NY Times: A Plan For Clinton Victory

[JFN1]

NY Times columnist Gail Collins put together a list of things that can bring victory to Hillary Clinton against Barack Obama. A Clinton primary victory, given the completion of the list below, is totally possible.

So if Clinton wants to win, here's all that needs to happen:

1) A big, big win in Kentucky next Tuesday. Ideally, Obama should be limited to no more than 100 votes.

2) Oregon, scheduled for the same day, inexplicably breaks off and sinks into the Pacific Ocean.

3) Puerto Rico, clocking in on June 1, not only gives Clinton a huge majority, but also manages to become a state in advance of the vote.

4) Finally, on June 3 as the South Dakota polls open, Thomas Jefferson’s head on Mount Rushmore comes to life and starts shouting, “You go, girl.”

As you see, a Clinton victory is not completely beyond the realm of possibility. And as Ms. Collins points out:

An ambitious scenario, true. But nothing less than we’ve come to expect from the most hard-working political family in American history.

So you see, a Clinton victory can happen...! :P

[Waya]

1. ROFL......

Nothing's impossible, I guess.......

[pbca]

2. Ohhh...I wondered what Hillary meant when

she said 'Puerto Rico should be counted as a state, when they voted the obviously believed they were a state'...now it makes sense.

[AtomicKitten]

3. I can see it now!

Well, Obama registered ZERO votes in 90+ precincts in New York including Harlem, so I can totally see him garnering 100 votes in Kentucky but only if he panders really, really hard by promising them all sparkly ponies.

[Kaylee]

4. Hilarious essay!

(The correct response to her 67-to-26-percent victory in West Virginia, by the way, is supposed to be: “Well, isn’t it nice she’s having a good moment. And so close to Mother’s Day.”)


....Nobody who wanted her to stop running would ever say, “It’s too hard.” Hillary loves impossible obstacles. If you were trying to be genuinely persuasive, you’d go with something like: “Look, keep spending like this and you and Bill will be down to your last 401(k) by July.”

:rofl:

[JFN1]

5. LOL!

Now that's funny!!