Wetzelbill touts visits to Swiss and German airports as proof of foreign policy expertise

[Wetzelbill]

Hey if Sarah Palin can claim her trip to an Irish airport as proof of her experience, then I can say that since I have been to the airports in Zurich and Frankfort that I have that experience too.

I am a Switzerland and Germany expert.

Other types of foreign policy expertise.

- As a member of the sovereign Blackfeet Nation, I am an expert in Indian policy, but also because of my close vicinity to the United States, I am an expert in the United States.

- I grew up less than an hour away from the Canadian border. I am an expert in that country too.

- When I lived in Seattle, I knew an Arab guy who worked at a place down the street. I am an expert in the Middle East.

- I live in Arizona and that borders Mexico. Not only that, I went out with a Mexican woman before, so I have real world experience in U.S.-Mexico relations.

- I traveled to and wrestled in Bulgaria. So I know how to win wars.

- Bulgaria is next to Bosnia and they were at war at the time. Again, I know a thing or two about wars.

- Russia is kind of close to Bulgaria. That has to count for something.

- A few years ago, I attended the local Greek Festival. I am pretty sure that makes me an expert in Grecian matters.

- This isn't direct foreign policy experience, but I have directed a music video before. Therefore, I have more executive experience than Obama, Biden and McCain.

**** It should be noted that I have taken several foreign policy related classes, Arabic-Israeli Conflict, International Relations, American Foreign Policy. I do not list these as qualifications, because as we all know, Foreign policy and National Security experience, isn't something that you have to study or learn, you don't get knowledge from a book or anything like that. It comes from the gut. Like say, looking into Putin's eyes and shit.

I will say this, thanks to Sarah Palin, I'm back. I think I might have a shot to win this thing. I just need to find a suitable female replacement for Kurovski. He's still pulling the strings, but as John McCain has taught us, all it takes to win this thing is to put a woman on the ticket, any woman will do.

[billyoc]

1. Dude, I'm EIGHT BLOCKS FROM THE U.N.!

I should at LEAST score Secretary of State out of THAT!

[Wetzelbill]

3. I probably already promised that to somebody but we can have more than one

I'm Liberal, I like useless bureaucracy, at least that's what RWers always tell me. Why would they lie?

[grantcart]

2. Too bad you were never a member of the PTA and you were "that close"

[Wetzelbill]

4. I was on the University of Arizona hearing board before?

Does that count at all? I could use that for something. I think.

[brer cat]

5. I've got you beat by a mile!

I've eaten at Taco Bell AND consumed vast amounts of chinese take-out.

[Wetzelbill]

16. You could be an ambassador I think

[katandmoon]

6. Big deal! I used to work THREE BLOCKS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE!

[Wetzelbill]

9. That sounds like cabinet position material to me

I'll keep you in mind.

[katandmoon]

37. Oooh! Can I have the Interior Dept?! They have a really nice cafeteria!

[Wetzelbill]

38. I can roll with that

[grace0418]

7. BUT, were you a high school point guard? Huh? Huh? Besides, I've been in O'Hare airport

many times in my life. O'Hare Airport has flights to pretty much everywhere in the world. So therefore I must be an expert on the entire planet.

[Wetzelbill]

11. in 5th and 6th grade I played point guard

AND on my same trip overseas I've been to O'Hare. I might be the most qualified person for this job in the world... maybe in history.

[islandmkl]

8. i might have your female counterpart lined up for you...

i can't give her name, at the moment, but she is definitely qualified:

*high school cheerleader
*big boobs
*attended at least 4 colleges
*'dates' men of various nationalities and races
*has years and years of international trade & travel experience:
-beginning in 1972 as an intermediary in US-Mexico independent trade program originating in Oaxaca
-1980-1994: similar position with US-Colombian agricultural exchange program
-1994-2000: cultural emissary to White House, representing various enterprises based in the San Fernando Valley area of Los Angeles, CA
-2000-2005: extensive travel to more than 30 countries while serving as a 'personal cultural liaison' for governmental officials and corporate executives
-2006-present: private hedge fund director/analyst representing international consortium of anonymous female entrepreneurs
*big boobs

[Wetzelbill]

14. I was considering my friend, Sara, to cut into Palin's first name demographic

She's smart. Young. Really gorgeous. Been to Italy and Costa Rica and a few other places. Blonde. An avid runner. Somebody you'd like to have a beer with...

Wait did you say big boobs?

[crispini]

10. Me! I'm a woman! And a founding member of the KOEB!

So you know I'm an asskicker, and my expertise in all things Olbermann automatically makes me an expert in, well, everything. Including baseball! I am a sports expert by proxy! :rofl:

[Wetzelbill]

32. Press Secretary! Nobody knows the Liberal media

more than somebody who studies KO.

[Matariki]

12. I went to school in Italy for a year. I should be VP

I even still remember how to say 'keep your hands to yourself' in Italian.

[Wetzelbill]

19. hahaha

That's funny. I remember how to ask a woman to come home with me in Bulgarian. That was a phrase we were taught by a local kid, lol. I think it was a crude phrase and the kid was playing a joke on us, but he made it sound like it was a polite way to ask someone etc. It probably was profane, lol.

[Matariki]

13. Oh, and I was in the Iceland airport for 4 hours.

I bet Iceland is more important politically than Ireland. Now that the North Pole is melting.

[Wetzelbill]

20. well, global warming doesn't exist, but nice try.

:)

[Crunchy Frog]

15. I won't vote for the ticket without Kurovski on it.

[Wetzelbill]

22. He's still the man behind the curtain

No worries! Kurovski simply recognizes that women are fickle and would vote for any woman, so he's sacrificing his public position to exploit that.

[Crunchy Frog]

35. Not this woman. I won't vote for any ticket that doesn't have Kurovski on it.

You just don't understand the hold that he has on women, or what it is that makes him so irresistable to us.

You'd better whip him into shape and get him on board, or your presidential run is doomed. :)

[Wetzelbill]

36. I was just told that I don't speak for my own campaign

Maybe I can get one of my higher ups to make a decision?

[SoCalDem]

17. No extra credit for the cuckoo clock or the swiss candy bars you eat

:)

[Wetzelbill]

24. I did have a pen pal from India in 3rd or 4th grade, I forgot to mention that

I do think drinking some Irish whiskey might count though, even if the candy bars don't. I was bit by a German Shepherd, that just adds to my Germanic expertise.

[SoCalDem]

26. next you'll say that a Russian wolfhound pissed on your foot

[Wetzelbill]

30. I wish! that would only add to my lengthy resume

[NightWatcher]

18. I got high near Den Hagg (the Hague) does that mean I know shit about international justice?

I do have a CJ degree.....

Hell yes, I'm qualified. Nightwatcher for Prosecutor of the World Court

[Wetzelbill]

25. That sounds perfect to me

Just don't let Norm Coleman near your stash.

[NightWatcher]

29. I swear he looks like my old friend, Squirrely the Nug

and no, you could not trust Squirrely Nuggins with your stash.


Wetzell/Nightwatch 2012?

[Wetzelbill]

33. LMAO

:rofl:

[tinrobot]

21. I bought a diet coke and a bag of nuts at the Tokyo airport.

The young girl behind the register gave me the wrong change, when I corrected her, she giggled a lot.

Therefore, I am a complete expert on Japan.

[Wetzelbill]

27. Ambassador to Japan!

An excellent tradition, from Mike Mansfield to Walter Mondale to tinrobot.

[REACTIVATED IN CT]

23. Pick me ! Pick me !

I was a PTA officer twice - Treasurer and Secretary.

[Wetzelbill]

28. That might actually make you overqualified

at least in Republican world. Secretary of Treasury could work...

[Wheezy]

31. Hey WB! Great to see you.

And glad to know of your tremendous expertise on foreign affairs. I've recently become somewhat of an expert myself, having been to Detroit recently. That's almost Canada.

[Wetzelbill]

34. oh yeah, that definitely gives you some Canadian expertise

Good to see you too!

[dbmk]

39. I have you beat!

I am an actual foreigner!

Next step is getting rid of those pesky rules concerning place birth and citizenship, though. You might have me there. But did I hear you say, your were born outside of the United States?

[WinkyDink]

40. I'll have y'all know the moon is right above my house. I'll take NASA for $500, Alex.

[malletgirl02]

41. I could be Secretary of State!

I lived in Germany for three years when I was really young, because my dad was stationed there.

I was a member of by class cabinet my junior year of high school.

A member of the student council executive committee my senior year.

At the community college I attended before I transferred to a university I was a member of the student government association.

I was a member of the international relations organization in college.

I studied at the University of Oxford during the summer between my 3rd and 4th years of college.

I also have a BA in foreign affairs with a concentration in the Middle East and North Africa.

Hey why not just secretary of state I can be VP! :)

[Berry Cool]

42. Ohhhh, pick me, pick me.

I speak English. The same language they speak over in England.

What more foreign policy experience do you need????

[Wetzelbill]

43. wow, our current president doesn't even speak that language

:)

[Oak2004]

44. I downloaded language learning software to this computer a few weeks ago.

No question about it: future Secretary of State

[Wetzelbill]

46. that automatically puts you on the short list

[yardwork]

45. I'm your veep. I was treasurer of my kids' preschool.

I handled literally hundreds of dollars on a monthly basis.

[Wetzelbill]

47. or head of the president's group on financial markets

or whatever it was that Ron Paul asked McCain about, that neither one of us know anything about. But like McCain, my leadership style is more of an emptysuitishness.