One and One and One Is Three -- Should Rodney King Speak at the DNC?

[Youphemism]

With sincere apologies to The Beatles and your sensibilities...

Here Comes Ol' Flat-Top -- He Come Groovin' Up Slowly

The question is not whether the following scenario is believable -- because it isn't. The question is whether the current campaign might achieve the same result, just as if it had been diabolically planned from the start. Just try to suspend your disbelief for a moment. Don't let me down.

Imagine all the Democrats -- it's not easy, even if you try -- working together as one. In order to make this exercise a little easier to swallow, let's say Hillary Clinton has somehow been bribed to stay in the race. They gave her everything money could buy.

Try to see it my way: a fight between Hillary and Barack seems to have the entire Democratic party gnashing its teeth. We voters only see people standing there who disagree and never win. The calls keep going out: "This fighting is horrible! It threatens to ruin the party! I read the news today -- oh boy!"

During this fight, both Democrats are raising money and getting their faces on national TV. They have all the media attention. Even though a fair amount of that attention is negative, it's getting all their laundry out in the open -- especially the laundry of the "unvetted" frontrunner. So much so, that by the time the national election comes around, the accusations have been flowing like endless rain into a paper cup; people have heard it all and they're sick of it. All these memories lose their meaning.

Meanwhile, both candidates raise record amounts of money and using it to travel here, there, and everywhere, to spread their message: "I'll give you anything my friend, if it makes you feel alright." They throw major events as the Republican candidate takes it relatively easy and, when he does campaign, gets little notice in the media. They ask us for a contribution, and raise $100 million to get Democrat faces on TV in states the Republican candidate may not have time or money to visit. (Christ, you know it ain't easy.)

As all of this happens, more and more new voters keep registering in each of the contested states, so they can have their say in this hotly contested fiasco. Eventually, the party amasses record numbers of new registered Democrats, many of them formerly Republicans. Rush Limbaugh, the man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud, and his toadies are so taken in by this show -- it's certainly a thrill -- they cry "Help!" to their audience, enlisting minions to register as Democrats and vote for Hillary.

Never indicating precisely what they mean to say, the pundits flail about and bloviate, suggesting a myriad of absurdities, largely ignoring the deck that is being stacked right in front of them. As the Republicans lick their chops and prepare to shoot off the legs of their rival, some Democrats say to others, "Oh, this is such a terrible thing for our party! End this fight soon, or our candidates will wind up in that briar patch. Please, just let it be!" In actuality, nothing is real. There's nothing to get hung about.

Was this craziness actually plotted, deep in the secret bowels of the Howard Dean's party? Of course not. But planned or not, the final winning maneuver is possibly the hardest one to swallow: Now that they've gotten themselves tossed into that briar patch, can the Democrats come together?

[RaleighNCDUer]

1. Well, if it was all planned, it would be nice to let us in on it --

it might cut down on the bloodshed.

EDIT:

And Welcome to DU.