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Dear Senator Clinton, Your application for employment has been declined. However

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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 09:57 PM
Original message
Dear Senator Clinton, Your application for employment has been declined. However
Repeatedly, in ad naseum Senator Clinton has implored audiences to treat this just like a hiring decision. I always thought it an odd construct to inspire crowds. Its kind of like saying I want you to consider a contribution to my campaign like a payment to the IRS. I mean who enjoys being interviewed or interviewing for a job?

Nevertheless since it has become the most frequently repeated part of her stump speech we should take the hint and communicate with her in her own frame of reference:


Dear Senator Clinton,

We write to tell you that we have declined your application in the job you applied for. Quite honestly if you asked us twelve or even six months ago very few of the board would have thought that we would be writing you this letter. Your employment campaign was vigorous and energetic but we found that it had a confused message and many different messages depending whether you were talking to board members in California or West Virginia; Rupert Murdoch or the NAACP.

In all truthfulness however the fault goes beyond your uneven campaign and ironically lies in the incumbent chief executive that now holds the office. The performance of the current leadership has driven the value of our corporate entity so low that it caused the board to think that more than a leadership change was needed.

Frankly the situation has gotten so bad that we feel that we don't need simply a better CEO but that we need a new direction for the company, a new historical paradigm. We cannot wait. Not only is January 20th too late, yesterday was too late. Unfortunately our attorneys tell us that the legal procedures required to speed up the process could actually backfire and undermine our ability to bring in a new administration. We are convinced however that the problems we face require a more urgent response that requires us to engage a larger constituency than the board, we need to recruit more customers. Already we have achieved remarkable success in bringing more than 1.5 million new suppliers onboard.

Therefore we have decided to decline your application.
Your application was very impressive, and we were very surprised at the number of references you started the process with. Unfortunately, as you are aware, there were certain 'enhancements' in the resume that were check out and found to be untrue.

While the decision of the board was relatively close a sizeable majority chose another candidate and our opinion is definitive and final.

However because you have made such a strong impact on a minority of the board, and we value their opinion we would like to encourage you to apply for the number two position. In some ways the number 2 position is more difficult than the CEO. You must have all of the skills for the CEO position but you must also be the consumate team leader. You might be interested to know that the last two Vice-CEOs have had completely different experiences with one becoming one of the world's most important people and the other one of the world's most disgraceful losers. Of course should you be the next Vice-CEO over the next 8 years (baring a hostile take over from our main competitors) then you would be a prime candidate for the CEO position at that time.

The examination period for this position has started tonight. We are willing to set aside the performance for the CEO position and have a fresh look. We will be looking at your ability to unite disparate board members and not 'balkanizing' them. You will be judged on your ability to harmonize your message with that of the incoming CEO. The policy differences were not substantial but the general strategy and tactics of engaging the board is different and will require some adaptation on your part. We will be watching.

While the full board will have some say in the selection of the Vice-CEO position the decision will be made by the incoming CEO. If you wish to corespond with him you can oontact him at;

Incoming CEO
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, IL 60680

We wish you luck in the future and would like to see you part of the new team that we are assembling.


Sincerly

The Board




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maddiejoan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:00 PM
Response to Original message
1. Uhm
Edited on Tue May-13-08 10:01 PM by maddiejoan
" I mean who enjoys being interviewed or interviewing for a job?"


actually --I do.

seriously. I really do!
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. well which is it interviewing or being interviewed?
and if the interview does not go well is their spanking involved?
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maddiejoan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:08 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. I enjoy both actually.
but I enjoy a nice spanking more than either.
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:17 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. were goint to have to stop meeting like this
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-14-08 01:48 AM
Response to Reply #4
12. it slipped over into another thread
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AllentownJake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:20 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. God
I was in a leadership development program for 4 years and we had to re-interview for our jobs every year with 6-8 people.

I could interview in my sleep.

Still hate it though.
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. I used to do 15 interviews every Saturday
I could never understand how it got into the stump speech
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tammywammy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-14-08 10:43 AM
Response to Reply #1
16. Glutton for punishment Maddie





;)


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Schema Thing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
3. hehheh, he said "balkanize".
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:32 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. it took me a while lol - totally unintentional lol
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Willo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:26 PM
Response to Original message
8. Some basic qualifications she failed
Leadership skills
Management skills
Team player

Often, the negative things her peers would mention is that she is divisive and polarizing.
I've been thinking about that a lot this week. Particularly the polarizing part.
Watching the life of that word unfold is both horrifying and astounding.


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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 10:35 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. yes but part of the board is adamant she be given a try
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-13-08 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
11. Good night
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goclark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-14-08 08:21 AM
Response to Reply #11
13. Good morning and K ~ I would not hire her ever
I always hire people that the team can depend on.

We continue to be surprised when this "loyal employee" of the Democratic Party switches in mid stream and praises the other team.

Can you imagine a member of a football team saying,"I love the experience of our opponent, our quarterback only can throw to the left."

America needs a leader that can be depended on to say the right thing, on our behave, all the time.

So far, Barack Obama has never disappointed me with his ability to stay positive and stay on message for the Democratic Party.
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BigDDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-14-08 09:15 AM
Response to Original message
14. Dear Board,
We'll make that decision for ourselves.

Love,
Voters

P.S. The "Board" really should learn how to spell sincerely.
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-14-08 10:39 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. somtims the 'e' gts lazy
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