This really disgusts me that I feel I have to say this but I do. I had the same minister

[Maraya1969]

throughout my whole childhood and teen years. I really liked him and he was very very popular and it was a big fun church, (it was not strict or fundamentalist. It was Methodist and I never heard anything about needing to be "saved" in order to get to heaven).

When I was in my teen years I developed a horrible panic disorder and the beginnings of bipolar disorder. This was in the late 70's and my mother and father were experts in the art of denial and never thought to take me to a real doctor so I ran to the person who could help me; my minister. He calmed my fears by telling me over an over that I was indeed NOT going over some precipice of insanity to which I would never return. He reassured me that my feelings that I was going to die RIGHT NOW were just a result of the anxiety and had nothing to do with reality. I remember going on a cruise once and the only way I could board the ship was to keep telling myself that if I had an attack there was a way to call ship to shore so I could talk to him. To this very day I remember some of the things he said to me and it helps me when I am having a bad time.

And guess what? Somewhere along the 3 year period I saw him on and off for counseling he managed to start molesting me. I could not make sense of it and my denial went to marvelous depths to try and explain why his hand would end up on my breast or my ass. I told myself he was a minister and he could not possibly be doing these things on purpose. I even told myself he was a-sexual because he was a man of God, (he had 7 kids....:crazy: ). I find it amazing how my brain denied what was happening because it believed that this man was the only savior I had. Of course he knew this and used it to his advantage.

The point is he took advantage of me, he was not what he said he was, he damaged me, he abused me and somehow he helped me too. It took me years of other help to get through what he did to me.

At some point, after practicing forgiveness over and over toward him I was able to use in my daily life the wisdom that he taught me.

So when people say Obama went to that minister for 20 years maybe, just maybe he was getting what he needed from him and leaving the rest for that reason..he needed that minister. It certainly does not compare to what I went through but the premise of not completely disassociating with a person who has some really bad behaviors and beliefs and hanging on for the grains of truth they give you is universal in my opinion.

And the most important thing I want to stress is I did not know this minister was going to abuse me for many many years before he did.

If anyone can see the correlation even though it regards to 2 different situations than maybe this statement I've also learned will help you understand where I am coming from. "Take what you want and need and leave the rest"

It is very possible that Obama and Michelle have done just that. I think they have.

[Hoof Hearted]

1. I appreciate your thoughtful post. You were placed in your church by your inattentive parents

Obama is/was not a child. There were other churches to go to and if he had any kind of "judgement" he would have packed up and found a different one.

[Window]

9. If your brother, sister or anyone in your family committed murder,

would that make you a murderer, too? Would you disown them or would you denounce the crime and still love them?

(I used the word murder as an example because some of you act like that is exactly what Rev. Wright did -- commit murder in the pulpit.)

Stop with the phony outrage. If it were Hillary's paster, or whatever she has, it would be okay with you.

[roguevalley]

13. our ministers hated catholics and blacks. said so from the pulpit.

that is their burden. It didn't affect our outlook on life. My mother slapped a man's face for saying the n word in front of her. if she was responsible for that preacher, she wouldn't have. fuck the idea that we are responsible for anyone not related to us. we all by this definition are COMPLETELY and INTIMATELY and TOTALLY responsible for George Bush because we heard and saw his SHIT and DID NOTHING!

We all did nothing.

[Name removed]

2. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[JohnnyLib2]

3. I appreciate your candor and just plain guts to post this.

With all respect, I do not think this is the right environment for your story. It really might be best to cancel (delete) it as a form of self protection.

Again, thank you for an extremely thought provoking piece.

[Melinda]

4. You're projecting; trauma does that. I hope you get the help you need...

in a safe environment.

From one to survivor to another.

Peace.

[Breeze54]

5. You poor kid...

Your 'minister' was an asshole child molester and I hope you put him in prison!
That had to have been a difficult story to share here. But at any rate, yes, I
get your point. "Don't believe everything you hear or are told." I'm sure, with
Obama's education level, that he's able to discern the good from the bad. He's
strikes me as a smart person. I doubt he's gullible, as I doubt Clinton is too.
I think some of his being there is also to be near the people that he had worked
with for years when he was doing neighborhood organizing and reaching out to others.
It probably wouldn't have looked good for him to attend a different church from the
very people he was trying to help, would it? I'll bet they would have felt insulted.

:hug:

[LulaMay]

6. I agree and feel your pain.

[Divine Discontent]

7. the combination together is frustrating to read...

Firstly, my deep condolences for your suffering.

I know you don't mean to make any insinuations but it is very insinuating, and combined with the horrid things that were done to you that you detail, is not a fair comparison.

Best wishes...

[angie_love]

8. Not a fair comparison at all, but i'm sorry you were molested by someone

you trusted.

[Jamastiene]

10. I really don't know what to say, so please accept this instead:

:hug:

[Maraya1969]

11. Can I reiterate that this happened 35 years ago!

I do not blame my parents for this. They did not know it was going on until I finally "woke up" one day and realized it. I've been to therapy because of it and support groups and I did report him to a minister of another Methodist church years later, (he was retired at the time) and I went to a lawyer about telling the police and he told me all about how they would ask for specifics and blah blah............you know what I am talking about - years ago the victim was re-victimized if they tried to seek justice.

I did manage to confront him in a parking lot of a diner with a friend about 10-15 years later. I was with a friend and he was with his WIFE so I felt like I got a lot of closure from that. I screamed at him at told him finally that he was wrong and I did not do anything wrong and his poor wife was saying, "What happened?" to which my friend replied, "You're husband molested my friend".
I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in their home that night!

Also, when the Catholic priest scandal came out a few years back my mother called me on the phone and apologized to me and I finally felt that she really understood and believed me.

And right the fuck now tears are streaming down my face so I guess I am not completely healed and probably never will be. But I know that holding on to resentment is toxic and that is why I spent so much time practicing forgiving the man.

And I do not see anything wrong with me posting my story here. Maybe it does not make sense to most people but to me it does.


Also now he is DEAD.

I appreciate all the nice comments in this thread. And to the ones who have nothing but criticism because they are regarding my post as a defense of Obama and Michele just get over it please.

There are thousands of people who listen to Obama's paster. Are they all fucking racists?

[girl_interrupted]

12. Maraya1969....I don't know, I left the Catholic Church

because of the pedophila scandals, I thought the way they handled them was disgraceful. I could not see giving them money, when I knew it was going to pay off law suits. I also didn't appreciate being told who not to vote for, if they were pro choice. I don't feel I need a church to worship God. I can do that in private, anytime. Maraya1969, I'm so sorry for all u have been through, took a lot of courage to survive it. I hope life is going well for you now.

[kwassa]

14. I think the comparison of Wright to a child molester is unfair.

I'm very sorry about what happened to you personally, but I think the comparison is unfair.

Wright is not a child-molester, a bigot, or a racist, some of the aspersions cast upon him.