This broke my heart

[dsc]

I was reading the advisor listserve for GLSEN and came across this:

Like i bought some books from barnes and nobles and they just happened to be
gay in nature. So i was going to the mail everyday looking for them. One day
i get home, check the mail, and find that there is no mail. So i go inside
and i hear the dreaded words " We need to talk". At that point i was just
scared beyond reason. I mean i just was in denial at that point as to why
they wanted to talk. It wasn't like i had never had any other part in gay
culture. Just some backround, when i was in 8 grade i was just exploring my
sexuality when i went online and just was browsing. i found myself in
gallery with guys kissing, nothign overtly sexual. I found myself liking it
without any realization of what it meant. Well my parents had a talk to me
and they just told me it was phase. Well, back to the story...... We began
to talk and they told me that i was wrong and an awfull person. That being
gay is a terrible choice and that i was a dirty faggot.. It hurt. I told
them they were....well let me keep this clean.:). So i was kicked out of my
house... thats it


This literally breaks my heart to read. Here it is 2008 and this kid gets thrown to the street. When I get asked why I decided to be advisor for my GSA this is why. He deserved so much better. We all do.

[truedelphi]

1. K & R. A very sad comment on how the more things change...

[peacebird]

2. how can any parent say such things to their child?!? I just don't understand that...

All I want is for my son to be healthy and happy.

How he defines "happy" or "love" is up to him.... I would always love and support him, no matter what.

He is my child, he will always be "my baby" - no matter how old he is.

Unconditional love - that is what we all deserve from our families.

[knitter4democracy]

7. I totally agree.

I had friends in college who were disowned when they came out (one was even sent a bill for every dime she cost her parents, and her dad repossessed her car) or who at least were kicked out temporarily. Disgusting, in my mind. Why the hell should I care what my kids' sexualities are? Not my problem. I just want them happy, healthy, and still able to cuddle me when they aren't happy or healthy.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

3. Fear trumps love

Those parents aren't worthy of their own kid.

Shame on them. SHAME!

[patrice]

4. It's the saddest thing in the World when parents don't Love their child.

Smilies don't do this justice.

I'm trying to NOT be angry at them.

[MadMaddie]

5. DSC this does happen at an alarming rate

I hope that he has family friends that can take the teen in.

The parents are selfish and petty, this is their child that they are supposed to love no matter what. Shame on them...

[dsc]

6. I hope he does as well

he is living what my worst fear was.

[knitter4democracy]

8. How awful.

:(

Makes me want to get the guest bed ready. No one should ever be kicked out for being true to themselves.

[gaspee]

9. Some people

Way overidentify with their children. Their children are not "mini-me's" -- they are individuals -- too bad so many parents have kids for the wrong reasons.

It's like they care what their neighbors think more than they love their own child.

[bigscott]

10. had to respond

I am a gay dad of a 15 year old wonderful young man. he knows i am gay, his mom and i are divorced. He is on the high school volleyball team and my ex and i go to every game. some of the other parents there are incredible! They live their lives through their kids - they get so damn into the winning and all that crap (now don't get me wrong - i love it when my son does well and the team wins, but as far as i am concerned it is supposed to be about having fun, being part of a team and learning some discipline)

My point being - if these parents are so hell-bent on their kids being "all they can be", can you just imagine when one of the kids trys to tell his parents he is gay? It does not fit the Stepford-wife norm of American suburbia and therefore is NOT acceptable.

FWIW, when i came out my parents were very upset because they thought being gay would harm me career-wise and that i would end up with AIDS. Now i am a (very) successful HIV negative man and my Mom has met some gay men and women that have changed her stereotype of homosexuality. My Dad died a while back but even he came to realize that I was happy and healthy and that is all he ever wanted for his kids.

I am sorry the man in the OP has had to go through this. I know it is hard to see now, but this will make him a better person - it has long been the case that many in the GLBT community create their own families in that community. Some of us have been just as happy to disown our parents and relatives as they have been to disown us.

peace to all

[Adamocrat]

11. I hope he goes on to live a great life...

My folks kicked me out at 14 after my two grown, "adult" sisters (ages 24 and 28) read my diary and being the saints that they were, they had to share my 'sin' with my folks. One sister is now dead from a prescription drug overdose, and the other is well on her way to the same fate.

I live a happy life with my partner of 12 years now, and I'm happier than any of them.

Life's funny that way.