Ice hockey primer for madinmaryland.

[Forkboy]

OK, we need to start with the basics.

This is what you'll be playing on...



But first, one needs a few items.

You will need to wear....






And one of these...

Lest you end up looking like this...


Now that you're fully protected, grab one of these...


and some of these...


and let's hit the ice!

What's that...you can't skate yet? Well, don't fear, there are training classes available...


Ok, now we're ready for action.

The game starts with what we in the know call a "faceoff". No, it has nothing to do with leprosy. It looks like this.


Once the puck is in play, the players scramble about to put it in what we call "the net", or "goal" to civilized folk.


But be careful while you have the puck, or you may end up in this position...


Sometimes, emotions get the better of the players, and they may want to do this to you...


But, with hard work and perseverance, a good player will eventually come through for his team...


Leading to much rejoicing and the consumption of fermented vegetable products!













:hide:

[nickgutierrez]

1. You forgot about this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qY7_ovIIFHk

[Forkboy]

2. That's next week's lesson.

:D

[madinmaryland]

3. Sorry, dude! If I am going to watch people ice skating, I am going to watch something

hot. At least there are two hot chicks fighting!



Oh yeah, can your toothless idiots do this..



:rofl:

[Forkboy]

4. Do you watch that shit while knitting, grandma?

And if that's your idea of hot chicks then you should skip the hockey. You've clearly already taken too many blows to the head.

Or not enough elsewhere...

:yoiks:

[madinmaryland]

8. You know, it's sounds like you kind of enjoy the toothless guys.

:hide:

Sorry, but if i'm going to watch ice skating, i'll watch the women.

[Forkboy]

9. LMAO

Gums...don't knock it 'til you try it!

[madinmaryland]

10. Well there is something about a good

gumjob!!1!!

:rofl:

[joeybee12]

5. Where are the TWO hot chicks fighting? I see Nancy Kerrigan and

a Teamster.

[Forkboy]

6. "a teamster"

:spray:

:rofl:

[joeybee12]

7. I don't get it...did this person's union card expire?

It's a teamster, right?

[mmonk]

11. OMG.

Those two?

[Condem]

12. Thanks , Fork.

My teen years. The great Bobby Clarke.

[Forkboy]

13. One of the chippiest bastards to ever lace 'em up.

I loved him! :)

[Condem]

14. Man , Fork, those were the days!

The Bullies were the rage. The local hockey rinks were just jammed. My buddies and I used to rent a rink in Bristol PA from 1 til 3 in the AM, Saturday nights. We'd smoke a couple of jays and then play lights out for those two hours. If you haven't played it you wouldn't know. Extreme.

[Captain Hilts]

15. Someone's got to find Mad Magazines' Guide to Ice Hockey. nt