Chuck Norris-esque jokes for Obama

[Rocknrule]

Superman has Chuck Norris bedsheets. Chuck Norris has Barack Obama bedsheets
Barack Obama once debated himself and won
Barack Obama doesn't get wet, the pool gets Barack Obama
Barack Obama doesn't write, the words assemble themselves out of respect for him

Come up with more!

[asdjrocky]

1. Barack Obama doesn't mow his lawn.

He just dares it to grow.

Barack Obama isn't afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of him.

[Rocknrule]

2. Barack Obama does not sleep. He waits.

Barack Obama counted to infinity...twice
Freepers made Barack Obama toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anyone
Barack Obama can touch MC Hammer
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Barack Obama.

[jakefrep]

3. When God said "Let There Be Light", he had to ask Barack Obama for permission

Barack Obama once got Blackjack...with one card

[Rocknrule]

4. Good ones

But let's be careful. Even though this is in good fun, deifying candidates is something Republicans do (i.e. Bush), not us.

[Phredicles]

5. Per The Daily Show: Every time Barack Obama speaks,

an angel has an orgasm.

Mind you, I'm not convinced that's a joke; I tend to believe it's the simple truth.:D