NEWS FLASH: Barack Obama Guilty of Plagiarizing From Dan Patrick

[Berry Cool]

ANYWHERE, USA - Observers of the contentious Democratic primary race were shocked today at revelations of distinct parallels between statements made in speeches by candidate Barack Obama and TV sports personality Dan Patrick.

Anonymous operatives believed to be connected with the campaign of his rival, New York Senator Hillary Clinton, posted to YouTube this morning videos pointing out similarities between phrasings used in the Illinois senator's speeches and those used by Dan Patrick during his days as a cohost of ESPN's popular program "SportsCenter."

The videos included speeches in which Obama claimed to be "en fuego with hope" and that he would not brag about the success of his campaign vs. Senator Clinton's because "Real men don't taunt." In making a reference to the Republican nominee apparent, John McCain, he said that in the general election, he was the best choice to win because "the other party's candidate must go down, and he must go down hard."

He also stated that while he had suffered "the whiff" in the New Hampshire primary, he was now winning states "with authority" and that, while Clinton might hope to surpass him, "She's not...gonna...get...me."

"I am disgusted," said one Clinton supporter in Texas. "This is why I could never vote for this man. He can't even come up with his own original catchphrases."

Asked for his professional opinion on the case of apparent plagiarism of quotes by his former workmate and friend, MSNBC anchorman Keith Olbermann said, "Gggghh." Asked to elaborate, he added, "This may just leave Obama drooling the drool of regret into the pillow of remorse. I mean, time was, he'd give a speech and a mighty roar would go up from the crowd, and there was much rejoicing. He was really putting the biscuit in the basket. If you're scoring at home--or even if you're alone--he was racking up a lot of states there. But now it's becoming more and more apparent that when it comes to speeches, he just gets a roll of stamps and mails it in. Apparently, Mr. Dictionary has failed him. Ohh, the pain, the shame! If he doesn't come up with something original soon, it may be time to say 'Check, please' on his campaign."

Spokespeople for Obama's campaign said Obama had no intention of calling his campaign short. "Look," said one, "I heard someone just put up a video of him quoting Danica Patrick. That is really pathetic and desperate. This isn't going to change anything. He's going to keep on moving."

Obama may have had the final word, after a campaign rally in Wisconsin: "Quit? No way. You can't stop me--you can only hope to contain me."

[backscatter712]

1. self delete

Didn't realize this was snark...

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

Close to the best sarcasm I've ever seen.

[Danieljay]

2. I tell you what, the Hillary Clinton camp keeps up this bullshit I will take back my promise to vote

for her if she wins the nomination. This article is a joke but Howard Wolfson needs to shut his trap.

This is pathetic bullshit and stinks of Republican smear tactics.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

3. Man the phones!!!

[RevCheesehead]

4. Don't you ever worry about accidentally biting your tongue?

At least it's in your own cheek, and not Keith's. :evilgrin: