You couldn't make it up (unless you're Hillary, that is)

[SoxFan]

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/opinion/article3571700.ece

[Hepburn]

1. "...Hillary Clinton has gone mental."

"Her response to being caught lying to a military audience, when she invented a story about being under sniper fire in Bosnia, was to say it wasn't surprising she got some things wrong, seeing how she spoke millions of words every day. What a magnificent idea, that if you say lots of words some of them are bound to be fantastic lies. So if you listen carefully to horse-racing commentators they say things like "And it's Teddy's Boy still leading three furlongs out as they come up to the fourth last fence with Nip and Tuck two lengths behind by the way I fought a tiger once, punched it clean out and they're all safely over."

~~From the article link in the OP.~~

:rofl:

[C_U_L8R]

8. Totally mental !!

those were my favorite bits .. I laughed out loud.
It's a bit like the Emperor's New Clothes.
Everyone here is too caught up in things to say it like it is..
"Hillary Clinton has gone mental"
Bwahahaha

[dkf]

2. oh my...that stings

[hedgehog]

3. "I've got a waffle-maker that works underwater."

Thanks - I needed that!

[izzybeans]

4. "My fellow Americans

I drank a pint of walrus milk once on a bet..."

:rofl:

[Shae]

5. incredibly funny read.

I don't think this Ms.Clinton has much credibility left.

"Her response to being caught lying . . . was to say it wasn't surprising she got some things wrong, seeing how she spoke millions of words every day. What a magnificent idea, that if you say lots of words some of them are bound to be fantastic lies. "

[pompano]

11. A million words a day....

and still a miracle away from winning the nomination?

I guess some people never get a hint?

"And they kawl us stew-pit"

:rofl:

[MindMatter]

17. I couldn't stop laughing

He has such a great command of sarcasm that he is able to deliver a really stinging indictment, never losing a smile. That is a real gift.

The example with the auctioneer is spot on. You just don't make up lies like that as a natural, unavoidable consequence of saying millions of words. You may get facts and names wrong here and there, but only a person going mental can slip into these stories as if they actually lived them. She really is not fully in contact with reality.

[Shae]

22. she should have dropped out a month ago

when she still had a shred of dignity and a career left.

[Cha]

24. hilary has been busted for lying on an international

stage and there will be on going reminders to guarentee this isn't going away.

What was she thinking?..we may never know but the shrink on the couch has his hands full with bush and hilarisms.

[Shae]

27. omg

Bushisms and now Hillarisms.

:rofl:

[WillyT]

30. Hilarisms ??? - ROFLMAO !!!

Perfect!!!

:yourock:

Question: Do we go with two "L's" for Hillary, or one "L" for hilarious???

:shrug:

:hi:

[Cha]

57. I go for the one l 'cause I've

shortened it.. what with having to write her name so much.:o

:hi:

[sandnsea]

6. Hysterical, my favorite...

"whether Thursday was the day you came under sustained mortar attack and had to dive behind sandbags and shoot your way out to safety, or was it the day you went to the dolphinarium."

:rofl:

[hedgehog]

7. Does Mr. Steel ever post on DU? If so, would he end up getting tomb stoned? nt

[SwampG8r]

9. my favorite part

she should use this on the stump
"My fellow Americans, I drank a pint of walrus milk once for a bet. I speak fluent Eskimo. I once ate all the gherkins in Belgium. My brother's got a yak in his loft. I fell asleep on a night bus once and woke up in Munich, and had to get a lift back on a camel. I used to live on an iceberg. I've got a waffle-maker that works underwater."

[crankychatter]

10. oh gawud i'm blowin snot

ty

[Yael]

12. Oh my word!

:rofl:

So her campaign team should book her in to speak to other professions to see what she comes out with. If she addresses lumberjacks she'll start, "Hey, that's a tough job you folks do. And I should know because I once spent two days dangling from a cedar tree. Then my chainsaw slipped and sawed me down the middle, but luckily my right half put my left half in a nearby freezer that kept it fresh until the doctor arrived to sew me back together. But hey, let's turn to the economy."

Maybe it's part of a pact. Her husband only seems reasonable now because the idiot that followed him is so much worse. So to even things up, as president she'll talk such twaddle that in a couple of years people start pining for Bush.

And the daft thing with Hillary is her real life is ridiculous enough. So when she ends up in a home, muttering "I've got the biggest peanut in the world. I sang backing vocals on 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'. I went right along the Great Wall of China in a wheelbarrow," the nurses will say "Poor old thing. This morning she was jibbering that her husband was president and had affairs in the back room and denied it but got caught cos he sploshed on an intern's dress. She's getting worse isn't she, it's such a shame.

Hill, babe -- its time to bow out. It isn't just us anymore. The WORLD is commenting on it...

[gateley]

13. Yeouch!

We think WE'RE dishing it to her!

[pompano]

14. Where do I squash....

the "recommend" button????

TIA

[Window]

15. Ouch!

Words do matter Hillary.

[Muttocracy]

16. we've had 7.5 years of other nations cringing at our leader

I'd like to at least start out with them not making fun of our president.

edit to add - this in particular struck me:

"But a Blair or Clinton is a politician with no purpose but their own standing, like celebrities who are nothing but celebrities. So they say whatever they feel will make them look best to the audience they're with, regardless of whether it's true, until they probably don't know themselves what's real and what's not."

[WillyT]

20. Yes !!! - That Was A Cutting Indictment !!!

Great point!

:hi:

[Cha]

25. Think of how that particular military audience

feels now..wonder what State that was in? Was that Waco?

[AZBlue]

18. Yeah, that's how you want other countries to view your Presidential candidates.

It's as embarassing as Bush.

[WillyT]

19. Oh... My... ROFLMAO !!!

THAT was brilliant!!!

:bounce::rofl::bounce:

:evilgrin:

[Rosa Luxemburg]

21. absolutely no purpose

[Cha]

23. This is fanbloodytastic!

"Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Traditionally, Democrat candidates for President start slightly radical, then try to reassure Conservative America, get in a tangle and look like idiots. But this time may be different, because Barack Obama has stuck by his friend the militant preacher, refusing to disown him, and Hillary Clinton has gone mental.

Her response to being caught lying to a military audience, when she invented a story about being under sniper fire in Bosnia, was to say it wasn't surprising she got some things wrong, seeing how she spoke millions of words every day. What a magnificent idea, that if you say lots of words some of them are bound to be fantastic lies. So if you listen carefully to horse-racing commentators they say things like "And it's Teddy's Boy still leading three furlongs out as they come up to the fourth last fence with Nip and Tuck two lengths behind by the way I fought a tiger once, punched it clean out and they're all safely over."

[HCE SuiGeneris]

26. It's Penelope/Hillary/ Goddess/Liar

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2860855320839977330&q=New+tenant+Penelope&total=2&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

[Forkboy]

28. "the dolphinarium"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[boppers]

29. It's 3 am. My brother's got a yak in his loft.

:rofl:

[WillyT]

31. ROFLMAO Again !!!

Best thread of the night!!!

And your post...

:yourock:

[Ichingcarpenter]

32. The Irish have the Gift of Gab and so does O'bama

Stephen Neill, a local Anglican rector, said church documents he has found, along with census, immigration and other records tracked down by U.S. genealogists, appear to show that Obama's great-great-great-grandfather, Fulmuth Kearney, was reared in Moneygall, then left for America in 1850, when he was 19.



Baptism and probate records linking the family line back to Moneygall have been unearthed with the assistance of Canon Stephen Neill in the Templeharry Rectory records, which until recently were stored in a parishioner’s home.

“This research will once and for all put to rest any perceptions that Barack Obama is a first generation American, said Megan Smolenyak, Chief Family Historian for Ancestry.com. “Like most of us he has an interesting mix of ancestry, including some impressively early all-American roots.”

Researchers initially thought that Obama’s third great-grandfather, Falmouth Kearney, who sailed from Ireland to New York in 1850 at 19-years-old, was the only member of the family to emigrate. However, records reveal that other Kearney family members had in fact been in America since the 1790s.

One ancestor, Falmouth’s paternal uncle, Francis, had in fact bequeathed land to his brother, Falmouth’s father Joseph, with the condition that he emigrate in order to inherit. He did so along with his wife Phebe and four children, including Falmouth, although at various times in the mid-19th Century.


Great bit of Irish humor
thanks to the submitter in the OP.

[hedgehog]

34. Off-topic, but it seems that we Irish are trying to claim Obama as

one of our own. Is this something unique to the Irish?

[Oilwellian]

35. I wouldn't say we're "trying" to claim him

I'm assuming his mother has an Irish heritage which means Obama does as well. There's no need to "try"and claim him....he already is.

To the OP, great post and funny read. The cutting tongue of the Irish is something to behold. :D

[Scurrilous]

33. K & R

:thumbsup:

[BlueIdaho]

36. Fuckin' Hilarious!

"What a magnificent idea, that if you say lots of words some of them are bound to be fantastic lies."

I've always admired the Irish and their way with words.

[Swamp Rat]

37. "I've got the biggest peanut in the world."

:rofl:

[WillyT]

38. Kick !!!

:kick:

[Political Heretic]

39. This paragraph says it all.

Because someone who routinely lies like she does, then dismisses it as a consequence of the number of words she says has severe psychological problems. Perhaps her disorder is a result of the sort of politician she is. Like Blair, neither she nor Bill stand for anything – priding themselves in being tied to no "ideology". So a normal politician might set out with a set of principles, then lie as they compromise and betray them. But a Blair or Clinton is a politician with no purpose but their own standing, like celebrities who are nothing but celebrities. So they say whatever they feel will make them look best to the audience they're with, regardless of whether it's true, until they probably don't know themselves what's real and what's not.

[jakem]

40. brilliant encapsulation of clintons campaign...

T"hree-fifty, three-sixty, three-seventy, three-seventy man in the hat three-eighty here, my dad invented cornflakes, going once going twice, and magnets, he invented them straight up – gone."

[guruoo]

41. "I invented the internet"

:sarcasm:

[DevonRex]

42. LOL! Bookmarked this

so I can read it again later. Wow, did he hit the nail on the head or what?

Poor old thing, she IS getting worse.

[JayFredMuggs]

43. Brilliant summary of Hillary's "career" nt

[ThisIsOurCountry]

44. This is a keeper!!

I'm filing it away in my bookbag.

I guess she really does think words are cheap.

[SoxFan]

45. To enhance your DU experience:

My brother's suggestion:

Read this article out loud in an Irish brogue.

Brilliant!

[Apollo11]

46. Except that Mark Steel is from England (south London)

Mark Steel is a talented writer and comedian, as well as being an admirer of Marx and Trotsky.

Steel's column is originally published in the London-based daily newspaper THE INDEPENDENT.

You can find it here: www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/mark-steel

[SoxFan]

47. Well, damn

Read it in an English accent, in that case.

Actually, this is just a lame excuse to keep the article kicked...

[hedgehog]

48. Kick for the Monday crowd.

[VotesForWomen]

49. more 'tone changing' from O-ists, I see. you're really representing for your boy, aren't you? nt

[redqueen]

51. It's supposed to be funny.

[SoxFan]

52. "Your boy"?

Care to rethink that particular turn of phrase?

[paulk]

50. typical hit piece from a right wing rag

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belfast_Telegraph

and typical of the Hillary haters to not only post it but roll around it

kind of like a dog rolls around in a fresh pile of shit.

[SoxFan]

53. FAIL

"I've done weekly columns in Socialist Worker, the Guardian and the Independent. There was a book called 'Vive le Revolution', and I've been on various panel shows like Have I Got News For You and QI, and on Room 101, and on Question Time I got very confused when I insulted a member of the Tory shadow cabinet, and afterwards he said I was splendid and invited me for a drink. And I've spoken at lots of demonstrations and union meetings and protests, and appeared at quite a few benefits, and yet capitalism still seems to rule the world. Maybe I'm a jinx."

http://www.marksteelinfo.com/about/default.asp

[paulk]

54. in the end there's very little difference between left wing

kooks and right wing kooks.

and the newspaper in question is a right wing rag.

[SoxFan]

55. In one regard, that is correct

[WillyT]

56. Kick !!!

:kick: