How a doctor's wife gets cancer.

[knitter4democracy]

I'm 32. I have cancer. I just found out today.

Because Hubby's a doctor, he read my CT report this morning before heading off to work. When he saw that it said "mass consistent with renal cell carcinoma," he convinced his office to let him have the day off, and then he got to work on me. Before nine o'clock, he had me in with the best urologist in the area as a squeeze-in appointment and an appointment to have the films to take to the urology appointment. He'd spoken personally with the radiologist to confirm the diagnosis, spoken with my doctor (one of the group of partners who employ him), had her speak with me, and looked up the latest treatments.

Tonight, after a good appointment with the urologist, who said he'd fit me in on his surgery schedule tomorrow (there'd been a cancellation) but settled for a week from tomorrow, since we have so much to plan before that, I called an oncologist friend of ours. She called me back, even though I'm not a patient, she's not on call, and she can't bill my insurance for any of this. She explained everything, confirmed the treatment plan the urologist said, and told me to stop by her office tomorrow for a pack on my kind of cancer and the possible treatments, in case it's spread.

The other stuff, the friends and family stepping forward to help with our young kids, the school being really understanding and helpful, and my husband crying with me, all that anyone else has. The amazing care, though, should be available for everyone. Everyone should be able to get in with a great doctor quickly. Everyone should be able to call a doctor, even at night, to ask a million questions and have them answered patiently one by one. Everyone should get this kind of care.

If I live through this, and the odds are good I will (God willing), I will turn this into my mission. No one should get crappy care. If a doctor's crap, he should be put on probation. If he's terrible, he should lose his license. Everyone should have insurance. Everyone should be able to get in quickly. No one should be endangered because they aren't married to a doctor.

[blue cat]

1. I'm so sorry

Take care.

[mike_c]

2. god speed and good luck....

Worry about missions later. You've got your hands full now. Best wishes for a full recovery. :hug:

[knitter4democracy]

6. Yup. Now I prepare the house for surgery.

I just had surgery last March, but this time my MIL is coming up, and my dad and stepmom might actually make an appearance. Eek! All those judgemental types at once! *shudder* Anyway, now is the planning time for the healing time. After I'm all healed up and cured, God willing, I'm taking this one on.

[peace13]

3. I will think good thoughts for you.

Keep the faith. Peace, Kim

[rosesaylavee]

4. I wish you all the best

and thanks for sharing your ordeal with us. You're very right. Everyone should have healthcare for moral reasons and for economic reasons. Not having universal healthcare costs this country a lot of money.

:hug:

[knitter4democracy]

Lots of money and lots of lives.

Souls who could've made this a better place. People we need to help this country grow strong.

Other companies from other countries don't have to put their health care costs in the price of their products. That alone means the US Chamber and all the big corporations, who are pro-national health care in other countries, should be screaming for a good, comprehensive national health care program.

[rosesaylavee]

37. Read earlier this year

and don't have a link (sorry) that healthcare costs in some Eupopean countries are paid for in part by taxes on gasoline... that that's why they pay so much for gas and don't complain too loudly.

The US needs to to do something soon - too many people are having their savings and their lives devastated by the costs they are paying for their illness.

[knitter4democracy]

51. I like this idea.

We are all one in this nation. Whatever hurts the least of these hurts us all. We cannot keep letting our sisters and brothers die penniless without care or die in pain just because we don't feel like making any sacrifices.

Time to knit--I'm getting cranky again.

[rosesaylavee]

57. That's funny...

I wish I could knit. I just get cranky. :)

[Maraya1969]

5. You are strong and you now have several missions. You'll get through.

:hug: I am so impressed that you are thinking of turning your situation into a force to help others.

You are going to be just fine.

[unblock]

7. my father had this many years ago

he's light one kidney now, but doing fine.

there's no "good" cancer, but if you have to have it, cancer of an organ you can survive without is better than the other forms.

best of luck, and keep your wonderful perspective!

:hug:

[knitter4democracy]

9. I need to hear this, thanks.

That's what the oncologist friend said. She also said that I shouldn't worry about the size (it's big). She said that it's all dependent on it being contained, and if it's not, there are new drugs available that are better than chemo that work on this cancer.

We'll see after the path report's back, though. I'm still scared.

[AnneD]

40. Dear Knitter....

First off, Prayers of strength and healing to you and that dear hubby of yours. He sounds like he is worried sick too.

I often heard admonishment about having medical folks as patients, but frankly, I enjoyed taking care of 'one of our own' and it seems like you are getting the vip treatment. Wish I could be there to give you some vip care :grouphug:

I started out in oncology at MD Anderson. Now there is no good cancer to get....but renal is a better one (survivable shall we say). I think you will receive the best advice and best surgery and treatment.

Sorry about the full house. Funny how that can be more upsetting than surgery. I know that this is probably one of the scarier things you can go through, but many have had this type of cancer and many have survived the challenge. I hope you and hubby emerge all the more stronger. Be sure to include a bit of therapy (or therapeutic activities)for the both of you. PM me when/if you need to.

[knitter4democracy]

45. Thank you.

I'm feeling better today after seeing our oncologist friend. She's really upbeat about this and says that the worst is the surgery and recovery. I think I can handle that. The pain doesn't scare me after ten years of chronic appendicitis (and that last year was a doozy), but not being able to lift or bend easily does. I'm a mom, and I'm hosting Thanksgiving. Eek.

We will beat this. There's no way I'm going to give up to some punk-ass bunch of crazy cells. No way.

[AnneD]

62. That's the spirit....

:thumbsup: Jezzz, what some people won't do to get out of hosting the Thanksgiving dinner:eyes: I think I would check out my local supermarket and order the basic dinner and have the remainder as pot luck (they are good and worthwhile in your situation). It would be terrible to survive the surgery only to be killed by over doing the dinner. Hang in there kid...I'm rooting for ya. If you need more reassurance, we have some good folks down here at MD Anderson.

[knitter4democracy]

63. Oh, I'm not giving it up.

I'm bound and determined to make it work somehow. Of course, it might end up at my mom's, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to do the drive down to my in-law's apartment. *sigh* I don't know, but I know I don't want to let that go. I'll have a month to be up on me feet, right? ;)

[AnneD]

64. Keep me posted...

You could probably do it. Try to do some things now pre surgery (floral arrangements, table settings, cleaning, repairs, getting furniture,dishes,and silver cleaned etc). Then think about the short cuts that you may need to do post surgery (Go for the partially catered event or have the family bring their speciality). If family recipies are involved, consider starting a family cook book. Don't be afraid to ask for a little help. You will feel tired, sore and no lifting plus other things. Make that pre surgery/post surgery list now. Remember, you want to enjoy the party too.

[knitter4democracy]

65. I'll be spreading out the cooking, too.

We're working out the plans (Hubby does a lot of the cooking, actually), and we're working out what-all can be done early and set aside or frozen or whatever. It's looking like I'll be able to pace things out or have others take care of them. The only stuff I have to do are the peach squares and pumpkin pecan pie, the Chex Mix (for some reason, no one else can get that right--don't ask me why), and the seasoning on the squash. Hubby can do the shopping, the bird, and most everything else, including the lifting and all.

My mom's going to come over and help clean right before the in-laws come up, I still have most everything from last year, and Hubby will take care of tables and chairs. I just need to get a few things beforehand, but I'll add those to the Hubbylist.

I'm trying to make it less stress than last year. We're all going to need it.

[AnneD]

66. Sounds like you got it going on....

Hubby sounds like a doll....but then I told you that before;). My best to the both of you, Say what time is dinner, I bring the wine!

[shrike]

39. I know another renal cancer survivor

Twenty years strong. Had to go undergo two transplants (first one failed), but he competes in the transplant olympics (for former transplant patients), gone as far away as Sydney, Australia to compete. He has a thriving business, employees who love him, a longtime girlfriend, loving parents, many friends and a great life. He says "every day is Christmas" to him. One of the best guys I know.

[knitter4democracy]

52. It sure will be amazing when it's all done.

It's really making me question a lot of stuff right now. I'd started wondering if I really had any purpose, but now I know why I wasn't supposed to be in grad school right now or starting up a yarn shop or finding some other job. I have to beat this first, and then I will have a new life to live. I hope it involves yarn, though. ;)

[razors edge]

8. As an escapee from poor rural WV

I am glad to hear things are most likely under control for you.

I have lost many relatives from preventable disease and I know I will loose the majority of my remaining from the same. Just something you get used to I guess.

[knitter4democracy]

10. Where in West Virginia?

I went to a college with a lot of students from there. I miss their accents and the shine in their eyes that they'd get when they'd speak of home and the mountains.

No one should die from preventable stuff. No one. Our nation is full of too damn many rich people for that to happen. We all need to fight.

[razors edge]

14. Huntington,

also southern Ohio and Kentucky relatives. We had the best care available as far as we knew. And to tell someone still living there that Cuba ranks among the highest if not the highest in care is like telling them they are are French. They know only what they have been told and that ain't much.

Never had time for collage but I do miss the "shine in the mountains" if you know what I mean.

[knitter4democracy]

16. Went to college in Ohio.

I do know what you mean. I've heard Huntington's nice. The parts of your home state that I've seen on trips were breathtakingly lovely. The poverty took my breath away, too. It didn't look much different than the barrios in Central America I worked in on a couple of trips in college. Scary that we have that in such a rich and powerful nation.

[razors edge]

19. Some see it as our real strength,

my friends and I can to most extent live completely without the trappings of modern life. I don't need a visa card to make dinner from livestock nor does the loss of a TV signal send us over the edge.

If the petrodollar crashes and there is no SS check, well of the friends I know still there, most never paid in, never wanted any, and never believed the government would actually pay it back if they had paid in. And Bush seems intent on proving them right on that one.

[knitter4democracy]

22. Sounds like a lot of people I grew up around.

I grew up in rural Michigan. My family hunts, proudly, and I learned how to freeze and can as a child. Lord willing, we'd be okay.

[razors edge]

27. we will all meet in the middle

after that great gettin up day.

take care and get some real food, no Wendy's junk.

[ThomCat]

11. I hope everything goes well.

Be well. Recover. And please be one hell of an activist!

[volstork]

12. Knitter

You are in my thoughts as you begin this challenge. I myself am a gynecologist, and I had breast cancer 3 years ago at the age of 36. I know what a scary thing this is to face. I, too, believe that we ALL should have healthcare, that we ALL deserve the best chance, and that bad docs should be kicked out.
Best to you.

[knitter4democracy]

15. Don't ever stop practicing.

We need good gyns everywhere. Which reminds me, ya need a job? ;) They're always hiring here, since some of our Ob/Gyns are getting ready to retire, and we don't have enough to meet demand. Michigan's a good place to practice. :D

That said, it is really scary. I may have better odds, but that doesn't change the fear much. Hubby's worse off that way and has cried much of today, the first time I've seen that in almost a year. Man, when you know the numbers . . .

[Anywho6]

13. Thank you for your post!

What a moving post, Knitter! What a great attitude, outlook and mission you have! God bless you and keep you on your journey. EVERYONE should read this. I was very moved and shared it with my partner just now. Thank you for taking the time to write this with such grace and thought.

Take good care, Knitter, and peace to you and your family.

Chris

[knitter4democracy]

17. I'm just so scared and mad right now.

Odd combo, come to think of it.

Why can't everyone have this, though? It's not impossible. I just hope and pray it all works out for the best. Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers--I need them tonight.

[tavalon]

33. It may seem odd but anger is a frequent partner with fear

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Bless you and your partner. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[pacalo]

18. I wish you well, knitter.

Thank you for thinking about the less fortunate at a time when you have the world on your shoulders. It speaks volumes of your character.

Please keep us updated. :)

[Stinky The Clown]

20. Stay strong and feel the love .....

.... its all coming your way.

[bobbieinok]

21. all best wishes and prayers...your family needs you, we need you,

the country needs you.

Your insights and comments have been consistently interesting and helpful.

Special best wishes to your husband.

[knitter4democracy]

23. You are all making me cry.

Here I am, scared to go to bed (not all that sleepy, either), and you are all making me cry.

Bless you for your kind thoughts and posts. I'm really needing those tonight. Maybe I'll be able to find the peace to get some sleep in the knowledge that God's angels have the night off--His/Her/Its people are doing all the hard work. Bless you all.

[varkam]

24. Please, take good care of yourself.

My mother has cancer, so I can empathize with you a bit. Just remember to take things one step at a time, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. :pals:

[knitter4democracy]

49. Does she need some knitted lovin'?

I'm working on some hospital socks for myself tonight. I think everyone should have some handmade knitted lovin' when in the hospital. I know my shawl really helped last time.

[varkam]

53. If your post could manifest itself physically

I think that it would be a cute little puppy that jumps up and down when you come home. That's really sweet of you. Thankfully she is fine now, but I had quite a scare for a while.

:pals:

[knitter4democracy]

58. It's freakin' scary.

This is the third time I've had to deal with cancer in my immediate family, and I've lost count with extended family and friends. My dad had cancer when I was in college, a few years back my MIL had stage three breast cancer, and now it's my turn. It seriously sucks.

If your mom needs anything, let me know.

[tblue]

25. Despite it all, you have so much going for you —

a loving hubby, friends & family. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the best. I once knew an oncologist who told me she loved her patients because they were the stongest, most positive people she ever knew. But we are here if you need anything at all. Please keep us posted.

[tandot]

26. All the best to you, knitter4democracy

Reading your last paragraph, you write that the odds are good. My thoughts are with you!

I had an endometrial biopsy done and am waiting for the results. I have to call on Monday. I have good health insurance and wonder how people do without. Should my results be positive, I know that I'll get good care and they'll probably caught it in time. People without health insurance wait until it is too late. We really need health care for every person.

:grouphug:

[cosmicdot]

28. "the amazing care...should be available for everyone"

amen to that; and, Godspeed to you


I have a 3 year old relative who has been in the hospital for about 200 days ... he's being treated for Rhabodomyosarcoma ... following his daily progress at caringbridge.org (a nice resource), I often think of how fortunate he is to have employed/insured parents, other family financial support, as well as, a village of extended family and friends who lend support 24/7 both at the hospital and on the home front. I can't help to wonder 'what if' he didn't and about those who don't.


(((sending you epic waves of strength and positive wishes)))

[nicknameless]

29. I'm very sorry to hear this, knitter.

Peace and healing to you.

:hug:

[Straight Shooter]

30. Your words are calm, I don't know how you managed to write at all.

My thoughts are with you.

Blessings to you and your husband. He is clearly your best friend.

:hug:

[gulfcoastliberal]

31. Good luck. My dad's a doctor. Unfortunately, the vast majority of citizen

have no access to doctors or healthcare. And if they do, the doctors herd them through like cattle, missingimportant symptoms. People like us are the fortunate few.

Hope it goes well for you.

[tavalon]

34. I totally agree with the herd comment

I have a bulging disk or two and I did it at work, so L & I is covering my care. The doctor who did the EMG and nerve conduction study expected me to just say yes when he mentioned "a block". I'm a nurse and I care about me, so rather than saying "OK" as most of his patients probably do, I asked questions. Lots of questions because it isn't my specific area of specialization. I didn't like this guys herd mentality, but he answered the questions tolerantly and well. I don't like his bedside manner but I feel confident that he is a competent MD.

I have seen so many doctors over this and I'm being transferred on Monday to another (he's the spine specialist at the original group I went to and he's actually the one who was recommended by the ER doctor). I know it kind of sounds like I'm getting bad care, but I'm not. I really don't know how non-medical people manage to get good care. I'm glad I'm on L & I, (workman's or worker's comp).

[knitter4democracy]

46. My hubby complains about the herd issue, too.

It's like he's supposed to just shove people through his office at the highest billing rate for the least amount of time and still give stellar care. It just doesn't happen that way.

I don't put up with bad doc attitudes anymore. Heck, I even warn the new ones that I'm a gritchy doctor's wife and that I'll be asking a million questions and keeping track. ;) They appreciate the warning, usually.

[tavalon]

61. I'm a nurse who asks a lot of questions

I've slipped a disk and I'm a L/D nurse. Backs are not my field so I ask a lot of questions. I generally don't put up with that attitude, either but he was just the guy doing my EMG and nerve conduction studies and he gave me a really good drug that works with the pain and doesn't dope me up. I'm willing in this situation. In your situation though, tolerate none of that. Nobody needs bad energy while fighting cancer.

Most people dread having nurses as patients. We are notoriously bad patients, too controlling (like a bit o' controlling is bad?) and we try to self manage and etc. I try not to fit that stereotype but it's hard. I am the caregiver and it's hard to take the care instead of giving it.

[DemExpat]

32. It sounds like you are in great hands here..............

all the best in dealing with this, knitter4democracy, and then on to the fight for getting this response for everybody facing life-threatening illnesses.

:hug:

DemEx

[Cooley Hurd]

35. Jesus, k4d!

Fortunately, the big "casino" (as Uncle Junior from "The Sopranos" called it) is no longer a death sentence. You're fortunate it was caught in time, and that your husband is an MD (meaning he can get you the best care among his colleagues).

I'm sure you'll lick this!:hug:

[pecwae]

36. I'm so sorry!

I'm glad you have good care. Your mission is a compassionate one and you'll see it through. I'm on my third cancer dx and although wishful thinking won't will it away, attitude is a big part. Sounds as if you have that positive outlook.

[knitter4democracy]

50. I hope it works. It's all I've got, really.

At least I don't have to go through chemo and radiation (they don't work). And here I was getting all my good chemo cap yarns at the ready. If you need a chemo cap, let me know. I have many soft yarns in all sorts of colors, and I'll need to knit to keep myself sane through this whole ordeal.

Yarn has healing properties, I think. We all need more yarn.

[pecwae]

56. What a sweet, generous offer!

Thank you for that. I'm not doing chemo right now; finally got some hair since Jan. Knit yourself right thru this, sweetie. We'll all be here for you.

[knitter4democracy]

59. Started hospital socks tonight.

They use a cool technique, so I feel good about that, and I finally figured out my iPod, so that's cool, too. I guess I have to take the little things to be happy about right now.

My daughter, age six, collapsed in my arms tonight and told me how scared she is. It broke my heart. She's had to live with my year o' pain, the surgery last spring, and now this. It's not right.

[indepat]

38. Godspeed

You are so right about health care, but the 'pukes on the right will never allow this because, while as a nation, we can afford trillions of dollars to provide Iraqis their freedom and liberty from a tyrant, the 'pukes would have us believe we can't afford health care for the home folks.

[knitter4democracy]

47. We're going to beat them, though.

I know so many Republican, and they all agree that we need better health care. If we had a simpler sounding solution (they need it simple), we'd have them on our side on this. Hubby works with many Republican docs (and many quietly liberal ones as well), and he's found that, the worse it gets, the more they listen and agree.

The war is starting to hurt around here, too. Maybe that's why.

[babylonsister]

41. My former s-i-l also had

renal cancer, and worked in a hospital. After having surgery and being treated, she's now fine.
You'll be in my thoughts, knitter4democracy. I'm very glad you have such a strong support system, from the docs to your family.
Take special care and keep us posted!

[knitter4democracy]

48. How did she handle the surgery?

It's kind of scaring me right now--such a big one with so much getting cut out with so many restrictions afterwards. I won't be able to lift much and my kids not at all. I can't take very many pain killers, either, but I know I can handle pain, so that's not too bad. Still, the surgery's sounding scary today.

[babylonsister]

54. She did and you will. She was obviously

sore and initially had trouble getting comfortable, but trust me,
whatever seems horrendous at the moment dims with time.
FWIW, I had a mastectomy in 83 and various other surgeries connected with that
over the years. At the time it was overwhelming but now I hardly think about it.
When you get the good news that you're no longer at risk, all pales in
comparison.
I know you're anxious, and scared, but please try to take comfort that
you're on the road to fixing what ails you, and you have a great family and
extended family who will provide you with lots of support.
Hang in there!:hug:

[knitter4democracy]

60. Thank you for that. You're right.

I look back on my surgery last spring, and the worst I remember is puking on the cranky nurse (funny story there) and the ride home in the car. I'm sure it was worse at the time. This time will be like that, too.

I just need to finish my hospital socks first, though.

[glitch]

42. Thank you for thinking about the rest of us in your time of need.

:hug: for your true generosity of spirit. On to your complete recovery!

[DeepModem Mom]

43. Thinking of you today, knitter. nt

[midnight]

44. I agree with you. Hope your recovery and treatment find

you in better health soon.

[Mnemosyne]

55. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but am grateful to hear

you are receiving such good care.

Great luck with your surgery next week.

:hug: