A Return to Normalcy - Democratic Underground

NanceGreggs

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Sat May-17-08 08:50 PM
Original message

A Return to Normalcy

As the roller-coaster ride that has become DU over the past several months comes to its inevitable end, the signs of a return to normalcy will be evident, as per …

Threads entitled “The Math” will only contain information about how far down in the polls McCain is at any given point in time.

Thread titles that refer to “counting SDs” will be about the latest census in South Dakota.

The term “kool-aid drinkers” will again be applied to Republicans only, and the terms “latte drinkers” and “Birkenstock wearers” will again apply to people who drink said beverage and wear said footwear, respectively.

The term “bitch” will be used only in its appropriate context (i.e. in reference to a female dog and/or Ann Coulter).

Independence Day will be observed on its traditional July 4th date, but will also be celebrated again on Election Day, after the votes are in.

The phrase “Divided Party” will refer to Inauguration Day festivities being held at your house in the afternoon, to be continued at your neighbor’s house in the evening.

References to “counting the votes in FL and MI” will be related to awaiting the results from those states on Election Day.

The names “Hillbot” and “Obamabot” will refer to the twins that Mr. and Ms. GrovelBot are expecting later this year. (The babes should be interrupting your DU experience by the spring of 2009, with their incessant cries for money.)

The “Waaaaahmbulance” will no longer be asked to respond to DU emergency calls. However, it is expected to be extremely busy answering calls from the McCain campaign on a regular basis.

The “kitchen sink” will revert to being a household necessity, and any and all such discussion threads about said item will go back to their rightful place in the Home Repairs (Plumbing) forum. (For those unaware that such a DU forum exists, you can find it by searching the term “How is this God-damned %#*&^ thing supposed to work?”)

The terms “Democratic nominee” and “future POTUS” will become interchangeable.

Threads entitled “These lyin’ assholes are just ignoring the facts” will be reinstated as a epithet hurled at the MSM rather than fellow Democrats.

The phrase “the other side” will be used only in respect of the GOP.

Threads that quickly devolve into replies entitled “You don’t know what you’re talking about” and “You’re just making shit up” will be confined to Lounge discussions about possible scenarios for the last episode of “Lost”.

The term “thrown under the bus” will only appear in the Environment forum, in discussions about the growing litter problem in major US cities.

The phrase “unity ticket” will denote that all Democrats are unified behind whoever is on the Democratic ticket!

The number of Mod suicides will drop dramatically.

After months of over-use, the Ignore function will go back to collecting dust.

The :mad: emoticon will be replaced by the :grouphug: emoticon, literally and figuratively.

The Admins will still be asking for money to fund their lavish lifestyles, cover the expenses on their Italian villas, and pay for the taxes on their yachts (okay, so not everything will change.)