Just Recieved an Anti Gay Comment from an Ebay User

[romantico]

Looking for some advice. I am literally shocked by this!

I sell items on ebay from time to time and just recently sold some stuff.I have a ton of address labels that I have collected over the years. For something like ebay and bills and stuff I tend to use the ones I get for free sent to me in the mail. I have pink ribbon,Peta labels,Humane Society,Cancer society,etc. Well, I also have a sheet of red ribbon labels. So, I sent off last week my ebay items using mostly the red ribbon address labels. Here is the note I got this morning from a ebay buyer.

"Just got my item and I love it. Thanks. I already left positive feedback for you and was hoping you would do the same.By the way,just some friendly advice.I would tone down and rethink the address labels.Most people don't like political agenda's jammed down their throat."

I was really disturbed by this. My gut tells me not to respond and ignore it. However, I am truly disturbed by this. Nothing threatening but I am still disturbed by it. AM I over reacting or should I just dismiss it as some Nut?

[rockymountaindem]

1. It's a pity that some people see AIDS research as a political statement

But, there's nothing you can do about it unless you're willing to engage with an exchange with that person, which would likely be pointless.

[Dawgs]

2. An address label is 'jamming a political agenda down their throat' - WOW!!.

I would ignore it.

[FreeState]

4. +1 n/t

[Renew Deal]

3. I'm not sure if it's worth dealing with.

You already knew there were people like this out there. If you respond, you will end up in a cycle of hostility. Part of the reason someone would leave a message like this is they are nuts!

There's 10 different ways you could respond. Negative feedback. Negative feedback with a message saying this person is a homophobe. An email saying it's not a political agenda, it's real life. FU. And a bunch of other things. But all of those are hostile. The simplest thing is to not leave any feedback.

[meegbear]

5. Agreed, take the high road and ignore it

[romantico]

10. As a Seller

I can not leave negative feedback and I wouldn't anyway. They paid for the item fast and I had no problem with them.I took it personally having known people who have died of AIDS.I could send them a PM back telling them how hurt I was and put them on my block list but I feel it may engage in some heated debate. I do not think I will be leaving any feedback for them though.

[Orrex]

You're not over-reacting, but there's not much you can do about it

I'd suggest that you not respond to it in any way. Leave whatever feedback you would have left before the asshole made his/her asshole comment.

Ebay won't likely help you since the comment was external to the sale itself.


You simply had the misfortune of conducting business with a jackass. Continue using whatever stamps or labels you're inclined to use.

[Sebastian Doyle]

6. And why are the homophobes always worried about something being "jammed down their throat"?

Other than the sudden right wing obsession with "teabagging", it's the most hilarious thing those fools say in spite of themselves.

[Orrex]

7. Sometimes they worry about having it 'shoved in [their] faces'

Such hot, throbbing rhetoric gets me all a-quiver!

[Arkansas Granny]

8. You aren't the one who is over reacting. I would just ignore it.

[jobycom]

9. Ignore it.

Your reaction is understandable, but the responder just seems ignorant.

I get letters and checks at my work sometimes with crosses or flags or other symbols of religion or politics. Even when I agree with them, I frown a little, thinking it's unprofessional. I would never respond, but I do have that impulse, and it's based on professionalism, not on my own leanings in any direction. Maybe that's all he meant.

Either way, you aren't going to change him, he didn't take any bias out on you in the form of a negative review, and for all you know he may have meant well. Go with your instinct, ignore him.

That's my impression. It could be altered with a strong enough argument, I admit. :)

[zerox]

11. I agree with this.

There was nothing wrong with what you sent. But to be honest, I feel that putting any type of marking on a package other than that which is related to the purchase itself is somewhat unprofessional and should be avoided.

[jobycom]

13. That wasn't really my point.

I wasn't saying the OP did anything wrong, I was just explaining that the person who emailed him may have had other reasons than homophobia for his response.

[zerox]

16. I know.

nm

[Hepburn]

12. OK, label me ignorant....

...but I thought the YELLOW ribbons had to do with AIDS research?

:shrug:

I have gay neighbors and this is the kind of ribbon the one has on the back of his auto...and they have a yellow ribboned tied on one of the trees in their yard.

I never associated a red ribbon with AIDS or research regarding AIDS. Is this something new?

TIA for any info...:hi:

And, BTW: I would ignore the comment ~~ AIDS is not a problem limited to the gay community. IIRC, the highest rate of incident at this time is with black female teens....but I could be wrong about this.

[SoCalNative]

18. No red ribbons have always been the symbol for AIDS research

and related causes. Yellow ribbons are affiliated with either the American hostages in Iran or soldiers away at war.

[sinkingfeeling]

19. Red shows solidarity with people with HIV/AIDS and yellow is used for teen suicide

prevention as well as awaiting the return of some loved one. At least, that's the way I learned them.


Correcting wording

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

21. It's always been red

Yellow ribbons are to support the troops.

[Hepburn]

22. Thank you for the replies.....

...I never knew until today that a red ribbon was for AIDS research.

:hi:

[sinkingfeeling]

14. I would ignore it because you really don't know if the person is centering in on the red ribbon or

if they would have written the same thing if you'd used a Sierra Club or Greenpeace address label. Since it was written as 'friendly advice', I would just take it as such. The person may have had good intentions and wanted to protect you from some real Nut case.

[tbyg52]

25. I agree. I don't like anything with my purchases except my purchases, unless

it's from DU or The Nation, etc. - something that I know in advance has a certain point of view.

I'm not saying it wasn't a worthy sentiment, at all. Just that I wouldn't like anything associated with any cause to come with my purchase, with the exceptions I mentioned.

Haven't got a clue what the responder meant - hopefully something along the lines of my opinion, and not a complaint that it wasn't a worthy cause.

[SoCalNative]

15. I think this would be a perfect opportunity

to sign them up for some interesting mailing lists..if you get my drift...

[InvisibleTouch]

17. I would be pissed...

...and my first reaction would be to write an angry e-mail back. Fortunately I've learned with the years to give it at least some breathing space before I fire off a reply, and then ask myself if it's worth the stress and hostility (often it's not) - or if it's a matter of honor to reply in a calm but factual manner to put the person in their place. As long as the buyer didn't actually post the comment in your public feedback, you could walk away from it and spare yourself the hassle. However, I think this person needs a wake-up call if he thinks a return address label is "shoving a political agenda down their throat," and is offended by an important cause. Given the situation you describe, I would probably reply ... but not until a few hours had passed, so I could do so without sounding angry.

Whatever you do, keep using your address labels.

[pacalo]

20. That divisive attitude is Bush's *real* legacy. I'd send her an "oops" using another red-ribbon

address label.

[Lint Head]

23. You obviously received this response from an ignorant person.

Simple rule of thumb, ignore the ignorant.
:dem:

[RetiredTrotskyite]

24. Wow.

That person really has a problem. If using a red ribbon on a label constitutes jamming a political agenda down this person's throat, this person desperately needs to get a life. But then anything that upsets a wingnut is seen as pushing a political agenda down one's throat. Sad.

My only thought reading that comment is that the right-wing is so mean-spirited that they see even the thought of AIDS research uncomfortable. Pitiful human beings.

[xchrom]

26. medical research for a disease is politcal? -- who knew? nt

[bluedawg12]

27. Let it go, don't cast pearls before swine.

The best revenge--sell more on Ebay.

My reasoning: You won't change an ignorant fool like that and you can be harmed on your business.

[NMMNG]

28. Wanting to prevent and cure a pandemic disease is a "political agenda"?

It's good you didn't send one of the pink ribbon labels. The guy would have gone apoplectic.

Freaking RRRWers are such fuckwits.

[Toasterlad]

29. I'd Say There's a Bit of an Over-Reaction on Both Sides.

The person clearly was not trying to be antagonistic, however ignorant they may be. You are free to be as upset as you'd like about the response, but, since that's the case, why let it bother you? You'll never need to interact with that person again. Not worth getting upset about, IMO. However, if you really are determined to take action, you could send them a nicely worded response saying that no harm was meant by the red ribbon, and that you don't believe that AIDS is a political issue. But be prepared for something REALLY offensive in response.

[roughsatori]

34. MY Sister is a born-again Southern Baptist and she is a hateful wench

But her rudeness is couched in Biblical terms and her favorite: "I like you and don't want to offend, but you better change the way you (fill in blank). Because people who love Christ will be offended and won't buy your products." Some people like that are passive aggressive-like the rube's response to the writer of the OP.

I feel better when I express my anger and disappointment to others.

[MsUnderstood]

30. that isnt an anti gay comment

it is a private suggestion that as a salesperson you shouldn't add your political ideas to your product because it could deter potential customers.

[roughsatori]

35. Though I disagree with you, I understand your point of view

Perhaps if the suggestion was made by a well trained salesperson I would agree. But, my own experience has been that those polite notes of corrections are really put-downs couched in kindness - because the seller does not want bad feedback or the hostility - he may deserve.

Though I am in agreement too: My last job was training Licensed and Degreed therapists for "one on one" sessions with the chronically mentally ill. The Therapists always refused to take off their Star of David, and Crucifix necklaces, and even political buttons. It was bad form as our clients frequently became delusional after seeing the therapists jewelry. Eventually, I had to write all of them up as a first offence towards being fired. We found that even family pictures upset our "straight from the State Institution for the Violent and Mentally Ill" clients. The therapists refused to take down the photos until I hung a large one of my boyfriend, and the staff freaked out, and took their heterosexual love photos down. I am a male.

Note: The clients I am writing about were Schizophrenics, "Bi-Polar" and "Narcissistic Personalities." to enter the facility I managed clients had to be in prison, or a state hospital with a violent history. One client had raped 3 woman, another had strangled his room-mate. One very gentle man attempted to strangle a women for wearing a s"satanic" pin. It was a Santa Clause pin.

[TEmperorHasNoClothes]

31. if you're going to respond...

There's nothing overtly antigay in the comment (even though we know what it is). Ebay won't do anything and I don't see the point of confronting some anonymous customer. If you feel like you need to respond say soemthing like, "I've never heard anyone call wanting to cure the global AIDs epidemic political. I thought it was human decency." That way you're reminding her it's not a gay disease while making her seem petty.

[Skittles]

32. fuck ignoring it; silence equals agreement

I'd definitely respond

[roughsatori]

33. I'm with you. Silence does not work

Respond on Ebay: Give poor feedback that the buyer was rude and ill-informed. Then mail him a free box of Ribbons, with the explanation of their meaning. I would suggest you shit in the box, but you might get arrested.