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For all of the business friendly, job creation promises made by South Carolina politicians running this season, not one has hit on the best and simplest solution to our skyrocketing unemployment.
To create jobs, South Carolina needs a return to child labor. This country was built on the labor of poor children. America was prosperous and strong until bleeding heart communists hijacked our government and outlawed the practice. Businesses responded (quite properly) by outsourcing jobs to countries with more business friendly policies. It's time to bring child labor back. With the recent cuts in education, our public schools don't have room for all of these poor children. Even if they did, and even if every child graduated high school, college, and grad school, there are not and never have been enough jobs in high paying fields for all South Carolina citizens. For most people, all higher education leads to is impossible debt, often totaling hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I propose we end funding for public education entirely. The wealthy and upper middle class children can go to private schools, just like they do now, and the poor children will go to work to support their families and build a better South Carolina. Of course, there will be no socialist wage restrictions. Child laborers will be paid at the rate set by the businesses who hire them.
Businesses such as the meat packing industry, long forced to rely on illegal immigrants and other adult labor, will flock to South Carolina to take advantage of our new, business friendly, job creation climate. Our textile industry, gutted for decades by our business hostile, wage bloated, communist society, will return to South Carolina, never to depart again. And we will return to the family friendly ideals of the past, when poor women had no need of daycare for any child over the age of seven, since by that age her children worked the same twelve to fourteen hours each day as she, often at her side or in the same factory.
It's time to make South Carolina strong again. It's time to grow jobs again. It's time for a return to child labor.
I'm a satirist, and I approve this message.
Seriously, though, this state is a horrible place to work and live. If anyone is thinking about moving here, don't!
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