Everyday more homophobic garbage spews from her mouth.

[Rising Phoenix]

I live with her, and it just keeps getting worse. Several times she has been told I am bisexual, but its like she blocks it out. And just keeps spewing hate. Hate for her daughter. The only good thing is I have become quite eloquent in standing up for civil rights, though she doesn't agree that gblt rights are civil rights. But I will keep fighting the good fight, god I need to move.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

1. Does she profess to be Christian?

If so, remind her of the story that says 'as you do unto the least of these, you do unto Me'
:)

[Rising Phoenix]

yes, or rather cathoilic....very catholic

Thank you for responding. I once brought up that point, but apparently since we are sick and choose our path, we (glbt and friends) do not get extended that courtesy. It is saved for those who choose to follow god. But not immigrants. jeebus

[Smarmie Doofus]

2. Ugh. No one should have to live like that.

I don't know what your circumstances are but perhaps you can share an apt somewhere. Boston is expensive but ... it sounds like your emotional health is at stake.

Mom's caught in a loop. You're too close, I suspect. Putting some physical distance between you her might give her the chance to calm down and reassess.

Sorry.

[Rising Phoenix]

3. Thanks

It has definitely become a mental health issue. I am in the process of looking for housing, be it subsidized, public.....but not in Boston, preferably further away. Like you said, physical distance is needed. :hi:

[sarge43]

4. Yeah, get away.

What your mother is doing is abuse. She's chipping away at your self-esteem.

[Rising Phoenix]

6. she is gifted at that

to tell you the truth at this point she just makes me angry and determined to make myself happy.

[sarge43]

8. What a shame.

Well, angry is better than depressed or humiliated. But you don't need any negative emotions, so time to say adios. Her loss. No point in both of you being miserable.

I hope you find nice digs and someday your mom gets her act together.

[Rising Phoenix]

10. thanks

I'll keep you updated on my house search!

[graywarrior]

5. She's terrified.

But you can't help her. It ain't you...it's her.

[Rising Phoenix]

7. yes, definitely

I don't want to help her, she has her "path" and I have mine. They are very different. And the fact that they are leading away from each other, well, that is not my fault.

[graywarrior]

9. It amazes me that fear will turn someone away from their child.

There are other women out there willing to mother. I found that out after years of abandonment.

[Rising Phoenix]

11. As have I.

I stopped telling my mom much of anything after the way she reacted to my sexuality and my illness.

[graywarrior]

12. Become your own parent.

That's all I can say.

[pup_ajax]

13. Speak up for yourself but don't fight her ...

Words have power -- and work both ways. You *might* find it useful to simply respond to her insults by saying "I will not allow you to bully me with your hurtful and harmful words. I reject them and will be happy and emotionally whole in this lifetime." Or something to that effect. :)

[Divine Discontent]

14. excellent! proper without fighting in the mom's home, but pushing off of the judgment from her! eom

[Divine Discontent]

15. hmmm, what is she feeling guilty?

God bless you OP! I am a Gay person, who is Christian by choice - not the other way around. You tell your mom that Jesus Christ's compassion is for all and anybody that stands in the way of judging only what HE is to judge will be held accountable. I would not choose to be anything that so many people cruelly judge - however, in saying that, I am who I am and how I was made and there's no more shame in that than if we we're into liking the opposite gender.

Your mom harbors guilt either for past things she did, or that you're Lesbian and she cannot believe she caused this somehow...

It's her shame. Not yours. You're doing good in being strong!

[Bluebear]

16. I was going to ask on which board here so I could go tell her a thing or two.

The best to you, really. I wish you could get out of there!

[donheld]

17. Go find a copy of Crisis

http://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Stories-Revealing-Personal-Religious/dp/1929774109/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243232162&sr=1-1

[Rising Phoenix]

18. thanks for the link.....I'll look into that

of course I'm already grown up, 31, in fact, and my stop at home is temporary, but it looks like a fascinating read.

[ZombieHorde]

19. "I have become quite eloquent in standing up for civil rights" = Awesome

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[TheWraith]

20. I strongly suggest you get out of there as soon as you can. Really.

I understand the desire to try and tough it out and make it work, but really, some people will NOT change their behavior no matter how damaging it is to other people.

If you can't get out soon, I suggest trying to bring in a little moral support. Have friends over who won't hesitate to tell her in brutal honesty the things that you yourself can't get through her head. Sometimes hearing it from a stranger helps knock some sense into a person.