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One big honkin’ loaf-brick-thing of Velveeta. (Sixteen ounces? Thirty-two? Whatever. You know the one I mean.)
One can of Ro-Tel diced tomatoes and green chiles.
Half a pound of Jimmy Dean original recipe pork sausage.
One medium yellow onion, diced.
One big poblano chile, diced finely.
Two jalapeño chiles, diced finely.
One habañero chile, minced.
Melt the cheese very slowly in a cast-iron dutch oven. Brown the sausage in a cast-iron skillet until rendered into crispy little bits that are deep brown, but not black. Add the sausage to the cheese pot with a slotted spoon, leaving the fat in the skillet.
Add the can of tomatoes and chiles to the cheese pot, juice and all.
Add the onion to the skillet along with a heavy pinch of salt. Sweat until the onion is translucent. Add the chiles to the skillet and get out of the way, unless you wanna spend the rest of the night running around clawing at your eyes and nostrils screaming “OH GOD IT BURNS.”
After just a couple of minutes, add everything from the skillet to the pot. Stir.
Best. Queso. Ever.
Clean the dutch oven and the skillet by scraping them as clean as possible and then putting them in an oven set to self-clean. Bake at a thousand degrees for three hours. When done, allow branding irons to cool in the oven overnight. In the morning, blow the ashes off, coat with a thin layer of vegetable oil, and repeat.
Oh, god, that’s good stuff.
:toast:
Oh yeah, and the song is waaaay cheeeeesy tooooo!
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