Question About Foley

[iamjoy]

Help me understand this - but I'm being honest, so please be nice.

When I found out about Foley's innappropriate correspondance with a sixteen year old, I first thought it was a girl. And I'm like, that's wrong. But when I found out it was a boy, I was doubly disgusted.

I don't consider myself a homophobe. I support full equality for gays and have signed petitions as such. So why do I somehow think it's more wrong to have such innappropriate correspondance with a young man than it is to have it with a young woman?

[xchrom]

1. you have a cultural double standard.

lots of people do -- liberals who support marriage equality also have ''icks'' over certain situations.

[Lerkfish]

2. I think that's true, but I also think the perception is with

hetero predation, people believe there COULD be reciprocal consent, but with homosexual predation, people wonder whether it was reciprocal or whether the older is "recruiting" to an alternative lifestyle.

not saying this is my perception, but I suggest this is part of the difference.

[sam sarrha]

4. until certain age children cant make appropriate and effective decisions

about certain things.. predators know this and use it to abuse.. predation such as Foley's can escalate gradually to the point where something is done and the shame of the action can result in harm or death to the victim to hide the action because of frear of anyone else knowing they are a human magot and will be killed in prison 10 minutes after they get there.

[xchrom]

6. yes -- the ''recruiting'' thing is a magical part of

the cultural formulation.

it sets the whole thing in an arena that keeps it from being discussed rationally.

it's probably only since the 70's that child sex abuse has discussed so openly.

and it exposes all kinds of ''icky'' feelings that don't really add to the conversation or help with solutions.

[iamjoy]

8. I Never Thought Of It As Recruiting

but, my Mom (a Liberal) did, so I'm sure that thought it out there.

I more thought of it as potentially exacerbating andy existing gender confusion and sexual identity.

I don't think it's unnatural for a heterosexual person to have a physical (sexual) response to a member of the same gender. A teenager has so many hormones and emotions firing anyway. I think he could respond positively even if he really isn't gay and then just continue having relations with members of his own gender.

And you have to realize at some point true homophobes, not merely Liberal people with a double standard* are going to start using Foley as "proof" that homosexual = pervert = predator and that they are trying to "convert" kids.


* Liberal Double Standard - pro equality, but still have that homosexual "ick" factor

[xchrom]

9. you're getting a handle on it -- so to speak.

mens' sexuality -- and the continuum it exists on is just another frontier that is coming to awareness.

what we all have to realize is that the friend of child abuse is social conservatism.

[meegbear]

3. And don't forget the flip side to this ...

when a older woman does this with an underage male, it's all tongue-in-cheek "so what's the problem?" and usually brushed off as nothing major.

[xchrom]

5. that is indeed part of the complicated equation.

[iamjoy]

7. Especially If She's Attractive

it's dismissed, because people think it is a boy's fantasy come true. Pop Culture has helped encouraged such myths

Plus, let's be fair, when males have sex at least PART of them is willing. Not always the case with females.

But, if it's an adult with a teenager, do you think it could cause gender confusion? I mean, I know our preferences are mostly born and not chosen. But do you think an impressionable young person could misunderstand some of their body's responses? You know, I responded to this guy, so I MUST be gay. When with teenage boys a stiff breeze can cause a physical response.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. because male sexuality and its right to not be preyed upon

is considered more sacred than women's...

it is considered almost normal for girls to be molested ...in that it happens more often and people are more aware of this