How should I respond to a very good friend

[muffin1]

who is a Hillary supporter? This person is a very dear friend of mine, and we've recently reconciled after 5 years of not speaking to each other.
He stands up for her no matter what she says or does. Even this assassination comment didn't sway him. I told him at the very least, it was a poor choice of words (I think it was much more calculating than that). He said, "I don't think it was a poor choice of words, either. She was just pointing out how long primaries take."
Is there anything I can say that will not cause another rift in our friendship?

[polichick]

1. Just agree to disagree - a "very dear friend" is something to cherish.

[muffin1]

4. You're probably right,

it's just that he usually brings stuff up by saying, "Can you believe what the media is trying to do to her?". I usually do just nod my head, but I feel so disingenuous.

[polichick]

12. I know how hard it is cuz my in-laws are all Republicans...

Maybe you could just say that you see it very differently so you'll have to agree to disagree. That way you can be honest and still avoid a fight.

[calmblueocean]

2. If he'll vote for Obama in the general, why push it?

It's hard for people to see sometimes when their candidate is in the wrong. No need to make an enemy out of a friend over this. You can just agree to disagree, and talk about how bad McCain is. :)

[Bobbieo]

5. Talk about the weather - Anything but politics!!!

[muffin1]

7. I WILL give that to him

he will definitely vote Obama in the GE if that's the way it goes (which it will!):)

[Garbo 2004]

3. Agree to not discuss politics if your friendship is so fragile that it cannot

withstand disagreement. You won't convince him, he won't convince you. So why pursue it if the friendship is more important than an argument over intent, etc.

[Higher Standard]

6. Sometimes certain topics should be avoided

I've got friends who are really good people, but, politically, they are heavily right-wing, in some case Limbaugh-following dittoheads. The few times politics have come up, I've heard lots of things come out of their mouths that I vehemently disagree with, but could not change their minds on in a million years. We've just come to a silent understanding that the topic of politics is one where we are polar opposites, so we don't bring it up when we're around each other.

Obviously I'm not trying to compare your friend to dittoheads, just making the point that sometimes it's best to just avoid some topics of disagreement as long as those topics aren't a significant part of your relationship.

[muffin1]

9. WOW!

I really admire that. I used to have a dittohead for a boss - the 2004 election was no fun, to say the least.
Welcome to DU, by the way!:hi:

[billyoc]

8. Lie to your friend. Say that it's possible she might win and she'd make a good President.

It's not and she wouldn't, but it's irrelevant what I, you, or your friend think at this late date.

:hi:

[muffin1]

11. Thanks, billyoc!

When all else fails, lie! We are soon to be in the GE, anyway.:hi:

[Swamp Rat]

10. Drop political topics for a while.

Ask him politely to refrain from pursuing the subject for a few weeks. ;)

[muffin1]

15. Thanks, Swamp Rat

Let me also say that I do more browsing than posting on DU, and every one of your posts are quite thoughtful (and thought provoking). And your artwork is something to behold. I've been wanting to tell you this for quite some time.:toast:

[Swamp Rat]

16. Thanks!

:hug:

[mrreowwr_kittty]

13. Just remember that you're both Democrats and agree to disagree. nt

[anigbrowl]

14. Don't talk about. It's not your reponsibility to change her mind.

[CitizenLeft]

17. me and my best friend...

...an ex-Republican-now-Independent-voted-for-Kerry is strongly pro-Hillary. I had to say "maybe we shouldn't talk about politics until we have a nominee." She'll vote for Obama, she's always said, but until then... I can't talk to her about politics. But we talk about everything else, and are still friends. That might be the best way to approach it.

[dsomuah]

18. You gotta realize ...

That you are stretching a little bit by suggesting Hillary wants to assasinate Obama. I'm an Obama supporter but I read her original words, and I didn't get that. She made verbal typo. Let's move on.


And BTW Obama 08.

Have you signed up as a volunteer yet? If not sign up.

[muffin1]

25. I never once suggested

that she wanted Obama assassinated. I DO think that she was giving a "wink-nudge" that sometimes things happen, and that is why she is staying. Hillary is very smart, indeed. And I believe everything that comes out of her mouth is measured and calculated. It wasn't a verbal typo - she has, in fact, said the same thing three times. For some reason it was picked up this time by the media.
Oh, and welcome to DU.:)

[Perry Logan]

19. Call her a racist. Works every time.

[mudesi]

20. Get new friends (nm)

[marions ghost]

21. ask these questions...

Does he ever ask you about your candidate?
If he asks you about your candidate, does he listen & discuss politely?
If you asked him not to talk about politics, would he respect that?
Do you always feel a little defensive around him on the subject?

If you have problems with any of these kinds of questions, consider that his approach might be passive-aggressive and you shouldn't put up with it. Avoidance of politics is one reasonable way to deal with that passive-aggressive scenario if you can't get to kidding or bantering rather than clashing. Not everybody has the chutzpah to spar on an equal level. If it's not possible to feel positive with him on the subject of politics, don't give him an opening.

Here's a little story, more extreme than your situation but makes the point. My elderly Dad is still quite a dynamo and nobody's push-over. He's a lifetime liberal Dem--shocked his Republican family by voting for Kennedy way back when. Anyway all his life his R relatives (business types) have baited him on politics. They just get a kick out of ribbing the family renegade. My Dad is not all that big a debater so rather he uses creativity and just makes it a joke every time they try it. One time one of the mischievous cousins waltzed up and said, "So...I hear you're a Li-ber-ral" ...with a John Wayne sneer (in those years when 'Liberal' was something like Leper). So Dad didn't miss a beat and said "hell no, Dave...you know I'm not just a liberal, I'm a raving Radical Liberal!" Laughter & immediate change of subject. Dad continues to keep up with them and he loves them dearly. But he would not agree to be their cat-toy.

In other words, don't be intimidated. But don't engage if it's only one-sided. Find other common ground.

[Raine]

22. Don't let a good friend go because of politcs

especially when you're both Democrats. I let a good friend go (a repug) because of politics and since our falling out she died. I think what a stupid petty thing for me to have done and now I have to live with the regret. :-(

[muffin1]

23. I'm so sorry, Raine.

Thanks for your input. My friend and I don't argue about the primaries, I just let him have his way and I guess I just feel disingenuous most of them time. Small price to pay for friendship, eh?:hug:

[Crunchy Frog]

24. Maybe the two of you should agree to not talk politics.

[Robyn66]

26. Just stay away from politics for awhile

My in-laws are Republicans. And I have some friends I never agree with politically so we just stay away from the subject. If you have other things in common its not worth the pain.

[quakerboy]

27. When someone has backed themselves

into a corner, all you can do is stand back and wait for them to come out. And try not to block any potential exits.

[LWolf]

28. Yes. There are plenty of things you can say.

You can leave religion and politics off the table, agree to disagree, and explore the entire universe full of other topics that would make interesting, engaging conversation.

Does someone have to support your candidate to earn your friendship?

[muffin1]

31. Of course not.

It's just hard to put my true feeling aside. I don't want to rock the boat, but I feel like a liar sometimes. I want to tell him to wake up, but he feels so strongly about her. Anyway, at this point in the evening, I am posting while drinking. Thanks for your input.:)

[LWolf]

33. You're welcome, of course.

:toast:

Daily I have the same frustration with people who feel so strongly about Obama. I'm not pleased with either of the two current candidates, and want to point out that Obama's agenda seems very different from that of his supporters. That, of course, falls on deaf ears.

I gave up during the GE in 1992, trying to break through my mother's inexplicable adoration of Bill Clinton. She still feels that way today.

I love her anyway.

Emotion trumps logic every time. When someone feels that strongly, for or against a candidate, there is really nothing anyone can say to change their minds.

[slinkerwink]

29. When I was talking about the Hindenberg, I clearly was talking about the fabric of the balloon

The length of the primary season doesn't even make sense when you slip in that assassination remark. Hillary was talking about Bill, and then boom, there was the assassination remark about RFK.

[otohara]

30. Both Statements Were Not Entirely True

especially the RFK statement - he had only gotten in the race 6 weeks prior to CA primary. But it sounds like your friend isn't interested in whole truth. He probably doesn't like math much either, or keeping one's word.

[muffin1]

32. He tells me that neither one of them

has the math, and that she has a case for the superdelegates - e.g.,that she is winning all of the "big states", and she has the blue collar voters. That is probably true for now, but we haven't even started the GE against McStain. He (my friend) wants everything to move forward, including a redo in Florida and MIchigan. Frankly, after watching "Recount" this evening, I'm inclined to agree with (at least) that part of his argument.

[JVS]

34. tell him he's fucked in the head. then punch him

[muffin1]

39. LOL

:hi:

[susankh4]

35. Maybe it's time to accept that his perspective is as valid as yours???

What's wrong with that?

[Warren Stupidity]

36. Talk about McCain?

Talk about the importance of ending 8 years of awful misrule?

[Marrah_G]

37. Remind yourself that you are both Democrats

Then realize that the primary will be over soon. Then you will both be cheering for the same person.

Is a difference of opinion over which Democrat will make the best President REALLY worth losing a friendship over?

[zulchzulu]

38. This too shall pass...

I know a few people who support Hillary Clinton as well as others who support George Bush at this point. I just don't talk politics if it goes into people being bitter or making it too much of an issue.

Political dialogue can be fine if people are doing it in a civil fashion and preferably with an open mind.