Two Comments about Palin, Running as a Mother, Whether she is a Mother

[SteelPenguin]

One line of attack that I've seen, though definately not in the majority mind you, is that she is a breastfeeding mom, and question her ability to be on the campaign trail. This is an offensive line of questioning. Women are perfectly capable of working hard, while breastfeeding. The only reason people make an issue out of it is that it's THEIR issue with seeing a woman breastfeeding and force them to 'take a time out'. My wife was not one of these women and though she would often just relax and enjoy the experieince of being close to her baby, I've also seen her feed on the go with the help of a sling. Breastfeeding or being a mother isn't an impediment to being able to do a hard job. As far as whether she should spend more time with her child, I have a friend with a Downs Syndrome baby and we use the same daycare. Her son is one of the happiest kids in the daycare, but she has no choice but to have him there from early in the morning to early at night because of her job. I just don't understand how we can suggest that a breastfeeding mother as Vice President wouldn't have far more facilities at her disposal to have her son with her MORE. Playing in the same or next room, good 1 on 1 work with developmental specialists, etc. Women are as apt to be strong and intelligent as men, and while having a Downs Syndrome child is 'more work' than your average cub, having one and breastfeeding while working is something we should herald as progressives, not disparage.

Also as far as the question of whether she is the mother or not, as I just mentioned, she's breastfeeding. It's VERY difficult to induce lactation if the woman hasn't been pregnant. Wet nurses are women who start to lactate and never let it stop. They don't just decide "oh I'll be a wet nurse". If Palin is breastfeeding that's a high indicator that it's her baby.

We shouldn't attack Palin on questions of maternity, or a woman's ability to do a job while having an infant with special needs. We should attack her for not supporting choice, for not supporting programs to help mothers of other special needs children. To not provide universal health coverage to all americans, and all children like my friend who can't leave her job or she'll lose her health coverage, and ends up rarely seeing her own special needs child. We should attack her on being just plain wrong on issues for Women and for Americans. Not for being one.

[TwilightGardener]

1. Why did we attack Mitt Romney for tying his dog to the roof of his car?

That had nothing to do with his policies and qualifications. We did it because it showed his character. It just seemed very wrong, almost cruel, and so we judged him that way. Why do we talk about McLoon ditching his injured wife for a prettier, younger model? That has nothing to do with issues and policies--but again, it's a peek into his character. Whether or not anyone agrees with Palin's mothering decisions, it's very difficult to ignore the fact that parenting is often a sign of a mother's or father's character and priorities. It helps Obama that he looks like an excellent, devoted father, for example, but Rudy Giuliani was damaged by the fact that he had a poor relationship with his own children. I suppose that because Palin is a woman, her attitude toward her children are suddenly off limits--I can judge a man on his parenting, but not a woman.

[SteelPenguin]

2. No i think you can still consider people's parenting

I just think that saying that she's a bad parent because she's running for office while breastfeeding a downs syndrome baby isn't a bad parent thing and plays into a number of incorrect sexist stereotypes many of us aren't even aware that we hold unconsiously (both men and women). Is Barack Obama a bad father because he's on the trail? Of course not. What exactly makes Palin a bad mother? That she as a Downs Syndrome child and is already busy with her current job, and will be busy with this one? What exactly are we criticising? Do the other women inthis country who work to support their families when they have special needs children deserve to be called bad mothers?

Working mothers are not bad mothers. Mothers of special needs children that hold jobs, even hard jobs, are not bad mothers. Mothers who want to balance having children and having careers are not bad mothers.

Palin is a dangerous inept extremist who would be disastrous for america, but not because of her being a working mother of a special needs child.

[TwilightGardener]

4. Why is it necessarily wrong to judge her? I can't help but feel that

a devoted and loving mother would take more time off than three days after the birth of her baby, to bond and care for the baby. This woman seems proud of the fact that her work came first--couldn't even take a WEEK off. I also think that leaving TX to fly home while in labor was insanely irresponsible and showed complete disregard for the infant, and for the flight crew and passengers. I think some women are upset because they want everyone to validate the mothering choices they make, no matter how extreme, so they start screaming sexism at the slightest hint of criticism. If Obama went on the road to campaign for President three days after Michelle gave birth, I'd call him a shitty father and husband.

[SteelPenguin]

5. I have a good friend who took less than a week off

I don't know how much work Palin did on that first day, or if she just went in to the office to check email and say hi, or if she did a 10 hour day. Still, I have a friend in great shape, who felt guilty not going to work, so within the first week she was back in the office with her baby. We thought she should take it easy more, and I think sometimes she regrets not taking more time, but even after a few days she was going stir crazy.

Workaholics I guess. I don't judge people for it. Much anyway. I wouldn't choose it for my wife, but each to their own. It's not 'wrong'.

The flying from Texas thing though....That does strike me as irresponsible. She claims she was talking with her doctor, but that birth story just seems very odd to me and shows very poor judgement on her part, and the part of her doctor honestly if they were at all involved. That I think is a valid line of attack on personal judgement.

if Michelle had gotten pregnant 9 months ago while Barack was on the campaign trail and they didn't find out, for one reason or another till after Super Tuesday....Should Barack have dropped out? How long should Barack stay off the campaign trail if Michelle had a baby today (can you imagine???) and not be considered a bad father? Just complex questions and issues that I don't think we should judge people for as far as choices to work, or not work, etc.

[TwilightGardener]

9. I am always surprised that people on DU insist that we don't judge, and yet

that's exactly what most American voters will do--they will (hopefully) examine this woman's decisions as to her family life and make their own determination of her character. Some women will view her favorably, some women (myself included) will judge her harshly. But it's fair game. The whole Rev. Wright thing, which I thought was a non-story, was a character issue for some people--they asked, "why did he attend that church?" Mitt Romney being a Mormon, Mike Huckabee being an evangelical--these beliefs were open for judgment, even though we don't have a religious test for the Presidency. People will use their own lives and beliefs as a basis to judge these candidates, and there's just nothing wrong with it, even if they don't happen to come to the same conclusions as you. It might seem a sexist step backward, and a threat to working mothers, for people to cast a critical eye on Palin for her decisions, but it's entirely fair game when assessing her character.

[SteelPenguin]

11. You're right. Most American voters will judge based on silly things

My point is to question whether we're judging someone because it's something that really needs to be judged?

If someone on 'our side' would do something and we would defend it, and someone on 'their side' would do something we would attack it, I generally consider it a hypocritical judgement. Also I think the same thing for men and women. If we'd judge something one way for a women, and another for a man, then it's hypocritical.

Perhaps there ARE people here who would judge her negatively if she was pro-choice and liberal, and a democrat. I just don't think so. If she were a liberal democrat who got elected in Alaska and was a pro-choice mother of a downs syndrome infant who said she wanted to join Obama's ticket so she could help provide health care for all working mothers, and provide more help for mothers of special needs children, and to protect the rights of women who have to make difficult decisions during pregnancy because she had a choice to make, and she chose to bring the life into the world, but that no woman should judge another woman in that horrific position.

If she was saying and doing that, would we think differently about her? If so then it's a hypocritical political judgement in my opinion.

[classof56]

3. Palin is fortunate that her workplace accommodates breast feeding.

Quite a few women with six weeks maternity leave, if that much, have to wean their babies early or, as I've known them to do, use a breast pump during their coffee break so their child care provider can feed the baby the mother's milk. Whatever one's feelings about women in the workplace, especially those who are adamant that moms should stay home with their kids, the realities of today's economy is such that many women have no options but to show up for work, make the money and hope and pray their kids are okay where they've placed them.

Again--Mrs. Palin is lucky she does not have to deal with that kind of stress while breast feeding an infant. Maybe it has nothing to do with her qualifications as VP, and of course she's not going to breast feed forever. I'm not heralding or disparaging her or any other breast feeding mother of a special needs child. All women are, in my opinion, stronger than most men give us credit for, but in our culture they sure can make things harder for us than they need to be. I agree completely that Universal Health Care should be provided all Americans. That is one of the most critical issues in this election. One could hope Palin would support that, but then I'm guessing she's never had to face the problems your friend and millions of other women face on a daily basis.

[SteelPenguin]

6. Can you imagine a world where breast feeding isn't an issue

It's ridiculous that there aren't better day care and breastfeeding provisions for women provided, and the fact that Palin enjoys benefits not available to all americans makes her opposition to providing those benefits to all hard working american women makes her even more of a hypocrite.

[Skidmore]

7. I agree entirely and here is why.

There are way too many mothers in this nation with special needs children and without and sometimes without husbands/partners who must work and parent at the same time. It is not a choice for them to do otherwise. Her parenting, unless she is abusive to her children, is not the issue. The issues is that the choice over reproduction she chooses is that--the choice to have a child when she wants to. She would insist on dictating reproductive choice for other women, including whether or not they have access to birth control.

[SteelPenguin]

8. And also she refuses to provide care to other mothers

She refuses to provide American mothers and children with health coverage, better day care, better support and forces other mothers with special needs kids to work 12 hours days and barely see their children...meanwhile she's happy to recieve the benefits that come from government to allow her the luxury of having her child close to her and working at the same time.

Why not provide those same benefits to every American working mother, Heather? Is it because you're an "I got mine" hypocrite?

[knitter4democracy]

10. It's easier to lose your milk than you think, though.

I don't know how long she's planning on nursing (if she is--all we have so far is her word on that, but that's fine), but stress, not eating right, high fever from infection, not getting enough water, and other stressors on the body can make you lose your milk or at least go way down in production, enough to have to supplement. I nursed for four and a half years straight (long-term nursed both of my kids), and I lost all my milk with one day of a high fever when my daughter brought home strep throat from preschool. My son was old enough to wean easily, though it was hard on both of us, but that's when I realized it's a lot easier to lose your milk than people think. I had noticed that times of stress or not enough to eat or drink made a difference in how much I had, but I lost it all in one day with a high fever.

I'm just sayin', she's not going back to work. She's governing a large state with many huge issues going on, running for VP, and trying to take care of five kids, including an infant. That's not just "going back to work".

[SteelPenguin]

12. Well a few of those kids are old enough

They don't really need to be coddled. When I was 16 my mom went to law school and we hardly saw her. My older sister and I helped cook, and do laundry etc. We weren't exactly helpless and needing mommy.

The younger ones she has help caring for, as does Barack with his daughters. We can't judge her without also judging him.

You're right about nursing. It can be difficult for many women without a good diet, and regular nursing or pumping, plus stress can be a problem. still I dont' see that it's a valid judgement to make against working mothers. Most women don't have that choice, and when we call one who does a bad mother, we stain all those hard working mothers who don't have one, imho.

[knitter4democracy]

13. Her job isn't like most working mothers' jobs, though.

She's doing two jobs at the same time which will mean she'll never be home for two months--while her infant son is at high risk of surgeries, infections, and massive complications. Will she turn down an interview or speech if her baby's in the hospital for a heart surgery? Will she spend the half a day flying back from Washington or wherever to meet with his doctor and medical team if they find something serious that needs immediate attention? Many working moms in this situation at least are living with their kids. She won't be anywhere near them. Her husband most likely won't either. He's going to have his own interviews and speaking engagements as the VP candidate's spouse and an oddity in his own right. Who's going to raise the baby and be there for him in the hospital?