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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:23 PM
Original message
I finally uttered the words "I am gay" to my class
Edited on Wed Mar-18-09 08:30 PM by dsc
So far, so good. I think it was sort of anti climatic in that many really knew but some were genuinely shocked. It has only been a day so we will see how it goes. On edit I am the teacher of the class.
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:26 PM
Response to Original message
1. Class at school? If so, what grade are you in? nt
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. He's the guy in the front of the class whose job it is to keep the kids from burning down the school
:)
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. One of my teachers has recently done this, but it was a poetry class, so none of us cared.
Still took some guts though, unfortunately.
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #7
15. I didn't know of any open at my high school...
... but I graduated in 2000 so that was a while ago.

Only openly gay faculty member I know of at my college was the advisor for the GLBT Pride Alliance my first semester here. I don't know who's the advisor this year, haven't had time to see what they're up to.
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davidinalameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 12:25 AM
Response to Reply #15
33. I had two lesbian teachers in high school
and it was common knowledge

of course one of them taught PE so it wasn't that much of a surprise


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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #7
16. Not a poet here
math. I was nervous but they pretty much knew anyhow.
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. Math class can be rough compared to a poety class since math is required and poetry is not.
Everyone takes math, but few take poetry.

I am not a poet either, but I took the class to learn more about the subject.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 09:03 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. It is required
but so would the non poetry the other teacher was teaching (I am presuming he teaches English his other classes). Any teacher has some guts when he or she comes out.
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. "he teaches English his other classes"
Yes.

Any teacher has some guts when he or she comes out.

Agreed, unfortunately.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. I meant
that he presumedly teaches like Freshman or Sophomore English the other periods. Glad you all took his gayness so well.
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. Yes, she does.
Glad you all took his gayness so well.

Me too, but he is a she.
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knowbody0 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:29 PM
Response to Original message
2. well, I love you for your courage and
wish you well.

stay strong, and love yourself!
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:29 PM
Response to Original message
4. Not an easy thing to do.
:hug:
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:35 PM
Response to Reply #4
13. I was a tad nervous
but I didn't expect a bunch of fainting sheep over this.
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Arctic Dave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
5. I remember the day our daughter "came out".
I think she was was a bit surprised by our subdued response. She must have thought she was the first gay person we knew.
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marketcrazy1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:33 PM
Response to Reply #5
9. what grade do you teach?
and congrats, it is part of who you are. it is wonderful that we live in a world where you feel comfortable enough to reveal your true self to your students...
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Lint Head Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:32 PM
Response to Original message
6. It was a brave thing for you to do. Now you have actually slain one
of the demons that nagged you.

:loveya:
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Mollis Donating Member (812 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
8. Very brave.
I wish you well. And I hope no one in the class is stupid :hug:
What grade do you teach?
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:39 PM
Response to Reply #8
14. mostly seniors
but some juniors and sophomores.
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donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
10. I hope you find
it the most freeing thing you've ever done. Some people may not approve but most will come around. We should all be very proud of you.
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noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:34 PM
Response to Original message
11. very cool that you felt comfortable enough to do that. (n/t)
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Buck Laser Donating Member (566 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:34 PM
Response to Original message
12. That makes you a REAL human being! Congratulations!
I hope you have a support community around you to make being out easier to take the inevitable complaints that are likely to come.

Please keep us posted on how it goes.
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Not Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:45 PM
Response to Original message
17. That's great!!
I'll bet it must feel good. You'll probably lay in bed for some time thinking it all over and over.
And tomorrow it will seem like it's always been.

Love and hugs to you.
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Vanje Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:49 PM
Response to Original message
19. Very good!
Bet they already knew.
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JohnnyLib2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:54 PM
Response to Original message
20. Big day for you.
:thumbsup: :applause:
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Maat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
21. Congrats!
It was a very brave thing to do.

I hope that everyone supports you in the way that they should.
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daninthemoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
26. not entirely unrelated: recently, a teacher here in Oklahoma was
forced to resign because she had her class working on a production of the Laramie Project. the teacher was emphasizing the civil rights and legalities of thew murder, but i'm sure that she was fired due to the gay stuff. several students tried to stand up for her, but oklahoma is pretty weird about suck stuff.
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Sequoia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #26
45. That's just terrible.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 09:45 PM
Response to Original message
27. Congratulations, dsc.
I know that you've been debating that for some time and appreciate how much courage that must have taken.

:hug:
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Fearless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
28. Congratulations!
And not to make light, but did you hear about that bill running around the TN state house wanting to make it illegal for teachers to even describe non-heterosexual activity in elementary and middle school classrooms? Just curious.

And CONGRATS AGAIN!
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 10:28 PM
Response to Original message
29. I'm happy for you, dsc.
And I'm glad you finally felt comfortable enough to do so. I hope you're not expecting to get any negative feedback, and don't.
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knitter4democracy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
30. You are amazing, powerful, and a beautiful soul.
They will always remember this, and who knows what true good you've done for them. You have made it personal for them, made them realize that someone they like, trust, and respect is that bogeyman they hear about at home, at church, wherever. You are making them think.

:hug:
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
31. I hope it goes well.
:hug:

That was a good and brave thing. I hope it makes a really good positive impact on those kids. :)
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-18-09 11:52 PM
Response to Original message
32. I wish you the best and happiest outcome.
It must be a load off your mind on many levels, being open and truthful.

Be safe, be successful, you are a caring teacher and talented, the community is lucky to have you.

:thumbsup:
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dickthegrouch Donating Member (838 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 12:49 AM
Response to Original message
34. Congratulations dsc
I wish I had known anyone else when I was in high school.
Rest assured that you have assisted a student today as well.
Love Dick
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struggle4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 12:50 AM
Response to Original message
35. That took courage, considering you're not exactly in San Francisco
I don't think I ever discussed anything but math in my math classes, but of course students do ask all sorts of questions

I've been asked about my religion or whether we could say a class prayer before the test (These are private matters), why I thought I was qualified to teach and what was wrong with my attitude (You're welcome to come talk to me after class), and so on

Once a number of people in my class, who had heard me discussing apartheid on the radio, wanted to talk about South Africa (Let's stick to math)

Here, have a beer: :beer:

Most kids aren't bad people

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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 04:20 AM
Response to Reply #35
36. yeah they do like to get off task
and I usually do say lets stick to math. This came up since we are doing a blood drive and I was asked why I wasn't donating. I said why.
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Zuiderelle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 07:08 AM
Response to Reply #36
37. Good for you, and good for you for explaining it in that context.
Teach them a little about the discrimination you face during blood drives, while also coming out.

Congratulations! I admire the courage it must have taken.

:toast:

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tbyg52 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 08:18 AM
Response to Reply #36
38. I don't know what to say
Because so many things spring to mind!

Brave soul! Thank you! Congratulations! Best wishes!

:toast:
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foxfeet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
39. Congratulations and good for you!
:applause:
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4_TN_TITANS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 10:58 AM
Response to Original message
40. That took some guts...
It would be career suicide for a teacher to do that here in Tennessee. My wife is terrified of kids/parents even seeing her smoke or drink.
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tekisui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 11:01 AM
Response to Original message
41. Congratulations.
Your self-confidence and courage will teach your students a more valuable lesson that the entire semester of math. Good for you! I wish you the best.

:hug: :yourock:
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enigmatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 12:12 PM
Response to Original message
42. Congrats, my friend
Both my brother and one of my best friends asked me (a straight guy) to be there w/ them for support when they came out to family, and I know what a nerve wracking and high stress moment it was for them, so I can only imagine how it must have been for you. :hug:
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TheWraith Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 01:36 PM
Response to Original message
43. "Some were genuinely shocked" - This is good for teaching.
Now you know who the slow learners are.

Congrats.
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mitchtv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 04:03 PM
Response to Original message
44. Good for you dsc
This probably makes you a target for some, Stay vigilant
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Mike 03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
46. This is so awesome.
Edited on Thu Mar-19-09 06:02 PM by Mike 03
It brings back such memories. My absolute favorite teacher in High School was gay, and I guess it was assumed but not validated. Nobody seemed to care, but he was the greatest teacher and I have always wondered to this day how he felt about that aspect of his life in relation to his teaching. He didn't try to hide it, as far as I could see.

I think students love a great teacher regardless of any other factors.

Great teachers don't grow on trees, and students feel intense loyalty and devotion towards their teachers, in my experience.

Keep us posted.

EDIT: Kick and Rec

There's nothing more important to a young person than a great teacher. Teachers change lives, maybe even more than parents sometimes.



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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 06:16 PM
Response to Reply #46
47. That is a hard question to answer
I think my fear is that being gay might overwhelm anything else about me. I want to be more than just gay.
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Mike 03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 06:31 PM
Response to Reply #47
48. I can only tell you, that I had so much respect for my teachers who were gay, and such
Edited on Thu Mar-19-09 06:32 PM by Mike 03
gratitude that it never would have made a difference.

In college, one of my writing teachers turned out to have AIDS, and it only gave me more respect for him, because he was ailing and he told no-one, but he worked so incredibly hard to be a good teacher. Only after the fact were we told he was Gay and had AIDS. We were so devoted to him, it had not impact at all except we were sad we could not say goodbye to him.

They say "money makes the world go around."

I think Teachers make the world go around.
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Juche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-19-09 10:00 PM
Response to Original message
49. nice
Edited on Thu Mar-19-09 10:01 PM by Juche
Studies by Solomon Asch and Stanley Milgram have shown that when one person stands up and does something a little unpopular, others follow suit.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asch_conformity_experiments#Results

"In the basic Asch paradigm, the participants — the real subject and the confederates — were all seated in a classroom. They were asked a variety of question about the lines (which line was longer than the other, which lines were the same length, etc.) The group was told to announce their answers to each question out loud and the confederates always provided their answers before the study participant. The confederates always gave the same answer as each other. They answered a few questions correctly but eventually began providing incorrect responses.

In a control group, with no pressure to conform to an erroneous view, only 1 subject out of 35 ever gave an incorrect answer. However, when surrounded by individuals all voicing an incorrect answer, participants provided incorrect responses on a high proportion of the questions (36.8%). 75% of the participants gave an incorrect answer to at least one question.

When the confederates are not unanimous in their judgment, even if only 1 confederate voices a different opinion, participants are much more likely to resist the urge to conform than when the confederates all agree. This finding illuminates the power that even a small dissenting minority can have. Interestingly, this finding holds whether or not the dissenting confederate gives the correct answer. As long as the dissenting confederate gives an answer that is different from the majority, participants are more likely to give the correct answer."


I came out in my school newspaper as someone who has had schizophrenia. Every little bit of stigma busting helps no matter what the cause.
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JI7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-20-09 02:19 AM
Response to Original message
50. good for you
you might not know it but it probably has a positive impact on a student that might be gay or even just people who know others who are gay.

the younger generation is a lot more accepting and supportive than they were before also.
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proud2BlibKansan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-20-09 10:02 AM
Response to Original message
51. Good for you.
What a wonderful thing for you to do.

I had a couple gay teachers in high school. They were forced to stay in the closet. How wonderful to know we have come far enough that you can be open to your class.
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-20-09 06:09 PM
Response to Original message
52. this is good
:thumbsup:
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roughsatori Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-20-09 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
53. My sister came out by screaming at our mom: I'm a dyke and I love it.
My mom fell to the floor. Truly she could not stand. My baby sis was 14 at the time. I started laughing hysterically. My parents blamed me, as I've been a butch-bookworm gay since the womb. And am 9 years older. Man, I love my sister.


Congratulations. I know you have written in the past about coming out to your students. Keep us informed.
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David Zephyr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-21-09 02:08 PM
Response to Original message
54. I'm proud of you, dsc.
And the sky didn't fall either! I am very proud of you. "Life is just a sham until we say I am what I am."
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-21-09 02:56 PM
Response to Reply #54
55. thanks
I was mostly waiting for a good opportunity and the blood drive presented itself. No drama as of yet.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 01:18 PM
Response to Original message
56. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #56
57. I usually do
but when asked why I am not giving blood, despite telling others to do so, I answered honestly. Also, many of my collegues have pictures of their spouses and significant others on their desks. Are they flaunting their heterosexuality?
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Zuiderelle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 05:05 PM
Response to Reply #56
58. Saying that you're gay in response to a question about why you don't donate blood...
is not "injecting your sexuality." But you responding to a thread like this in the GLBT forum, exposes something about you.


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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 08:05 PM
Response to Reply #58
64. That sums up the hate position nicely, it's OK to talk about your wife
or kids but please don't think you are a full human being who can simply state a fact about who you are.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #56
59. How about if the class is filled with snot-nosed little twerps???
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Two Americas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #56
60. weird
Who would join DU, go immediately to the GLBT forum, and make a hit and run inflammatory post?

Please stop injecting.
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 07:50 PM
Response to Reply #60
61. There's a pattern here-a familiar pattern at that.
RW trolls joining on a Sunday night for a little sport baiting.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 07:59 PM
Response to Reply #61
62. We should cook popcorn ahead of time for Sunday nights.
They are here like clockwork. :eyes:
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 08:02 PM
Response to Reply #62
63. They're never good at it, either. Bring a small bag.
:evilgrin:
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Chovexani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-27-09 01:01 AM
Response to Original message
65. I know I am late to this thread
But I still wanted to say how very happy I am for you. I know how difficult this whole situation has been for you and I am glad it's worked out for the best.

Your students are very lucky to have you! :hug:
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