A Tale Of Two Edwards Supporters - Democratic Underground

FlyingSquirrel

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Fri Feb-29-08 04:22 PM
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A Tale Of Two Edwards Supporters

Edited on Fri Feb-29-08 04:30 PM by FlyingSquirrel

One moved into Obama's camp; the other into Clinton's. Prior to this they had both been happy as clams (well, they would've been happier if Edwards had been winning). You'd think the one who moved to Obama would be happy still -- perhaps even happier since his preferred candidate seemed to be winning quite handily -- and he was happy enough for awhile, till he realized what had happened to one of his favorite Edwards compatriots. She had become more and more unhappy and alienated here on DU as the weeks went past after Edwards dropped out. Most didn't see the full extent of her unhappiness because she didn't let that out as much in public forums. But it was there. And she was not alone.

Now look, people. Is this what you want? I hear it all the time: "Oh, don't worry, they'll come around. They'll suck it up and support whoever wins the nomination. And if they won't, then they don't belong on DU." Well they may "come around" and they may not. But as long as they're following the rules, they belong on DU. They're our fellow Democrats. They're a part of this COMMUNITY.

I object to those who claim that the people who support Hillary Clinton are making false claims of sexism. She may be losing for many reasons, but you can be sure sexism is one of those reasons. If Barack Obama were losing, racism would be one of the reasons. Just because it isn't the sole reason or even the primary reason (in your opinion), doesn't make it ok.

Sexism exists in this country. It hasn't been conquered and it is not a myth and it has not become rare. I know this personally because I helped a co-worker out in filing a sexual discrimination lawsuit against our employer. Believe me, just because there are laws to protect women in the workplace doesn't mean it's easy getting redress when someone violates those laws. She went back to smoking cigarettes due to the stress of the situation - several years later she died of breast cancer. It might have happened anyway, but who can know? I still place a portion of the blame for her early death on our manager, and on sexism in general. Sexism is real and it has real consequences for real people in real life, far beyond just "hurt feelings".

What's really important here is that we should not be hurting our fellow DU'ers. It doesn't matter who started it. It doesn't matter if the other side is saying nasty things too. Two wrongs don't make a right - what are we, still in kindergarten? At this point, some of us have become so sensitive that ANY attack on Hillary's character is perceived to be an attack on them and, sometimes, on women in general. In some cases they may be right. But even in those cases where they're wrong, should you respond by ramping up the rhetoric and the nastiness?

How about this instead. Try apologizing when someone takes offense to something you've said as being sexist. Even if you didn't mean it that way, even if you think they're out of their minds. Even if you think they're just "playing the victim" or somehow trying to score points for their candidate.

Then think about what it is that you said. Think about whether it would make sense, if applied to a man in the same situation. Maybe in your mind it would. So what? You've most likely still offended them - apologize and let it go. There are more important things in life than being right all the time.

Or maybe, just maybe, after thinking about it you'll realize that you were wrong to say what you did. Great! We're all here to learn things (well, most of us) so now you've just learned something new. Incorporate it into your life.

Mending fences with Clinton supporters should not be done just to "bring them to our side in the general election," if you're making the assumption that Obama will be the nominee. It should be done because it's the right thing to do, because we're a community here, because it matters when someone's feelings are hurt. And if you HAVEN'T hurt anyone's feelings, (or don't believe you have), you should still stand up for others when you see they have been upset and believe they have some reason to be. See something blatantly sexist? Alert on it! Don't just shake your head and click on the next thread. These are our sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, daughters, fellow DU'ers. They deserve to be respected and treated as the equals they are.