I'm really tired of...

[beezlebum]

...getting repeated massive guilt trips for not liking hillary- and sometimes, i actually do feel kinda bad, even though i feel my reasoning is pretty damned solid.
...being told i'm a self hating female/not feminist because i didn't support her.
...being told my male friends are sexist because they didn't support her.
...being told i have to prove what's so great about obama.
...being told that obama is not going to change anything, that i'm wasting my time.
...being told that i might as well vote for mccain.
...being asked, repeatedly, if i would vote for hillary if it were she winning, not obama.

and then being told that perhaps i should take a break from politics when i get exasperated...

now, i know, this is almost as good as those "i'm not supporting ________ because his/her supporters suck!!!11!" threads, but bear with me.

i have waited for the better part of a decade for this election. i was 20 years old in 2000, and it was the VERY FIRST presidential election i took part in, and i gleefully voted for al gore- i can say with honesty and with absolutely no shame that i had never been more proud.

the terrible disillusion i suffered, the blow my young trusting heart took as i watched it slip away, and watched our country slip into hegemony and militarism devastated me. i dwelled in a cynical sort of purgatory for quite some time, often confused and unsure of what i believed.

on one hand the experience has been a good thing. i'm not so naive, i learned to look past sparkling eyes and a gleaming smile, to listen through the promises and read between the lines, to be skeptical when someone tells me to be afraid, or to take comfort.

but on the other hand, i've found it difficult to even trust obama, or john edwards, or anyone for that matter. i find myself wondering if my vote matters at all, and sometimes, i'm convinced that it's all rigged, it's a big joke, the powers that be and all that, and that's depressing and devastating.

it's devastating because of how much of my life i dedicate to politics. and i dedicate so much because i believe that taking a part in politics is taking care of your world, of your people, of your surroundings, of your environment.

it means that i want my neighbors to be as successful as i am becoming and more, it means i want my children and their peers to grow to have opportunities and happiness and the supposed american dream, it means i want to be a part of improving the world beyond the borders of this country, that i want to be a part of peace.

i started out this political campaign for kucinich, and then john edwards. i was a bit crushed when they dropped out, but gradually and reluctantly got behind the next best thing. now it's no longer with reluctance, because

i am sick and goddamned tired of...
...war.
...lies
...manipulation.
...fearmongering.
...obfuscation.
...a sadistic neocon republican being in the white house.

just sayin!
peace!!

[keep_it_real]

1. Be strong, you're backing the person who is best for the nation

Obama; they will see in the end.

[emilyg]

2. I'm tired of being called a racist.

[democrattotheend]

3. Who's called you a racist?

We've had a few racist posters on this site, but I've never considered you to be one of them.

[emilyg]

5. I got a pm from a regular poster - very vile.

[beezlebum]

4. fair enough, emilyg,

i want to move past it. I know that hillary is not ready to end her bid, and I sympathize with her supporters who choose to carry on as well.

while i'm a tired on the surface of being called anti-feminist, at the core of my being, i am exhausted of the latter items mentioned, and am eager to get to that stage of the game- i think it explains my frustration and exasperation more than my irritation with clinton itself.