Okay, I'm still new to the whole being gay thing

[Dark]

or, I should say being gay in public. I came out of the closet to my friends some months ago.

Anyways, I don't know any gay guys, and only one lesbian. So, where do I go to hook up with gay guys? BTW, Clubs are fun occasionally, but I don't like going every weekend.

There's got to be another place to meet men. I'm 19, and looking for the 18-21 range.

Any ideas? Oh, and I already did the gay-straight alliance at my college. No prospects there. . .(there were five guys besides me. And two of them were straight.)

[Chicago Democrat]

1. move to a gay neighborhood

best way

[Dark]

4. I'm in a red state. And my money limits my real estate choices. n/t

[emcguffie]

5. what state?

My brother is gay, went to school in Arkansas, there's quite a community at Hot Springs. Now he's in Mississippi.

He has lots and lots of friends. He's driving a truck now, and is in a very stable long-term relationship.

[Dark]

12. Ohio.

I know we're here, I just don't know where. . .

[Imagine My Surprise]

17. They don't call Cincinnati the Queen City for nuthin'

[Dark]

20. We do have some great drag. One of my favorites is Cissy Cumdrops.

OMG she said the most hilarious thing at a benefit show at NKU.

"Dr. Dobson (of Focus on the Family fame) should realize that doctors are supposed to wear white coats, not white hoods."

[Chicago Democrat]

7. Ok, then online is one way to hook up

I liked coffee houses, that way its under 21 ok. It was a good place to meet and just hang.. Totally casual. You got a coffee house?

[Chicago Democrat]

2. Coffee house, Book store, Adult book store, street, ally

Gym! Sauna!

[Dark]

8. I know about the coffee houses,

but I thought that mostly thirty to forty year old gay men went there.

I don't think that an alley is such a good place, nor the street cause I live in a red state.

One look can be all it takes to get an ass-kicking.

[Chicago Democrat]

14. First of all during the daytime old people are

working! A great place to read a book and a cheap place usually.

Also Coffee houses want you to hang cause its good for business.


Yes, old trolls may look at you, get used to that, make them buy you things and break their hearts.

[Dark]

19. Ooh, that sounds evil. Are you sure you're not a conservative?

:evilgrin:

[BR_Parkway]

3. I met my partner (shut up, don't laugh) online @ gay.com

We've been together 7 years now. There's alot of BS and instant hookups to weed through, but I just hung out there and enjoyed the regulars that I got to know, wasn't shopping for a husband, just sorta stumbled over him one day.

[Imagine My Surprise]

16. That gives me hope for gay.com! Glad it worked for you!!!

[Malikshah]

26. Not laughing here.. so did I

There was a group of us who met online and went out as a group on Sundays... the "leader" of the group played matchmaker for me and my partner .... and we're going strong 6 yrs later.

It's a good place to start-- you'll get the usual RT types and the liars, etc. The best way to get around that is group outings etc.

[xchrom]

6. you'll meet them.

and try the website br mentioned.

and if you're in school -- try looking around -- see if your gaydar has kicked in.

where are you exactly? -- some places have geographic handicaps -- but -- we are everywhere!

i'm from peoria in my earlier years -- and i found 'em there!

[Chicago Democrat]

9. Where are they in Peoria!?

just kidding.

I like Peoria... A friendly town.

[xchrom]

21. lol -- i know what you mean.

how ever it's a town that's at it's friendliest if you are a conformist.
and alllll that that implys.

[Dark]

11. I'm in Ohio, not the reddest of the red, but not blue either. n/t

[xchrom]

23. ohio should be doable.

i've been to cinci -- and there's a pretty big gay community there -- cleveland is a pretty big place -- there could be possiblities there.

craigslist might be a place to start -- can be racy -- but you should be able to post just a question about where other young folk are.

[mourningdove92]

10. Patience my friend.

You will find him.

[Rick Myers]

13. Just be yourself

Do what you want to do. You'll be suprised. :hi:

[Imagine My Surprise]

15. Well, let's define some terms, first...

these days "hook up" often means hook-up for sex. If you created a screen name on a free gay.com account (I would suggest this, you have nothing to lose but time)you would soon discover that "wanna hook up?" doesn't mean "wanna meet for coffee."

gay.com tends to lend itself towards sexual hook-ups. nothing wrong with that, of course. I live in Louisville, a rather liberal city and quite gay-friendly in many ways, but I find it difficult to meet people, too. then again, I've entered Old Queendom and you are at the other end. (enjoy it while you can, too!)

but you should exhaust such free services as gay.com, and if you are on aol, you might want to check out the chat rooms there, too. They also have a whole gay/lesbian section.

If you've got $19.00 a month or whatever it costs these days, you may want to run a premium personals on yahoo. Make it clear what you are looking for, and it helps to post a photo of yourself.

those are the thoughts that leap to mind.

good luck.

[Dark]

18. Well, this sounds strange, but

I'm not looking for sex, well, not just sex. I've seen other friends with their girlfriends and boyfriends and how happy they are together. I want that. I want an actual relationship, not just a 'hook-up', but I also know most young gays are the exact opposite.

[Dark]

22. Thanks to all who replied. Please, keep 'em comin'. n/t

[Duncan Grant]

24. Have you thought about getting involved at your local community theater?

You'll make more gay friends at your local community theater than you can shake a stick at (if you'll pardon the expression). Even if you don't want to audition for a part there's always a need for volunteers to help with a show.

Go with the intent of finding friends - not boyfriends - and trust the advice of Rick Myers (above). :thumbsup:

[Maat]

25. I'm not gay, but I'm a proud PFLAGer!

I'm a PFLAGer that LISTENS to what the GLBT population has to say. It helps me be supportive of a relative.

This retired social worker, however, feels taht 94114_San_Fran's advice is good.

Get involved in activities you enjoy and keep busy. Set your standards. I enjoyed going out for cofee and talking, and I let people know that. Fortunately, I met my spouse, and we've been together 28 years.

[im10ashus]

27. It all depends on your location.

First of all, congratulations on coming out. It's never easy. It took me until I was 25 to come out to my family. I am almost 40 (there, I said it) and 15 years lated, it is not an issue at all, at least for most of my family. Is there a GLBT support group in your city? I hope you find a healthy alternative to the "bar" scene, as that is usually not the best place to get to know someone. Let us know where you are and maybe we can suggest some alternatives to bars.

[Dark]

29. I'm in cincinnati, OH. n/t

[im10ashus]

33. Here's a link:

http://www.cincyyouthsummit.org/

[mitchtv]

28. you won't have to do anything special

get involved in your local Dem party/ church/ whatever you enjoy/ as an out Gay your strate friends will do all the leg work trying to set you up. Take a deep breath Live out and loving they will beat your door down. Patience grasshopper

[bigwillq]

30. Hi Dark!

I would say get involved in local or state GLBT meetings, activities.
Bars and Clubs are great to have fun in and meet cool people but not the best for "hook-ups" although my lover of four years and I met at a club.

I wish you the best.:hi:

[thrift_store_angel]

31. Have you tried......

looking around this site: http://www.gaycincinnati.com/ I didn't look around too much but apparently they have message boards and they have a lot of organizations listed maybe one of them will appeal to you!:)

[Terran]

32. You beat me to it

These days any city of size has a whole host of GLBT groups that are not oriented around bars, and this web site no doubt will give you all the information you could hope for, Dark. In my little town in Missouri, a PFLAG chapter is just starting up, so that's always a good general interest group to get involved with