properties to them, it does claim that their historic value could be priceless.

<snip>

Reportedly, the plan to marry Mr. Romney broke down when a representative for the former governor conveyed the message that Mr. Romney did not believe in polygamy.

“Hillary cried when she heard the news about Romney,” the aide said. “But hopefully, those tears will find a buyer.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/


































humor people. we all need HUMOR :hide:

[underpants]

1. WELL YOU OBVIOUS DON'T CARE ABOUT CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM!!!

Because, yes, it could to happen this week

:grr:

What did she tear again? Can they stitch it up?

[matcom]

4. CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM IS ANTI-GAY!!1

[LostinVA]

10. SO IS AL GORE!111!!1

[underpants]

12. IF YOU CAN'T PLAY THE GD: P GAME DON'T GET OFF THE BENCH!!!

Use the arrow keys to move walk left and right, and to duck.
Press "A" to throw poop. Use the arrow keys to throw poop in different directions.
Press "S" to jump.
http://www.it-kids.net/game/games/Monkey-Poo-Fight


Oh if you run into Mitt Romney tell him that me and Jon Stewart say %$*& YOU
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=2834056&mesg_id=2834056

[Dogmudgeon]

2. Humor is incredibly offensive to people who have thin skins

How dare you oppress the hypersensitive!

You cad!

--p!

[CorpGovActivist]

6. Hillary's tears heal thin skin, though.

Right?

Right?

:shrug:

:rofl:

- Dave

[Dogmudgeon]

20. Remember that bratty space princess who cried on Captain Kirk?

Maybe ... just maybe ...

--p!

[DS1]

3. Oh! I see King Douche de la Velaquez finally came down his mountain

:eyes:

[matcom]

7. Fresca is EVIL!

[LostinVA]

5. You know, somebody is going to get pissed at you for this

That's the "beauty" of GD:P.

[matcom]

8. i'm counting on it

:D

[ChairmanAgnostic]

9. LOL, thanks, I kneaded this. (time to make FSM pasta)

[HughMoran]

11. .

:rofl:

You're bad!

[geiger]

13. F U

and this is counter-productive....u say u have "humor"??

[LostinVA]

15. What does this have to do with global warming?

[DS1]

16. nothing, but it's been proven that matcom has no sense of humor at all

judging by this weak, inflammatory, humorless thread.


:eyes:

[LostinVA]

18. You used your eye rollies -- IGNORE

[DS1]

27. what?

[LostinVA]

30. Someone was putting people on ignore evry time they used the eye rollies smiley

[DS1]

32. I know

I was reacting to being put on ignore

:rofl:

[LostinVA]

34. Douchebag

[peacetalksforall]

14. Really low.

[Midlodemocrat]

28. Lighten up, Francis.

[LostinVA]

31. Look who's talking, Fresca Tongue

[THUNDER HANDS]

17. squirrels!!!

[Fire Walk With Me]

29. Squirrels!?

[Coexist]

19. celestial drops!

[blogslut]

21. Why is that house-climbing smiley so damned fascinating?

Why matcom? Why?

[EFerrari]

22. I SO want to make this race into a rock opera! I just need an investor!

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

35. Give this guy a call

Seems he'd be amenable.







He may be a tad short on cash these days, though.

[bigtree]

23. now, that's funny

wrong, but funny

[joshcryer]

24. We need Hillary mocking "humor"? Which consists of about 1/3rd of threads here? OK.

[matcom]

25. terribly sexist too dontcha think?

implying she NEEDS to marry Mittens?

i mean REALLY!

[Kurovski]

26. ALL the gals can marry Mittens,

can't they?

[JimGinPA]

That is Funny

:toast:

[SoxFan]

33. Nice post, Idi Amin

:spank:

[Spirochete]

36. Damn it!

Now I wish I hadn't blown all my money on Madonna's belly button lint.