Why We Need Marriage

[AldebTX]

I had a good friend die last night in a car accident shortly after midnight. He was survived by his parents and his partner of 15 years. He has lived in the Dallas area for 10 years with his partner and his parents live hundreds of miles away in Northern Oklahoma. He was a gay man, part of a long term gay couple and up until last night was in many ways part of what the country sees as a "normal" gay relationship.

He had a wonderful circle of friends who he called "family" and we have the standard get togethers to celebrate all the standard holidays. In our circle we often commented on how while they weren't "legally" married, they certainly as close to marriage as they could be, having filled out all the legal forms, powers of attorney etc.

Now enters the part of WHY we need marriage. After my friend's accident, which took his life, his partner of 15 years and his only real "family" for hundreds of miles was not allowed to get any information from the police on the scene, the hospital, and other agencies. Why? Because he was not a spouse or family.

While he had all the "legal" docs and powers of attorney, how many people when they lose the love of their lives THINK to grab a stupid piece of paper that has all the correct attorney's signatures, etc.

His partner found out about the accident from his partner's family who lives hundreds of miles away. The family was contacted by local police who contacted his next of kin. The accident happened just a few miles from his own home. His partner was understandably in shock. His frustration with authorities, who legally could not give him information was devastating.

I know there will be several suggestions of what SHOULD of been done. My point is it shouldn't have to be done. If they could of been married, the benefits of that marriage would make having all the correct legal papers in place mute.

Think about it. Gay people aren't asking for special rights. They are asking for the same rights that everyone needs to just get by.

I apologize in advance if I didn't communicate clearly enough, misspelled something or used bad grammar.

[RKP5637]

1. Recommend!!! n/t

[Uben]

2. Agreed

I am sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the frustration. While I am a straight Texas male, I have several gay and lesbian friends. My wife is a retired family counselor, and most all of our gay and lesbian friends are from that relationship. She still helps them deal with their problems daily.

My marriage 15 years ago exposed me to the plights of the LGBT community. Like most straight Texas males, I really didn't care much about their struggles. Hell, I had enough of my own! But, after listening to my wife, day in and day out, helping these friends, I became an advocate for their rights. They are folks just like me and you, but for some reason, we expect them to be treated differently because they do not follow our beliefs about sexual attraction? I don't care who is in your bedroom. If you love that person, you should be able to marry them.

The constitution gives every American the right to persue happiness. I have never seen the part where it excludes gays.

[Duncan Grant]

7. Thank you for your empathy and advocacy.

I appreciate your post, very much. :thumbsup:

[LittleOne]

3. I am so sorry about your friend

This is crazy that we can't get married here. And it is horrible stuff like this that just brings it home.

My partner and I have started the immigration process to Canada so we can get married and live openly.

[SocialistLez]

4. Isn't it sad we have to have marriage for such basic things?

I personally don't think you should have to be married to have those rights.

www.beyondmarriage.org

I am sorry for your friend.

[Creideiki]

5. Spam, eggs, ham, bacon and spam--that's not got much

Thanks for your concern, though! I'm sure you're a wonderful human being!

[SocialistLez]

9. "I'm sure you're a wonderful human being!"

??

[MNBrewer]

6. yes, and

it's not an argument against marriage equality.

[Duncan Grant]

8. We need stories like yours to help create context and empathy.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for sharing this here.