Got the phone call from my Doc....

[SacredCow]

NEGATIVE!

:grouphug: Thanks to all of you wonderful DU'ers for the vibes and good wishes!!!! Now, to figure out what to do about the cheating significant other....

[fenriswolf]

1. i've heard poisen ivy on the genitalia sucks big time.

[SacredCow]

3. Interesting idea....

except that I'm VERY allergic to it- I would have to get someone else to apply, or I'd be in the hospital.

[donsu]

2. say bye bye to SO - nobody needs a cheater

nt

[zabet]

4. Use their

toothbrush to clean
under the rim of the
bowl of the toilet.

Glad your test was neg.

[DarkTirade]

5. Firm boot out the door, I'd say. :)

But that's just me.

Glad you're okay! :hi:

[soleft]

6. Yay!

[MADem]

7. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Surely you can do better. NT

[SacredCow]

10. Yeah, I've certainly heard that a lot.....

And I did get away, for a time- sleeping a night here, and a night there. Unfortunately, apartments (at least affordable ones) are hard to come by here lately, so I ended up back at his house with the stipulation that we were roommates and nothing more. Of course, that started the "I know I fucked up, and I don't deserve you, but please don't throw it all away... I'll go to counseling... what can I do?.... etc..." To his credit, he is going to a therapist, but it's way too soon to know if there's any progress or hope that we'll ever be an item again. We have a lot of the same friends, so we've agreed to stay friends regardless so we can still be social.

[MADem]

12. Stay roommates, if you can, but SacredCow, find yourself a new Bull!!

It'll happen again. It always does. Don't put your life "on hold" waiting to see if his therapy 'takes.' Be cheerful and friendly and positive when dealing with your Now-Friend, don't let him get shirty with you, and stay on your path!

[SacredCow]

16. Oh, I've got nothing on hold....

But I'm not really in the market for a new bull as of yet. When word got out that we were having problems, I was shocked by the number of propositions I received- It both flattered and appalled me, to be honest (appalling just because of the timing). So I'm on a Que Sera Sera path, I guess... I've got a lot of work to keep me busy, as well as an old VW Beetle that I just purchased to play with.

Time will tell what can and can not happen with us, and I'm good either way.

[MADem]

17. Who needs a bull, when you have a VW Beetle!!!

I had an early sixties VW, very many years ago...what a car!!!

That's a good luck charm, if anything is!

[SacredCow]

18. Mine's a 1979 Super Beetle convertible....

The last year the German-made ones were imported to the US, and soon after they moved all production to Mexico and Brazil.

[MADem]

19. Mine was a .... sixty three! It was yellow and had a footprint on the roof.

The previous owner was angry that it didn't start...!

It ran like a champ for a decade or more.

[SacredCow]

21. Here's a pic of my new S/O LOL

[MADem]

22. Oh, WOW--a DROP TOP!!! You're gonna have FUN this summer! nt

[SacredCow]

23. Hell, I'm gonna have fun TOMORROW!!!! n/t

[blayne]

28. That's great advise,

and you are right; once a cheater always a cheater. I think people are wired one way or the other for the most part.

[ConcernedCanuk]

13. Glad you came up clean. Question tho - has HE been tested?

.
.
.

And I'd definitely follow up on his therapy thing -

The way you have described it, he is genuinely upset with his own behavior.

So if it is in your own heart to maintain the relationship, I suggest you work with him in this therapy thing.

BUT

If it is something you can never "forgive"

Then move on.

[SacredCow]

15. He was also tested...

but the results haven't come back yet- either today or Monday, as I understand.

I don't doubt that he's upset by his own behavior- the question is whether he can or will change. My experience is that leopards CAN change their spots, but they seldom really want to. That's where his therapy comes in. I've not been asked to attend yet, but if I'm requested to I will certainly throw in my $0.02.

It's all up in the air right now- I'm living there, but it's just for convenience. He has his life, I have mine- we often will do some things together socially, but that's it for now....

[plantwomyn]

14. Just keep in your mind

How you have felt for the last few days. Every time your knees start to get week, bring up the fear and hurt of the last few days and "JUST SAY NO". If he's got to ask what he can do he ain't worth it. Pay half of the bills and get the hell out of there. Put out some feelers to friends for a room for rent ASAP if you can't get your own apartment. It isn't to his credit that he os going to a therapist. If he gets his shit together at a later date maybe he can regain your trust. Until then get out and concentrate on being good to yourself.
And OMFG wear a fucking condom!

[Arkansas Granny]

8. Great news about the tests!

About the cheating SO, get away. If they have done it once and put you at risk, there is no guarantee that you won't be playing this out again in the future. In my experience, if the one I'm with wants to be with someone else, it's time to let them go. You deserve better than that.

[mitchtv]

9. What a relief!

:party: Cut the sneak off. but remember to err is human, etc

[Touchdown]

11. Good for you. Keep safe, and dump the cheater.

:hug:

[closeupready]

20. Excellent - now dump him, and find someone you can trust!

Do you really want to go through this whole thing again and again?

[SacredCow]

24. I'm hoping to find a way to remain friends....

perhaps even still be roommates, because other than the cheating we do get along so well. But no- I don't want to go through all of the anger and worrying over my health again. It sucked.

But it was a reminder for me to go back to volunteering for the local AIDS walk.... I heard someone say that HIV wasn't an important issue anymore, and I nearly bitch-slapped him. Things are better, granted, but certainly NOT over...

[closeupready]

25. Yes, things are FAR from over.

HIV impacts quality of life, not just mortality.

[SacredCow]

26. Absolutely....

And it's a HUGE stigma. Honestly, I think I was more worried about the ramifications of health insurance, life insurance, etc... than I was mortality. I had trouble renewing my health insurance at one time because of a short-lived bout with acid reflux- I can't imagine what kind of fight it would have been with HIV.

To hear someone say that the HIV crisis is over was quite infuriating....

[dsc]

27. I am so happy for you

Congrads and kick him to the curb.