How 'gay' became children's insult of choice

[cboy4]

By Denise Winterman
BBC News Magazine

The word "gay" is now the most frequently used term of abuse in schools, says a report. How did it get to be so prevalent and why do children use homophobic insults to get at each other?

Every generation of schoolchildren has them, the playground put-downs that can leave a pupil's reputation in tatters among their peers. For the current generation, "gay", "bitch" and "slag" are the most frequently used terms of abuse, according to a survey by the Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL).

They are used by children of all ages, from nursery school upwards. But the worst offenders are secondary school pupils, says the teaching union.

The most popular by far is "gay". Of the teachers interviewed, 83% said they heard it being used regularly and much more than its nearest rivals, bitch (59%) and slag (45%). So how did it achieve this dubious honour?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7289390.stm

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. I have long wondered that. I also wondered how to handle it. I mean, if you say

"Don't say that, it's not very nice" you might give some kids the idea that "gay" is bad, you know? I guess one would have to say, "Don't say that, it's not nice the way you use it"?

[DarkTirade]

2. Slag?

WTF is slag? I've never even heard that word before. And I just went back to school.

[cboy4]

4. It's U.K. slang.....

Noun. 1. A prostitute or promiscuous woman. Also occasionally heard with reference to such men. Derog.
2. A contemptible person. Derog.
Verb To put down, verbally. Meaning the same as 'slag off'.

[DarkTirade]

5. Ah, yeah, now I see the 'bbc' in the link there. :)

[pingzing58]

3. As much as I've told my niece not to use the term she still does. She knows how I feel making fun

anyone because of their difference. Sad to hear...

[rurallib]

6. In my long gone youth it was queer

guess nothing's changed. Only back then nobody cared.

[JackintheGreen]

7. "Is now the most frequently used term"???

Was when I was a kid, too, some 25 years ago. Nor do I accept that 'queer' is any different. Any variation - gay, queer, fag(gy), or (as was popular at my school) gaylord - amounts to the same thing: the equation that lameness = homosexuality (a covert nod to limp-wristedness, perhaps?)

[GreenPartyVoter]

20. The "that's so gay" thing was around when I was a kid 25 years ago. Also, calling people

"queerbait" was really big. I didn't even know what it meant at the time. I think most kids who said it didn't :(

[Zookeeper]

8. I've always called out my kids and their friends if I hear "gay"

used as an insult, by pointing out that a wonderful friend of our family is a gay man. I was really pleased when I recently overheard my 17 year old son, chastise his 13 year old brother for using the term ("That's so gay!"). He said, "Just stop it. I don't like it because I have a lot of gay friends at school and it's insulting to them."

:woohoo:

BTW, when I was a kid the insult was "queer," and I'm old enough that I believe most of us thought of it as it's true meaning: odd, weird, but in a negative way.

[ben_meyers]

11. I'm old enough to remember

when gay meant happy or cheerful. But then "flesh" colored Crayons were pink too.

[Zookeeper]

17. And Band-Aids only came in peach.

Even as I kid, I thought there was something sad about a peach-colored bandage on a black child's knee.

:hi:

[msongs]

9. the dominant religion and its practicioners promote such behavior constantly nt

[hulklogan]

10. Now that the militant straights have co-opted the meaning of the word "gay"

to mean lame or annoying, I won't use it anymore to describe myself. I'm not lame or annoying.

Do we need to start a movement to reclaim that word from the militant straights the way we did with Queer?

[Smarmie Doofus]

18. Like that phraseology: "militant straights".

>>>Now that the militant straights have co-opted the meaning of the word "gay"
to mean lame or annoying, I won't use it anymore to describe myself. I'm not lame or annoying.

Do we need to start a movement to reclaim that word from the militant straights the way we did with Queer? >>>

Logical extension: "militant heterosexual agenda". That's good too as it accurately describes the phenomenon.

Re. gay: I favor dropping it entirely in favor of something new. We're battling linguistic trends that are bigger than all of us combined. "Queer" won't last as a positive alternative since its root meaning... "strange, uncommon" .... is inaccurate as H is neither strange nor uncommon.


"Homo" is my word of choice. It's completely value-neutral and accurately describes the state of being in question.

[dipsydoodle]

12. It's completely meaningless to compare

use of the language here in the UK with it's usage in the USA.

[cboy4]

14. It's not completely meaningless when it comes to the word

"gay?"

Why do you think that?

[dipsydoodle]

16. General usage of the word has moved on here.

It's that simple. Use of individual words within languages do that. You might have noticed that "slag" couldn't be out into context over your side. Most of the time the kids use it here these days there is no association at all with its general usage throughout the period 70's to '90s. I guess it just means "odd" or "weird" but not the way "queer" did to preceed "gay"

[cboy4]

19. The point is the word "gay" is the most frequently

used word of abuse in schools there, just as I'm certain it is here.

That's disturbing.

[LostinVA]

22. It's not completely meaningless and it's the most used slur in American schools, too

[Hydra]

13. The kids like to use it

Because it's hard to argue against. If you deny it, you've been put on the defensive. If you ignore it, then it's considered to be an admission of such.

Hell to pay if you actually are.

Gotta love our society. We treat each other so well.

[xchrom]

15. sad and very telling that being gay is still problematic for the culture at large.

however there is no worg that lgbtq people can use to identify themselves that won't be used against us in the wider world.

queer is still offensive in spite of some notion of claiming it -- so is faggot.

gay is our word -- and widely recognized as our word -- and it was an uphill climb to get there -- and a lot to be proud of in that word.

[galledgoblin]

21. drove me nuts back when I was in high school

when I confronted people, I could (sometime) get them to stop tossing around "faggot" every five seconds, but they always insisted that "gay" was harmless, it just meant "stupid"... I would then try to point out that it came to mean that BECAUSE gay refers to homosexuality, but, well, 15 year olds aren't very interested in lingual history.

[canis_lupus]

23. 'Gay' and it's synonyms have always been a schoolyard insult

Back when I was in grade school (shortly after the dinosaurs died off) the absolute worst thing you could call another boy was a sissy. By the time I got around to junior and senior high, the insult du jour was to call someone a homo or a fag.

I've always wondered if the roots of the trans and drag phobias that exist within some of the gay community goes back to the days when sissy was a word of shame and condemnation. Even before we knew what we were sexually, we were conditioned to have disdain for anyone who didn't meet the socially acceptable gender norms.