Have you ever mistaken friendliness for cruisiness?

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[philosophie_en_rose]

1. no. but i've mistaken lies for truthiness.

;)

[mitchtv]

2. Confession: I kissed a straight guy once

I kind of blew his mind. I mistook his friendliness. How embarrassing!

[begin_within]

4. Then did he ask you to continue blowing parts of him?

[dsc]

3. Once

I was sure a guy was gay and we had hit it off and then he introduced me to his wife. I was floored. We are good friends to this day but boy was I wrong.

[begin_within]

5. That doesn't mean that he doesn't also... oh never mind.

[dsc]

11. She would kill him or me or both

But he also clearly loves her bigtime.

[TechBear_Seattle]

6. If you want to confuse your gaydar...

Try visiting a conservative rural town. I kid you not: when I lived in a small town in central California, the married-with-four-kids organist of the Episcopal Church (extremely conservative; the main service still used the 1928 Book of Common Prayer) out flamed Carson of "Queer Eye."

[TrogL]

8. You really have to watch out for them organists

[karlrschneider]

13. What's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.
:D

[dsc]

10. No kidding

It is so hard to tell who is gay and who isn't in a small southern town.

[sui generis]

12. nah, maybe they just wanted to mix things up

sometimes bi people think gay people are cruising for curious, both sides. They may have been a little disappointed too!

:P

Best thing to remember is, the world does not and should not revolve primarily around sex, no matter how steamy the fantasy. Thing #2 to remember: the fantasy is almost always better than the reality, and doesn't have any strings or drama or hurt feelings attached.

[kansasblue]

7. lonely straight guys......

They're just looking for friendship but sometimes I mistake that.

[davidinalameda]

9. I live in the SF Bay Area

my gaydar has been on the fritz since I moved here

I thought one of our IT guys was flirting with me until I found out about his wife and kid

he's just very friendly-I love him dearly

[tjwmason]

14. I've mistaken cruisiness for friendliness.

Especially from women.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. me too!

[closeupready]

15. I guess so.

In college in a very gay-friendly town, there was a deli where I'd go to get sandwiches, and there was a guy who worked there who was very friendly with me; I really wanted him and he invited me once to meet him to go get a meal. During our meeting, I explained I was gay, and he said he was straight. I was confused about where this was going, so I left rather quickly after that. I'm not sure now if his disappointed look in parting was disappointment that I didn't make a pass at him anyway (which is what I thought at the time), or disappointment that I didn't want to pursue a friendship with him. Now I think it was the second case - where was my head back then??? :( I guess that's part of a sort of learning curve.

[swimmernsecretsea]

17. Yup. Happened again recently.

I think it was because I was dating a bi guy for a while. But it was the nicest rejection I've ever had. We're still friends and have lunch and go to fun things like movies once in a while.

[swimboy]

18. It's called HOPE!!

Usually if people are honest and kind-hearted, everybody gets through it with no scars, but there is a learning curve.

And yes, I've been surprised sometimes being friendly to a woman and all of a sudden, I think, uh-oh, she's not getting this. Or a better way of putting it is TJ's phrase, they "mistake friendliness for cruisiness."