Social isolation a significant health issue

[Duncan Grant]

Here's an interesting article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding social isolation. This isn't a LGBT focused story but I thought it was worth "our" attention.

You may worry about your waistline or pack-a-day smoking habit, but psychologists say there is a less recognized yet significant health hazard facing Americans: loneliness.

They could have more friends than ever online but, on average, Americans have fewer intimates to confide in than they did a decade ago, according to one study. Another found that 20 percent of all individuals are, at any given time, unhappy because of social isolation, according to University of Chicago psychologist John Cacioppo. And, frankly, they'd rather not talk about it.

"People come into my office and say, 'I'm depressed or obsessive.' They don't say, 'I'm lonely,' " said Jacqueline Olds, a psychiatrist who teaches at Harvard Medical School and co-authored "The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-First Century." "People are so embarrassed about being lonely that no one admits it. Loneliness is stigmatized, even though everyone feels it at one time or another."

<snip>
What scientists can't tell you is exactly how much social contact you need. Most people pass through lonely phases at some point. So how can you tell if you're at risk? Psychologists have used an assessment called the UCLA Loneliness Scale, which consists of 20 questions, all dealing with perceived feelings of loneliness - from inquiries about feeling "in tune" with others to whether relationships seem meaningful or provide companionship and understanding.
<snip>

Story continues here.

[Deja Q]

1. What's to discuss? How to end isolation would be a good start.

Having "been there" before the media popularized it, I could write a book on the subject.

[msongs]

2. try the UCLA loneliness test here...

http://www3.shastacollege.edu/lvalvatne/psych15/ucla_loneliness_scale.htm

if you dare lol!

Msongs

[tbyg52]

13. Well, I scored over normal but not in the danger zone, which really surprised me.

It would have been higher if I didn't have a job I really like, which is why I'm never gonna retire!

[Historic NY]

3. I retired & feel abandoned by my former co-workers...

they want to party & talk shop.

[Jamastiene]

4. I'm glad I got here in time to K&R and Bookmark this.

People often don't believe me when I tell them loneliness can cause a person's health to go downhill.

It also affects pets too, believe it or not. If you play with a pet, especially an older pet, that has been moping around, watch the baby come out in them. They stay frisky for a day or two after a good play.

For both people and pets, a little bit of attention or even just kindness from a stranger goes a long way. The world would be a much better place if people weren't so cold and impersonal toward each other.

:grouphug:

[bluedawg12]

7. So true Jama

a little kindness goes a long,long way.

Earlier I had a mad moment with my younger dog, where she came over and just wanted her ears and head to be scratched. We were both in heaven! I swear she is brilliant, well, all our little critters are, they have us trained and if we watch them, they signal a lot wth their eyes.

:hi:

:grouphug:

[Yes We Did]

5. This is why I always answer the phone when my mother calls.

Which some days can be very VERY annoying; but I know she doesn't have many friends anymore. It has to be hard being 50 and raising a ten year old.

[bluedawg12]

8. Aww, your a good son!

That reminds me, I need to go visit my mom tomorrow.

Yeah, raising a ten year old at any age is a challenge, at 50 she must be exhausted most days.

:hi:

[Yes We Did]

9. And let me tell you...

My little sis is a terror... except when I visit. Then she's a complete angel. I go visit about 3 times a year for 1-2 weeks at a time. It think that's the only time Autumn behaves. Actually, she asked me to come visit this time; first time that's happened. I think she just wants another webkin. ;)

[bluedawg12]

6. totally agree and this is important for us as gays

and for all of us as we get older we tend to narrow our circle of friends and for many gay folks it just leads to an even smaller circle of friends.

That's one of the reasons I was so happy to find this forum, we are pretty much isolated from our peeps and while we are happy with our lives together, it sure is nice to have a forum full of gays and allies, it just feels right, it's social, I learn a ton of info and often laugh till I LMAO.

[Yes We Did]

10. Glad to know it's not just me.

You know... my family and friends were very supportive (with a couple of dramatic exceptions) but... quite honestly I find myself doing the isolating, and I'm not sure why.

I mean... I moved and so I don't really see any of my old friends anymore... Actually, quite a few of them moved too, so maybe that's part of it.

But as far as my family, I really only talk to my mother and father and my youngest sister. I don't talk to my other sister or my brother any more, or hardly any of my aunts or uncles, and we used to be extremely close.

Sometimes I wonder if that is just part of life... or does it have to do with some personal internal conflict. However... "I" didn't get to come out to them, my sister (not autumn) and my dad's nosy ex-bitch-girlfriend (bitch was the nicer word, really) took care of that for me, and made sure everyone new; in fact, they just decided to randomly start telling people.

How nice, right?

Dammit! Now I'm pissed off.

Don't you fucking love family!

[marew]

11. I can fully understand.

My ex left after 30 years to be with his girlfriend, my son threw me out of his life when I refused to give him money for his drug habit. He became physically abusive and had to go through domestic abuse counseling for what he did to me. I have no family. I have several very good friends but I don't go to their places for holidays when invited. That just makes it worse. I don't have their shared history they have with their families and I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I don't let them know how badly I feel. The only thing that keeps me here are my two beautiful rescue dogs. They've been let down before and I can't abandon them. One was severely neglected and was so underweight and sick and riddled with infections when he was found. He had virtually no fur. Now he is absolutely beautiful. I do get out and do volunteer work a couple days a week and have met some really great people there.

I always thought if I played by the rules and tried to be a good person, if I followed the Golden Rule, things would be okay. Doesn't necessarily happen that way.

Interesting, isn't it. We have more forms of communication open to people than ever in the history of civilization yet it is still all rather impersonal and superficial. Life is definitely not for sissies.

[Historic NY]

12. I've make sure to include all my relatives & friends with no place to go..

during the holidays. In fact its becoming the tradition now for them to come for dinner or help make it. Were are all alone for the most part due to death, divorce or being unattached. I find it better to surround myself with those that care or at least share the same feeling.