I had a business as a humanist celebrant for a few years, designing and officiating at non-religious ceremonies, mostly weddings. Back in 2004, when San Francisco and Multnomah County (Portland, Oregon) were defying state law to hand out same-sex marriage licenses, I made some changes in my basic wedding service for when equal marriage might become a reality. I am still waiting in Washington, but I would like to share my work with the DU community.
Notice: This work is copyrighted © 2004 by Gregory Gadow. Permission is hereby granted for NON-COMMERCIAL use and distribution, PROVIDED that this notice is included. All other rights are reserved to the copyright holder.
I. Gathering
Celebrant: Love is a wondrous thing, a special gift that we give to one another. Today, we come together to witness and celebrate that gift in the marriage of A and B.
Marriage marks the joining of two people in to one common life. It is a promise to be there for each other and to help one another through any adversity. It is a commitment to the future. It is an expression of the hope that there will be a tomorrow worth sharing. It is a celebration of the joy these two people have found together, a celebration that A and B have asked us together to share with them.
II - Acknowledgement of Family (optional)
Celebrant: But marriage is more than all this. It is also the joining of two families. The support of parents and siblings can further strengthen the commitment between two people, and knowing the love of each other’s family as well as their own can only deepen the love they have for one another.
(Celebrant invites the families to stand.)
Celebrant: Who brings A to stand beside B?
A’s family: We do.
Celebrant: Who brings B to stand beside A?
B’s family: We do.
Celebrant: Are you willing now and always to honor and strengthen this marriage by upholding both of these women with your love and support?
Both families: We are.
(The families sit.)
III - Charge to the Couple
Celebrant: Marriage is an important decision and not something that you should do lightly. It is not merely an expression of love, for love, by itself, is fleeting. Marriage is a promise to support one another. It is a commitment to a common life. It is a vow of mutual respect. It is, at long last, a legal recognition that two people can be a family regardless of their genders and who therefore have certain rights and responsibilities before the law.
A successful marriage is not something that just happens; it takes work and it takes effort. A good marriage must be created, and the first act of that creation is the heartfelt and honest exchange of promises to one another. These promises give shape to the common life that is to come and offer guidance for your future together.
IV - Interlude (optional)
A reading, piece of music or other personal touch may be added here.
V - Exchange of Vows and Rings
A: B, I choose you to be my partner in life, in love and friendship. I will nourish, respect and support you with integrity and faithfulness. Together, let us build a common life, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, through good times and bad. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?
B: I will.
A: This ring I give you is my personal gift, a promise of my love and trust. Let it be a symbol of my commitment to you. (Places ring on B’s finger)
B: A, I choose you to be my partner in life, in love and friendship. I will nourish, respect and support you with integrity and faithfulness. Together, let us build a common life, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, through good times and bad. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?
A: I will.
B: This ring I give you is my personal gift, a promise of my love and trust. Let it be a symbol of my commitment to you. (Places ring on A’s finger)
VI - Benediction
Celebrant: Today there is a vast unknown future stretching out before you. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes, but it is a great tribute to your faith in each other that you are willing to face it together.
May the love with which you join heart and hand today never fail, but grow deeper and surer with every year you spend together.
May you dare to dream dreams not yet dreamt.
May you find constant reward and challenge as you pursue the ongoing adventure of learning who you are and where you want to go.
May you always have a special sense of your mission in life together, and may you never tire of the endless possibilities of exploring your shared existence.
VII - Presentation
Celebrant: Ladies and gentlemen, A and B have declared before all of us that they will live together in marriage. They have made promises to one another with joined hands and sealed those promises with the exchange of rings. Please welcome them as partners in life.
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