The fencesitters?

[lightningandsnow]

Why would someone call Deborah Singh a traitor?

She's a bright, articulate and political woman who works, volunteers and plays in Toronto's lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans institutions and businesses. Yet a gay man she works with recently called her just that -- a traitor.

Singh, 27, currently has a male partner. She is bisexual, or, more precisely, "a brown omnisexual woman" and she finds that many gay men and lesbians just don't get it. Singh says the traitor remark "really burned because it was like he was saying that I didn't belong in the space or I wasn't queer enough to work there."

In spite of the prevalence of the LGBT acronym, there is often a disconnect between bisexual people and gay and lesbian people.

Of course, bisexuals and gay and lesbian people share a lot: the experience of same-sex attraction and the resulting homophobia and exclusion from the straight world. They differ in that bisexuals may be in opposite-sex relationships, which can bring social acceptance and privilege from the mainstream. Bisexuals may also experience the added prejudice of biphobia, which can come from gay men and lesbians as well as straights.

http://www.xtra.ca/public/Toronto/The_fencesitters-1901.aspx

(It's an old article, but it's really, really good.)

As a bisexual woman, I can totally relate to this article. After I came out as bi after having previously identified as a lesbian, a lot of not only my straight friends, but my gay and lesbian friends treated me differently. I have a couple friends that, whenever I express attraction to a guy, they'll kind of make jokes about it or act disappointed. Bisexuals may get "the best of both worlds", but we, as one woman in a bisexual group I'm part of said, also get the crap from both worlds!

Thoughts?

[xchrom]

1. i don't know -- as a full on gay man -- i don't think i'd date anymore

if it weren't for bi men -- it's who i run into and are available.

besides it's like the sign says it's the lgBtiq community.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. you know, your opennes to life and real understanding and acceptance of human beings

never ceases to amaze me

[xchrom]

3. and i just plain old ordinary

adore you.

:loveya:

[TheWraith]

4. Kicked and recommended. nt

[Gedankenaustausch]

5. It's like turning your back on a team.

The team is there for you, and supports you in every way, and then BAM!! They kick you out. I think that gay people get too caught up in the labels that have been applied to us. I recently saw Chuck D (of Public Enemy fame) give a lecture at the University of Alabama where he stated that labels are something applied to you by people who are not like you so they can fit you into a little group with a title to make them feel more comfortable. Furthermore, he went on that government uses labels like this to draw lines in society to further divide communities for political gain of the people in the government. My personal view on sexuality is that it is a fluid, constantly changing thing. When you stick yourself to a certain group, you have to live by their laws. This includes turning your back on someone who leaves the group. It's very animalistic if you think about it. I feel that a lot of males who identify as gay, do it because it is easier than saying bisexual. Furthermore, many guys who don't want to be identified as gay because of the perceived stigma associated with it, identify as bisexual. In the words of T.I. "Just live your life." We get too caught up in labeling ourself as belonging to a specific community. When we do this we then engage in behavior such as turning our back on a good friend just because she/he decided to try something different, perhaps something that other people in the group have wanted to do, but haven't had the guts to, because they are committed to a certain group, even if this means lying to yourself. When we do this it really runs contrary to what the GLBT community is all about, which is being a community. We call it a community because it is a community of support for those whom society has turned their back on, because we know what it feels like to be different. And then, low and behold, we do the same thing that we shame society for. It is quite the double standard. Sorry you had to go through it.

[Eryemil]

6. "Bisexual" has a lot of ugly connotations to a lot of people

In my case, the first thing I think about are all the married "bisexual" men in craigslist and manhunt. You know most of them are just faggots in an unfortunate situation.
And I couldn't hate those guys more if I tried, so a bit of that animosity sort of bleeds through sometimes.

So yes, it's partly bias from the community and partly a bad rep. I think it is up to the bisexual people to disassociate themselves from that image, the rest of us will just have to work through our own prejudices.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. i think you are putting the burden on the wrong people. its up to gay people

to stop pretending they are bi, when they are not.

[Eryemil]

8. Well, I'm being realistic. The closet cases are not likely to come out en masse any time soon

In the meantime, we have to deal with it.