Last Pick Of WNBA Draft Earns Title Of Saddest Woman In America

[joeybee12]

BRISTOL, CT—With the 36th and final pick of the 2011 WNBA Draft, the Seattle Storm selected 6-foot-5 center and rebound specialist Krystal Thomas, thereby officially making her the saddest woman in the United States of America.

Thomas, a psychology major who had been planning to go to medical school before suffering the tragedy of being chosen for a woman's professional basketball team, was too distraught to actually watch the draft Monday night. She learned her fate from friends and family and immediately succumbed to depression severe enough to make her, by all accepted standards of measurement, the nation's saddest woman.

Thomas was reportedly so inconsolable that she easily eclipsed America's previous saddest woman, 42-year-old Delaware resident Mary Vernon, who lost her family and both her hands in a tragic car accident last month.

"I was already pretty down about just being a prospective draft pick," said Thomas, who is sixth on the Duke all-time rebounds list, was only the second Blue Devil to tally 300 rebounds in a season, and had hoped to end her basketball career with pride and dignity. "This is absolutely devastating. I'm crushed."

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/last-pick-of-wnba-draft-earns-title-of-saddest-wom,20051/