Question about the entrance exam to get into heaven

[Boojatta]

Is there a separate exam for ministers, priests, and rabbis, an exam with questions that are harder to answer correctly than the questions on the exam for laypersons?

[Drale]

1. There is no exam only a lie detector

which stops any republicans from ever getting in.

[gateley]

2. Or St. Peter only looks at one's voting record. nt

[MineralMan]

3. No such place.

My opinion. See my signature line.

[Speck Tater]

4. Everybody goes to heaven.

Or maybe nobody goes to heaven.

Or maybe everybody gets reincarnated.

Or maybe nobody gets reincarnated.

Or may be some people get reincarnated and some people go to heaven.

Or maybe everybody goes where they expect to go, with Christians going to the Christian heaven, Muslims to the Muslim heaven, Wicans to Summerland, Vikings to Valhalla, Buddhists to another incarnation, and atheists don't go anywhere, they just kind of dissipate into the aether.

I'd bet it's one of those options or the other, I'm just not sure which one.

[dimbear]

5. The heartbreaker is that you fail unless you are buried

with a #2 pencil.

[Boojatta]

9. Somebody should have said something before the pyramids were built in Egyptian.

All that effort, and they didn't even include any #2 pencils down there in the burial chambers.

[onager]

10. FYI, here's the way cooler Egyptian final judgment...

Starting in the upper left corner...

1. First ol' Jackal-Head, the god Anubis, leads you in front of 14 judges. They decide whether or not you get into the afterlife right away. I've heard two different versions - those judges are either the gods of major Egyptian cities, or just some bunch of Lesser Gods. I've also seen 12 instead of 14 judges on different papyri.

Anyhow, each judge holds an ankh. If the judge raises the ankh, it means - "thumbs up, welcome to the afterlife." If the judge does not, tough luck, no afterlife, welcome (back) to oblivion. But since there are always an even number of judges, tie votes would be common.

2. With the judges deadlocked, Anubis takes you down to meet Ma’at, the winged goddess of truth and justice - she's the tiny, hard-to-see figure on top of the scales. Ma'at plucks a feather from her wing and Anubis weighs it against your heart, in the scales.

If your heart weighs more than the feather, your heart is heavy with evil. The little blue guy beside Anubis, with the head of a crocodile and rear body of a rhinoceros, is Ammut. He eats your heart, then the rest of you. Go directly to oblivion, do not pass Go, do not collect an Afterlife.

3. If the feather outweighs your light and sinless heart - congrats, you're in! The Egyptian god of journalism and bean-counters, ibis-headed Thoth, writes down the verdict of your trial. Pretty much like St. Peter etc.

4. Then Horus, the guy with the falcon head, escorts you in to meet the V.I.P.'s of the afterlife: Osiris, holding a shepherd's crook to symbolize that he is the shepherd of all humanity (which also sounds vaguely familiar). And the flail, used to separate wheat from chaff - symbolism obvious. The lovely ladies are his wife Isis and his sister-in-law Nephthys. Party time!

Bonus Irrelevant Trivia: when a modern Egyptian mom is feeding a baby, she will hold the food up to its mouth and say: "Mut-mut-mut!" or "eat it up." That's a direct reference to Ammut. I never saw an Egyptian mom feed her baby a heart, though. And as an atheist in Egypt, I nearly starved due to a severe lack of Xian babies.

[xchrom]

6. IF you are Christian - Christ left a 'fairly' clear descriptive

About who was on the left hand and who was on the right hand.

There is no distinction for priests or rabbis.

And it really is harder for a rich to gain the kingdom of god than it is for him to pass through the eye of a needle.

More Jesus holds strictly to the old testament prophets regarding social justice, the widow, the poor, the convict, and all those purposely persecuted
Without reason. Jesus is Jewish after all - and they cannot be separated.

[Meshuga]

7. The exam should be written by you Boojatta

That would give these guys a ticket straight to hell.

[SheilaT]

8. I saw a cartoon the other day

which showed a man at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter at the podium holding up a needle, and telling the man to select a camel. It might have been a Non Sequiter cartoon.

[LAGC]

11. What about mullahs?

Why do Muslim clerics gets a free pass? Shouldn't they have to take an "enhanced" exam too?

[PassingFair]

12. 144,000 Jewish male virgins. All others need not apply.

Amen

[GliderGuider]

13. Heaven is right here. There's the same entrance exam for all, but most can't answer the question...

"Who are you?"

[dimbear]

14. BTW, have in mind the standard answer: "I hardly know, sir,

just at present."

[pokerfan]

15. choose the right religion