David Sedaris on Undecided Voters

[southpaw]

I don’t know that it was always this way, but, for as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters. “Who are they?” the news anchors ask. “And how might they determine the outcome of this election?”
-snip-

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2008/10/27/081027sh_shouts_sedaris


I saw David Sedaris in Nashville on Friday, and he read this short essay, which was published in The New Yorker today.

Needless to say, the room was packed with Obama supporters who howled at the obvious comparison to the McCain/Palin ticket as 'human shit with bits or broken glass in it.' Sedaris explained after reading the story that The New Yorker balked at using the term 'human shit' so he changed the phrase to 'platter of shit.' Still, he thought that 'human shit' was more appropriate.

[babylonsister]

1. Hahahaha! I agree with Sedaris! What's up with that? Rec'd! nt

[Mist]

2. I tend to think of undecided voters as perfect examples of passive-aggressive

idiots, enjoying the attention they get every four years. Fuck 'em.

[Lucky 13]

3. My parents and extended family are currently "undecided".

It seems absolutely incredible and inane that seemingly reasonable people would be UNDECIDED at this point. But they do exist.

My family is comprised mainly of christian fundies. Despite their LOVE and ADORATION of Failin' Palin (barf), they have decided they CANNOT vote for McCain. They cite his going against conservatives in the party for too many years, but mainly it is based on the testimony of my cousin. She is in her early 40's and went to school with McCain's daughter Sidney in Northern Virginia. They were friends and she spent time in their home. From her own limited brushes with John McCain and what Sidney confided to her, she has come to fear a McCain Presidency. She, and now subsequently my whole family, believe he is unstable and a lunatic. They don't want him anywhere near "The Button".

At the same time, they just can't bring themselves to vote for Obama. Despite testimony of other evangelicals that Obama IS, in fact, a Christian, I think in the back of their mind, they entertain the "Is he a Muslim?" question. They also have some underlying racial biases too that they will never admit to but that I KNOW are present. They also differ from him on almost every social issue and believe that Obama will raise their taxes. (And they only watch Fox news, so all they hear is propaganda.) If you were to ask them, in one sentence, to sum up why they can't vote for Obama, they'd say, "We can't trust him."

My only point is that REAL undecided voters DO EXIST and I think, if we could come up with the right strategy, some of them could be moved over to our side. It's gotta be all about assuaging fears. I think Obama doing something to demonstrate his CHRISTIAN beliefs would be helpful. NO... a presidential candidate shouldn't have to take a test on what their beliefs are. BUT, if showing what your true beliefs are can HELP us, we should do it. We should be working, not only to WIN this election, but to try to move from being so harshly divided into finding common ground. That way once he gets in office, there will be less idiots working to undermine him and more people willing to give him a chance to succeed.

[Starry Messenger]

4. The end paragraph on page 2 is awesome.

I love Sedaris.

[electron_blue]

5. Massively self-absorbed describes the one undecided voter I know.

Funny article.

[helderheid]

6. I'm seeing him TONIGHT!

:woohoo:

[southpaw]

15. He was wonderful in Nashville.

I got him to sign my copy of "When You Are Engulfed In Flames" before he went on, and he went out of his way to be very welcoming to everyone. A class act.

Friday, he read a great new story about travelling on trains/relationships, this one on undecided voters, something he's working on about his experiences on book tours, and several entries from his journal. He also introduced the audience to the works of an essayist named George Saunders and read a brief excerpt from his (Saunders') latest book... It has the word 'megaphone' in the title.

You are going to laugh your ass off!

[Patiod]

7. I'm more OK with Republicans than "undecided" Dems

The Republicans I know and hang around with would vote for, say, Condi Rice, any day over any white, male Democrat. It's all about ideology for them.

I can even deal with undecided Republicans - folks who have strong Republican views but know which way the wind is blowing.

But the Dems I know who are "undecided" are just flat-out opposed to voting for a black guy. Old school, flat-out racists. Absolutely positively no other reason.

[nichomachus]

8. Lots of very good points, including this one

Still, though, it taught me a valuable lesson: calling yourself a maverick is a sure sign that you’re not one.

It's like calling yourself "the most humble person around."

[southpaw]

16. That line drew a roaring round of applause Friday.

Being a red-stater, it was nice to be among so many like minded people.

[stuntcat]

9. you saw him!!!

I've wanted to see him for so long :cry: something always keeps me from him. The last chance I had I got SO CLOSE to getting a ticket, I was all up at the counter getting out my money, then she figured out I'm not a college student :cry:

Thank you for this link!!!

[Terran]

10. Haha, I can just hear him saying this

David Sedaris is the epitome of "sardonic". He's got to be one of the funniest writers living.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

11. That guy is hilarious.

One of the few writers who will actually have me laughing out loud when I read him.

[Poiuyt]

12. I love Davis Thedarith!

[southpaw]

17. So, are you for State or Carolina?

[demokatgurrl]

13. Very well stated

I could never figure it out either. While I may be undecided very early in the primaries, it doesn't take long to make up my mind. And then, since I will never vote for a Repuke, once the primary is over, my candidate is selected.

Easy as PIE.

[FatDave]

14. How about that...

David Sedaris has voted for a republican at least one more time than I have.

[Ichingcarpenter]

18. Ignorance is bliss ........

No its not, its frightening and has led to the problems we face in this nation

[progressoid]

19. Damn, that guy's good.

I just finished, "When You Are Engulfed In Flames". :thumbsup: