I'm an early boomer woman, and I LIKE being called sweetie by anyone

[housewolf]

male or female. It gives me a smile.

Look, I came of age during the feminist era of the 70's when women were burning their bras. I've lived through the "war of the sexes" and the women's movement.

From my perspective, there is NOTHING inherently sexist about terms like "sweetie" or "hon".

You may think that there is. You may be a member of the PC Patrol who is always on the lookout for things to be offended by. But I gotta tell you, the fact that you may think "sweetie" is sexist DOES NOT MAKE IT SO. It's you OPINION, it is not anybody's rule but your own.

If someone calls you "sweetie" and you are offended, you have a right to be offended. But that does not make the speaker a sexist or the term itself sexist. Because I and others would not be offended by that.

So speak for yourselves, DU, and give up this nonsense about hard and fast rules about what is sexist or what is racist and what is not. -ism's come from intent, beliefs and attitudes, not words. What's with some of the people on this board needing to criticize, judge, point fingers like the RW-ers by telling folks what they should or should not say, think or do?

My god, DU! Hang around you guys long enough and the only words anybody will be able to say is "f*ck" and "OMG"!!




:rant:

This is my first-ever rant on DU. Flame away.

[goldcanyonaz]

1. My husband calls me sweetie, but my boss doesn't. He wouldn't be my boss for long if he did.

[hfojvt]

50. I think my boss has called me that

or 'dear' or 'hon' or something equivalent, but since she is smoking hot, she can call me anything she wants as far as I am concerned.

Unfortunately she is married, and 50 years old.

[WillyT]

2. Can You Point Me To Where All This "Sweetie" Stuff Started ???

I must have missed it.

:shrug:

[goldcanyonaz]

3. Obama called a woman sweetie on the campaign trail.

[WillyT]

8. Link Please ???

News item, or DU post... either one would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

[housewolf]

36. I'll try to get them for you but there are 21 threads in the past day

It all started yesterday sometime. I did a search on sweetie & obama and I'll try to copy the links over here for you.

[BlooInBloo]

11. It's all a part of what a certain segment of the population fearfully reports as Obama...

... being "flirtatious". That sort of thing, from a person like him, scares a certain segment of the population.

[goldcanyonaz]

19. A person like him? What are you implying?

[Liberal Veteran]

30. It is implying that some people have a problem with familiarity from...

...people who are black. Or something like that.

[Ronnie]

97. I don't think it's anything of the sort.

Nobody better call me any kind of pet name unless they are married to me or are somebody in my family older than me. When someone I don't know calls me 'Sweetie' or 'Hon' or anything like that, I cringe. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

[cliffordu]

28. duplicate post

sorry

[cliffordu]

29. OMFG!!!! ITEOTWAWKI!!!!!

HAAAAAALLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!


Jesus. What a waste of electrons.

[Forkboy]

63. Obama called a woman sweetie, a pro-Hillary columnist took offense....

only the columnist joked about another woman not being to get raped at her age a few years back. Rape jokes? Ok - Sweetie? OH NOEZ!!!11!!

Here's the story.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=5402122&mesg_id=5402122

[housewolf]

68. All the threads from last night till now containing the words "sweetie" and "obama"

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5401547
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5402122
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5403423
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5403989
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5404164
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5402604
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5402646
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5403726
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5406072
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5405685
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5405661
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5401763
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5403319
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5405319
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5406922
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5404823
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5406595
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5404063
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5402085
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=5403029

[WillyT]

73. WOW !!! - Thanks... I Think...

Seriously, thank you for all that work.

:hi:

[housewolf]

74. You know what they say... be careful what you ask for

'cause you just might get it!

I found those doing a search on sweetie & obama, and then didn't have a chance to check them all out. Some/many/most may not be relevent but ... there you go. Have fun.

[Yael]

4. I'm with you

But then again, I tend to be rather informal by my nature. Things like that simply don't bother me.

[niyad]

5. just because you are not offended by a sexist term, does NOT mean that it is NOT sexist.

surely, if you came of age during the third wave of the women's movement, you can figure that out?

a significant other may call me sweetie. a candidate trying to get my vote, or somebody who is not related to me, may not.

it really is that simple.

[Liberal Veteran]

7. So when my female co-workers call me (a male) "sweetie" they are calling me a woman...

....in a derogatory way?

[Hugabear]

14. Yes, they are self-hating sexists

:sarcasm:

[patrice]

22. They may be saying that they appreciate considerate behaviors they've observed, possibly in

corelation with your role in one or more situations.

[tridim]

10. But it's not sexist, at all. Never has been, never will

Worst. Faux outrage. EVER. Stunningly so.

[goldcanyonaz]

25. If my male boss calls me sweetie, you can make bank that it's not going to be tolerated.

[Liberal Veteran]

34. And those who go looking for reasons to be offended remarkably....

....have little trouble finding them.

[housewolf]

39. You don't like if - that's fine. Tell your boss you don't appreciate it

that's YOUR personal boundary and you have every right and responsibility to communicate such to your boss.

But it's not a rule and somebody sitting next to you might be fine with it.

[Liberal Veteran]

62. Can you just imagine someone storming up to the manager in a cafe screaming....

...."I AM SO OFFENDED!!!! THE WAITRESS CALLED ME SWEETIE!!!! I WANT HER TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SO SEXIST!!!!"

I rather imagine the people who are fauxfended by this must be the kind of people I absolutely despised when I worked in retail.

[housewolf]

69. LOL!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Hugabear]

71. Fuck apologizing - that waitress should be FIRED

She should be fired, and forced to live on handouts for the rest of her life. :sarcasm:

[Not the Only One]

86. The Dunkin Donuts lady called me "hon" on Friday and I liked it.

I like to imagine she doesn't say that to everyone so I feel special.

[Evergreen Emerald]

51. you have no idea.

[tridim]

60. I live in the same society you do.

So yes, I have an idea of what's offensive and what's not.

[Evergreen Emerald]

66. The fact that you don't know tells me that you have no idea

It is not about offense. It is about power and control. It is about the food-chain. I dare you to call a female boss "Sweety" and see how far you get.

[tridim]

84. Yea, the old lady at the cleaners that calls me sweety is so powerful and contolling.

:eyes:

I hear the word used almost daily. It's a kind term. Period.

[Bicoastal]

13. Wait--shouldn't the person who was CALLED the "sexist" term make the decision

on whether it's offensive to her as a woman or not?

[housewolf]

23. THANK YOU! I totally agree with that...

if someone's offended when being called "sweetie" they have a right to inform the speaker but it is not a rule.

[housewolf]

21. It's a terms that's used by both men and women towards both men and women

How is that sexist?

Just because you may be offended by it does make it sexist.

Look, there is no rule about these things. There is no "Official Sexist Terms" handbook that I was ever aware of.

If you don't like, that's a boundary that you have set for yourself. It is not a universal. THAT's what the feminist movement that I grew up in was about - defining oneself and setting one's own boundaries, not buying into other's definitions.

[LaurenG]

33. It is a silly thing to be mad at since the person he called sweetie doesn't take it

in an offensive way.

So if Bill Clinton said that to you would you be upset? Would it be so offensive if it came from someone you admired? The lady Senator Obama called sweetie was a supporter of his, and as far as I know she hasn't complained.

Be reasonable.

[Liberal Veteran]

67. We must be offended on her behalf since she obviously too dimwitted to think for herself.

:rofl:

[niyad]

78. I don't care WHO calls me "sweetie"-- if the person isn't my SO, or related

to me, or a close friend, I do NOT appreciate it.

[LaurenG]

81. OK Niyad, I will never refer to you like that and I suggest that if

someone were to say that to you just nicely tell them that you don't feel that term is an appropriate word to call you and please don't do it again.

You can set a nice boundary without having to have a scene and people will know how you feel.

:hi:

[tabasco]

6. Hi Sweetie!

You can call me Sweetie too.

The girl at the supermarket calls me "honey."

She calls everybody "honey."

[housewolf]

43. Thanks Sweetie!

You're an O8)



:toast:

[DarienComp]

9. Sweetie! Darling!

Sweetie, darling!

[Evergreen Emerald]

12. It is about minimization. When a loved one says it from the heart

that is different. When a male peer says it, it is putting the female in a lower postition than he is. It is demeaning and meant to make himself superior to that person.

[DarienComp]

16. Or it's just a term of endearment.

[Evergreen Emerald]

32. I am certain that if someone called Obama "boy" you would be

offended and see the "term of endearment" for what it was--and attempt to put him at a lower status. "Sweety" is no different. Now, you can argue and deny it all day if you want to, but that does not change it. It only makes you insensitive to the sexism that is prevalent in our society.

[Bicoastal]

35. Who made YOU the arbiter of what's offensive and what isn't? The woman HERSELF wasn't offended!

She gave Obama a big hug! Why is this any of your beeswax?

As for "sweetie" = "boy"...that's ludicrous. SWEETY in the right context is complimentary. Calling a grown man a BOY in any context is demeaning.

[Evergreen Emerald]

44. What made me?

Because I am a women who lives in the man's world. I live the sexism every day in my profession.

She may not have been offended, she may not have shown her offense (really what is she supposed to say?) but it is demeaning nonetheless.

[Bicoastal]

56. YOU'RE offended. YOU'RE demeaned. Not Women with a capital W. YOU.

"It is demeaning nonetheless." Says who?

I agree, women have a difficult time in the workplace--but this comment was not made by one employee to another. This was made by a male politician to a female supporter.

Do you REALLY think this was the same as a white person calling a black man "boy?" REALLY?

[DarienComp]

42. "Boy" ain't a term of endearment, sorry.

If Obama had called her "little lady" or something like that, you might have a point.

[niyad]

76. and you don't think there is a problem with using a term of endearment for someone

you don't know, to whom you have no relation, and who, in fact, may by in a subordinate position to you?

I am sorry you seem to have trouble understanding why people are upset.

[DarienComp]

87. A President is not a king or an emperor

and we aren't his subordinates. Yes, it may seem that way after 8 years of Shrub, but we do still have a Constitution.

[Bicoastal]

17. self-delete.

Someone's going to flame me, I just know it.

[Liberal Veteran]

18. And what about when a woman peer says it to a man?

Is she being a sexist misandrist?

[housewolf]

31. It's a term that is used by both women and men towards both women and men

Well, men don't usually use it towards other men but women often use it towards both women and men. I disagree that it's demeaning. I do not think that it is NECESSARILY minimizing and demeening.

[NOLALady]

49. OK.

What does it mean when a female says it to a male or another female?

[Forkboy]

65. The columnist who took offense joked about rape to another woman.

So rape jokes are cool, but "sweetie" is over the top. :eyes:

[whopis01]

103. And what is it when a waitress uses it while taking your order?

I'm not really trying to argue against your point, just pointing out that there are situations other then between loved ones where there is no offense meant. In parts of the country, it is a very casual term that is often used without any ill will meant.

[patrice]

15. So "Sweetie" isn't okay either????? There's just no pleasing some folks!

Let's hear it for any/all Sweeties!! And those who (aren't our bosses, but) are brave enough to be that generous and kindly with others.

[housewolf]

53. Uhhh... I'm arguing on the same side that you are

against those who have been ranting all over the place here about how "sexist" it is to use such a "sexist" term as "sweetie".

I'm fine with calling people "sweetie". I don't find it sexist or offensive in any way.

[NanceGreggs]

20. Excellent rant! K&R!

:applause:

[0007]

24. LOL! Very witty NanceGreggs

[TomInTib]

26. Well, put, SweetHeart.

I went right past "Sweetie" because I am a bit more visceral than that.

KnR

[hisownpetard]

104. Nice post, doll-face.

[2rth2pwr]

27. The law is the law, fight to change it if you don't like it.

Although sexual harassment law has been developed in reference to employer-employee relationships, the principles apply to faculty-student relationships as well. In general, faculty members can avoid trouble by taking the following commonsense advice. First, avoid behavior that students might interpret as sexually harassing.

* Don’t date students.
* Don't address students as honey, sweetie, dear, darling, sugar, or other terms of familiarity.
* Don't touch students.
* Don't comment on the physical attributes of students.
* Don't flirt with students.
* Don't tell off-color jokes.
* Don't joke with students about exchanging grades for favors of any sort.
http://swc2.hccs.edu/tannahill/html/news_items/sx_harad.html

4.4.1 Sexual harassment can take many forms and can include:

Some specific examples of inappropriate behaviors include:

* Negative or offensive comments, jokes about another employee's gender, race or sexual orientation or sexuality;

* Obscene or lewd sexual comments, jokes, or innuendos; Slang, names or labels such as "honey," "sweetie," "boy," "girl," that others find offensive;

* Talking about or calling attention to anther employee's body or sexual (NOTE: covered in next policy) characteristics in a negative or embarrassing way;

* Laughing at, ignoring or not taking seriously an employee who experiences harassment;

* Blaming the victims of harassment for causing the problem;

* Continuing unwanted attention after a co-worker has objected to that behavior;

* Displaying nude or sexual pictures, cartoons or calendars on any City property.
http://mrsc.org/PolicyProcedures/b67sexharrpol.aspx

Examples of Sexual Harassment

Verbal harassment:

* Sexual comments, jokes, gestures, noises, propositions.
* Cat calls or whistling in a demeaning manner with sexual overtones.
* Referring to an adult as "girl," "boy," "honey”, “sweetie”, or “babe”.
* Asking about sexual fantasies, preferences, or history.
* Making sexual comments about a person’s clothing, body, or looks.
http://www.mun.ca/sexualharassment/Definitions.html

Verbal Harassment

*

Use of any offensive or demeaning terms that have sexual connotations, including
those contained in jokes and humor.
*

Referring to an adult with sexual connotations (i.e. hunk, honey, sweetie, babe, doll,
etc.)
*

Making sexual comments about a person's body.
*

Turning work or educational discussion into sexual topics.
*

Telling sexual jokes or stories.
*

Asking or telling about sexual fantasies or history.
*

Making sexual comments about a person's clothing, anatomy or physical appearance.

http://www.lrc.edu/hr/handbook/rights.htm

[Liberal Veteran]

37. Yes, but the rules in a workplace enviroment aren't exactly the same are they?

If the rules for my interpersonal relationships outside the office were the same as work, I'd hire a large piece of machinery to pull the stick out of our collective asses.

[Bicoastal]

40. No, they're EXACTLY the same.

I'm firing my mom immediately.

[Liberal Veteran]

54. You should sue her for everything she has!

:D

[Bicoastal]

57. How can I?

I'm her most prized possession!

:rofl:

[2rth2pwr]

41. He is running for a position of power over all of us.

[Bicoastal]

45. Sue Obama for sexual harassment then. Because the woman who was called as such

sure isn't gonna.

[2rth2pwr]

47. She may even welcome it, it doesn't matter.

Dear HR Guy:

We have a problem with an employee voluntarily giving her boss a neck and shoulder message. Apparently, the people in the office (it's open floor plan with no private offices) are complaining abut her rubbing her breasts on his back and shoulders. Can this be actionable if neither participant complains, but everyone else finds it offensive?

Bobbie

http://www.vault.com/nr/newsmain.jsp?nr_page=3&ch_id=402&article_id=6564062&cat_id=1974
Dear Bobbie:

This is a clear cut case of sexual harassment. As sexual harassment has been found by the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) to be a form of sexual discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, you bet it is actionable!

Now you may be curious how it is that consensual behavior affecting a a third party can be considered sexual harassment. Well, the EEOC defines sexual harassment as "unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual harassment when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment." Furthermore, it explicity states that "the victim does not have to be the person harassed but could be anyone affected by the offensive conduct."

It is reasonable to conclude that the activity you described in your question is offensive to others and contributes to a hostile work environment. If you are bothered by what you see, I recommend that you either confront the people involved or speak with your supervisor or human resources representative immediately.

[Bicoastal]

59. WTF!

Why do you keep comparing an exchange between a politician and his supporter to two employees?! They're NOT. THE. SAME. THING!!

[Withywindle]

75. Yup. And this is America, and HE's the person interviewing for a job.

WE are his employers, not the other way around. (I can say that in the present tense because I'm an Illinoisan and he works for me already.) WE THE PEOPLE have the power to accept or reject his job application.

Also, being an Illinoisan I can say that Chicago we like to let our hair down and flirt a little sometimes. We're progressive but not always PC.

As a woman, I think Obama is a sweetie, a honey, a babe, and a studmuffin, and were I to be the sort who gets squealy at political events, he could call me "sweetie" and I'd never wash that ear again. (But I still disagree with him about gay marriage and I could tell him that in the next breath. Having the capacity to be playful doesn't mean you leave your brain at the door, and THAT assumption is what I find sexist and demeaning, not random terms of endearment that just about everybody except the serious stick-ass brigade uses at some time or another.)

[Liberal Veteran]

58. Be offended to your heart's discontent, (insert gender and racial term of dismissal here).

:rofl:

[2rth2pwr]

77. I'm not offended, but I am concerned about a chilling effect

and especially in an atmosphere created by his supporters, who will use ridicule

and worse on women who are bothered by this behavior.

[Forkboy]

79. Once again, you should talk to the woman who wrote the column about this.

She had no problem with a joke about someone older than her not being able to get raped.

Methinks what you really care about is anything you can find to paint Obama in a negative light, and you'll piggyback on any issue to do so.

[2rth2pwr]

82. If B*sh called your momma 'Sweetie", you would be happy?

[Forkboy]

83. You're grasping at straws Reager.

[Bicoastal]

80. Odd how the only people "offended" also happen to be vocal Hillary supporters.

[Forkboy]

85. They're not really offended, just desperate for anything to make Obama look bad.

Do you see a single one of them complaining about the woman who wrote the article starting all this? Bonnie Erbe once joked that Linda Chavez didn't need a gun because she couldn't get raped at her age. Naturally, that's just dandy, but "sweetie" gives the hypocrites the vapors. They're so sad it's almost embarrassing.

[cliffordu]

38. Right!

I rode my bicycle across the southern US a couple of years ago and ALL the women called me "darlin" or "sweetie" or "sugar".

I liked it, but then I'm just a misogynistic, sexist, sex deviant, perverted prevert, who just wants to be objectified.





:rofl:

[HockeyMom]

46. I didn't like it at 20 and wouldn't like it now

I've been called Senora a few times lately where I now live. Actually kinda like that one. It's a lot better than Mam, or Madam (I don't run a brothel).

[senseandsensibility]

48. I like it too.

I don't hear much of it around here, but the other day I called a business in Memphis and the man called me "darlin'" I could have chosen to be offended, and since I'm not Southern it did seem strange, but I liked it. It sounded friendly.

[LWolf]

52. I'm a late boomer woman

and I don't appreciate anyone calling me "sweetie." It can be, and is frequently, used in a condescending, sexist way.

That said, I don't know about Obama's statement one way or the other, and I don't care.

There are more substantive reasons to oppose Obama than that he called someone "sweetie," just as there are more substantive reasons to oppose HRC than her comment about her college "book bag."

[Pirate Smile]

55. You sound sane. Prepare to be attacked.

As a Gen X chick, I agree with you. :)

[Faygo Kid]

61. You got it, Toots!

I mean, Sweetie!

[murielm99]

64. This is getting stupid.

Calling someone sweetie depends on the context. That is all.

My boss should not call me sweetie. My husband can do that. I can call my children sweetie.

Years ago, I worked with a woman who called everyone "honey." It got so bad that behind her back, people started calling her "Beth-honey." (Her name was Beth).

Beth had a responsible job. She was likable. She was always dressed well, but not overdressed. Her hair was perfect.

I knew her well enough to know that she was deeply insecure. She had been an orphan raised in a series of foster homes.

Eventually she found out that people were calling her Beth-honey. In tears, she told me that she had a very hard time remembering peoples' names. Even when she had known someone for a long time, their name slipped from her otherwise sharp mind. She found a way to work on that problem. But she still called people honey quite often.

Of course not everyone who calls a person sweetie or honey is like Beth. But think about context. Was this sweetie thing really that terrible?

[housewolf]

72. Thanks for your post

You've definitely added a new dimension to the discussion.

Thank you!

:toast:

[Lena inRI]

88. Context yes indeed, and CULTURE. . .

. . .why just spend some time in Italy, for example, with my relatives.

"Carisssima Bella".. . .Dolcezza. . .tesoro (treasure)". . .and my favorite. . ."mia gioia (joy)!"

Simultaneously, you are hugged and kissed on each cheek. . .then, to confirm the emotive moment, a third smackaroon on the first kissed cheek. . .

.. . all this for just a greeting or farewell! Men or women, non importa!

Hooray for TACTILE CULTURES

. . . I easily adjust whenever over there and don't miss the neutrality, PC greetings over here at all!

As a matter of fact, I've been noticing more hugging goin' on among my circle of friends as they come back from trips to Europe. . .IT'S CONTAGIOUS. . .WATCH OUT.!

BTW, the Southerners I've known are way better at these endearment greetings than my New England compatriots. . .my fav from a Southern friend is

"BABY-CAKES"

.

So, CONTEXT and CULTURE make all the difference in the world. . .EMBRACE LIFE UNAFRAID!

:loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya:

[housewolf]

96. A wonderful post -

you're so right!

Sounds like you had a wonderful experience in Italy. It would be so great if more Americans could travel abroad.

Thanks for your post.

[hisownpetard]

105. The OP would have cardiac arrest in London, where every taxi driver and salesperson calls you "Luv."

[L0oniX]

70. Hey ...if Humphrey Bogart can say it in the movie The Desperate Hours.. can it be bad?

:hippie:

[LisaL]

89. I would not appreciate men at work calling me sweetie.

It's sexist and inappropriate.

[housewolf]

98. Suppose one of the men you worked with was a friend

and you organized or help organize a work-birthday party for him, decorated his cube or office, organized a pot luck lunch and brought in a cake. And suppose he was surprised and please that his friends at work wanted to help him celebrate his birthday. Then suppose at the end he came up to you and said "thanks, sweetie, you helped give me a great birthday and I appreciate it".

Is that sexist and inappropriate?

:shrug:


My point is this: it MAY be sexist and inappropriate to call someone "sweetie" or an other endearment and then again, it may not.

Now, you are perfectly within your rights to relate to any specific circumstance however you do... and certainly there are circumstances where calling someone "sweetie" or something similiar is motivated by a sexism - and it's your right and responsibility to inform the speaker that he is behaving inappropriate and you don't like it. But the word "sweetie" is not sexist and it is not sexist and inappropriate in all circumsntaces to call someone "sweetie", even in the work place.

I really wish we could get away from these blanket labels and judgements. Life just isn't black and white. Words like "sexist", "racist", and "inappropriate" are judgmental, demonizing words that pereptrate separation and divisiveness. It's one thing to take personal responsibility and say "I don't like it when..." and it something else entierely to say "it's sexist (or racist, or inappropriate, or dirty, etc." I wish we could all just own how we feel and not have to demonizing whatever it is that we don't like.


All that said, I do understand where you are coming from and with the frustration that comes with fighting a long battle over deeply ingrained societal mores such as sexism & racism.

Thanks for your post.

:toast:

[Left coast liberal]

90. Me too. And, I would certainly like it Obama called me sweetie! Wow, lucky girl.

[LisaL]

91. Typcial Obama supporter.

Figures.

[Raine]

92. I'm with you

I've certainly been called worse, I prefer sweetie, honey etc. to others I can think of.

[Raejeanowl]

93. No Flames, But I Think You're Partially Wrong

There are those who use terms like "sweetie" and "dearie" condescendingly or inappropriately. You tend to know based more upon the context and the general behavior of the person. I'll almost always relax myself if used by a contemporary in a casual situation.

However, stop and think when you're using it toward an older stranger of either gender rather than addressing them respectfully with Sir or Ma'am. Stop and think before you use it toward someone you privately consider your social inferior or professional junior. It's use just might be your (attempted) dominance signal, and it doesn't imply anything kind or complimentary.

[graywarrior]

94. Hey, I got whistled at the other day.

At my age, I dug it. 10 years ago, he would've gotten a "fuck you, asshole."

The older I get, the less stuff like that bothers me. Soldiers and innocent Iraqi's dying and the current administration tends to piss me off a little more.

[applegrove]

95. Me too. I'm a younger boomer woman and I love to be called sweetie.

In the town that I live locals usually use the word "hon". That works for me to.

[Catherine Vincent]

99. So do I.

It makes me feel extra sweet. :)

[sampsonblk]

100. Thanks, Sweetie

Men are still men, and women are still women. At some point, since we can't change that, some latitude ought to be allowed. That doesn't mean anyone should act like a pig, of course.

[eridani]

101. Depends on who's doing it, and why n/t

[Raejeanowl]

102. There You Go

You said it far more succinctly than I.

[ronnykmarshall]

106. Me too Sweeite.