ATHLETE WITHOUT COMPELLING PERSONAL DRAMA EXPELLED FROM OLYMPICS

[underpants]

http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1319&srch=

Skier Concealed Adversity-Free Past From Officials, NBCA member of the U.S. Olympic ski team was disqualified from competition today when it was learned that he did not have a sufficiently compelling human storyline to exploit on the NBC telecast of the worldwide sporting event.

Tom Klujian, the expelled skier, was not raised by a single mother, never had a career-threatening injury, and did not overcome a personal tragedy of any kind before making the Olympic ski team, U.S. Olympic officials revealed today.

“Had Tom been involved in an organ donation, as either a donor or a recipient, that would have been acceptable to us,” ski team spokesman Sandy Harnofsky told reporters. “However, he was not.”

According to sources close to the ski team, Mr. Klujian had concealed the fact that he comes from an intact middle class family who never lost their home to a flood, tornado, or typhoon.

But what may have sealed Mr.Klujian’s doom, sources said, was his utter lack of a gravely ill family member to win a medal for.

[dr.zoidberg]

1. LOL!

I like it. :)

[jakefrep]

2. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Great stuff! :rofl: :spray: :rofl:

[rooboy]

3. Amen to that... n/t

[qanda]

4. That's great

I am cracking up.

[Berry Cool]

5. Actually, while that might have applied some Olympics ago,

I have to hand it to NBC. This time they have NOT been wasting all their airtime with tearjerking profiles of the athletes. They've been doing something really radical...showing the actual SPORTS.

Of course, in order to know that, you'd have to actually be watching, rather than ridiculing them for their past coverage and refusing to tune in because you assume they are doing the same thing now.

[qanda]

6. Dang, I just thought it was funny

I guess the lease on your sense of humor expired.