Hillary Clinton's Top Ten list, revealed!!!

[sniffa]

Barack Obama, in his most recent appearance on CBS' "Late Show with David Letterman," gave viewers a Top Ten list of surprising facts about himself (our favorite: "In the Illinois primary, I accidentally voted for Kucinich.").

Hillary Clinton gets to give the list tonight (as nice little bit of exposure, as we previously noted, right before voters head to the polls Tuesday in Indiana and North Carolina), and she'll be elaborating on the reasons she loves America.

For those who con't be up or have other late night viewing habits, here they are:

10. We have more Dakotas than every other country combined.

9.Canadian bacon: soggy and chewy; American bacon: crisp and delicious!

8. Thanks to the Internet, I can order new pantsuits 24/7 - there's your pantsuit joke, Dave. Are you happy now?

7. 232 years and not one cookie shortage.

6. TiVo

5. Did I mention the soup? Mmm, soup.

4. Did you know former President Teddy Roosevelt was an American?

3. Where else can you get a car painted for $29.95?

2. Is this the part where I say, "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"?

1. Apparently anyone can get a talk show.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/05/hillary-clint-5.html

[Faygo Kid]

1. Admittedly pretty funny.

Barack's were, too.

McCain's were pretty lame, though.

[sniffa]

5. Eh, I thought McCain played to his strengths

:D

[bridgit]

2. n/t

[bunnies]

3. I PREFER soggy and chewy.

Just saying. Crisp and rigid SUCKS!

[sniffa]

4. I call bullshit

Crispy and almost burnt is the American way.

[bunnies]

6. ack!

I challenge you to a dual. My bacon must flop over when I attempt to hold it horizontal.

Only communists like stiff bacon... Is that you, Stiffa?

The bacon must flop! Heed my words or else.

[sniffa]

7. That's been debunked

Everyone knows that Canadians are commie, pinkos and their floppy bacon (or ham as it would be called down here in Real America) is a Communist infiltration front.

[hogwyld]

8. Sounds like the Canadians need

viagra added to their bacon to get rid of the "flops". Manly American bacon is always stiff and ready to go!:rofl:

[Bucky]

9. I used to work for a Pizza Hut. The best advice I can give you is NO CANADIAN BACON!

In case you're worried I'm a bigot, let me assure you--Canadian bacon is neither Canadian nor truly bacon. It's the food world's equivalent of the observation that the Holy Roman Empire wasn't holy, Roman, nor even an empire. Canadian bacon is a cut and a denomination entirely native to the United States and is nothing but the lean ovoid cut out of the full bacon slice and then (and please excuse me while I mentally dry heave at the very mention of this) scoured by cornmeal. It is an obination unto every dietary law known to man.


Crisp and rigid is bad in a dance partner. In pig flesh, it is perfection soaked in grease.