Very interesting Washington Blade column from a straight man who learned to confront his own ingrained prejudices and stereotypes when his daughter came out:
FOR MANY YEARS, to my rational regret, I was aware of an emotional prejudice that asserted itself in the form of what I call a shifting of the burden of proof of worthiness. That is, I gradually became aware that when meeting whites, I assumed they merited my respect unless and until their behavior might tell me otherwise; blacks, on the other hand, were more likely to have to “earn” such acceptance. Contrary to my better judgment, I found myself wary until I knew a black person well enough to feel genuine respect.
And so it was with my homophobia. Not until learning my daughter was gay and meeting scores of exemplary gays over a long period of time, did I truly expunge the source of my surprise at that first PFLAG meeting. Indeed, as luck would have it, I met so many extraordinarily fine gay men and lesbians during that period that I once joked to my daughter, “If you decide you’re not gay, please don’t tell me!”
In fact, of course, my daughter could no more decide she wasn’t gay than I could decide I was. And therein lies perhaps the major and perhaps most troublesome difference between homophobia and racism: namely, the cultural tendency to view homosexuality as “behavior” rather than of personal identity. No one chooses the color of his or her skin, the argument runs, but anyone can choose how he or she expresses their sexual desires.
http://www.washblade.com/2008/4-18/view/columns/12414.cfm
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