WHEN is it going to get easier?

[Th1onein]

Day eleven or twelve....going nuts.

[NOW tense]

1. You are going to hate this response.....

Life is easy when you decide that it is. I am about to lose my job. I have decided to not think of it as an ending. I have decide to look at it as "I don't mind what happens next." Does that mean I have suspended reality? NO! It just means that I know something else will come. In the mean time, I am going to enjoy the little things. When the time comes, I will enjoy the big things.

[Th1onein]

2. Doesn't make much sense....wouldn't bother wasting anger on your response.

eom

[knowbody0]

5. I understand your post

and agree with you. you cannot change reality, and we are all in this together.

[Dragonfli]

3. I've been through many bad times, maybe I could answer with something

I would need to know more to even try though, day eleven or twelve of what?

[enlightenment]

4. When you stop obsessing about it.

I'm serious. You are far enough along that you are NOT having a physical response - you're having a psychological one. This is the point where you can psyche yourself into failure, if you obsess.

Sit yourself down and ask yourself if this is what you really want to do. ONLY YOU have the answer to that question. If the answer is yes, then do it. Smack yourself upside the head and get on with it. You are a fully functioning human being and you make the decisions.

I hate sounding like a Nike commercial, but honestly Th1, you are on the cusp and you are the only one who can get you through it - you really do the ability, if you choose to do it.

Don't rationalize with all the reasons you can't. Find all the reasons you can.

[beam me up scottie]

9. Very true.

We all make our own toolkits.

This one was particularly reliable: imagining my smug, self-righteous, non-smoking brother saying "See? I knew she couldn't do it."

[Dorian Gray]

21. Funny!

Mine is not breaking down before my husband does! He slipped twice since we quit (four years in April), and I tease him mercilessly still for that. Being competitive has helped me keep from smoking!

[beam me up scottie]

23. Great idea, since you would have to quit at the same time, why not compete?

Being able to continue taking birth control pills after age 35 was also a good incentive.:D

A really good one.

Yes, indeed.

Uh huh.

Yep.

[Th1onein]

12. So easy to say....but I've been thinking about this....

Smoking is the only thing that was "mine." It was the only thing that I enjoyed, that no one could make me stop doing. I lost my son and he was the ONLY thing I ever really cared about. Not me, not others, just him. So....I took up work and I work constantly. But the one thing that I do for ME is smoke cigarettes. That's it.

I don't know how to replace that.

[NOW tense]

13. I responded badly.

I didn't know you were talking about smoking. I thought you were talking about everyday life. I know exactly what you are talking about now. I have tried to quit so many times. It is hard.

[Th1onein]

16. YOU didn't respond badly.

I was not very clear in my original post. Don't ask me why I posted like that; I was just having a really rough time.

[enlightenment]

14. I can certainly appreciate the sense of having something

that is 'yours' - but think about what you're really saying, okay? It's not ownership, it's control - it's something YOU control. I truly sympathise with your loss; I have only one child and I'm not sure how I would cope, but please do think about what you're saying. Losing your son was something you couldn't control - how much you work is under your control, smoking is something you control.

I won't say you should quit because it's better for you, or anything else. But what I think I hear you struggling with is your desire to maintain control over your life . . . and the realisation that the cigs are controlling you now, not the other way around.

It has to be your choice, but the fact that you're turning to DU and trying to stay away from the cigs suggests that you really do want to quit.

You found ways to help you cope with your loss, and you WILL find a replacement for the cigarettes that will be something you do just for YOU. Don't try to figure out what that is right now (that's what I meant about obsessing about it - trying to figure out the rest of your life right NOW). What you're fighting for is control of your life, isn't it? Win that battle and I suspect you'll find that you will know how to replace the habit.

Right now the cigarettes are trying to do your thinking for you. Please don't let them.

[Th1onein]

17. NOTHING to do with control.

It really is just as simple as I put it: cigarettes were the one thing that I could still enjoy. Period.

I could work and smoke. I could drive and smoke. I could smoke (and enjoy) no matter what I was doing. Now, the one thing that I did enjoy is gone.

I have got to replace it with something. I don't know what.

I've made it through yet another day......I am on my twelfth? Thirteenth? I've lot count. I find I have this taste for beef jerky. I like the smoky smell and taste of it.

You know, this idea that "psychological" is easier than physical is all bullshit. It is often used as a way to discount others' problems.

[enlightenment]

19. Okay - you're on your own.

As I mentioned back when you first came on asking for help, I smoked. I smoked heavily for 25 years and I quit 11 years ago. I am not discounting your problem and I was sincerely trying to be helpful, because you have been asking for help.

Now you've got your back up and you're lashing out at everyone; I'm not going to serve as a convenient punching bag because you're suffering.

Best of luck.

[Th1onein]

20. No one is using you as a punching bag.

I'm trying to explain to you that my experience may not be the same as yours. As for someone with their "back up," don't you think that simply because I disagree with you, saying that I'm "lashing out at everyone," is a bit harsh?

I am trying to explain to you that it is not a matter of control for me. I understand that it was for you, and that it is a natural thing to imbue your own feelings on others, but in this case, you are incorrect.

As far as pointing out that it's "just psychological" at this point is absolutely, inequivocally, discounting the problems I am having with quitting. You know as well as I do that those psychological habits are harder, sometimes, to break than the physical ones. Why in the world you would put down my struggle as my "obsessing" I don't know.

[Crunchy Frog]

15. Are there any more loving, caring things you could do for YOU?

Is there anything special that you really like, or really want to do? Like going to a spa, or getting a massage, or going to a really nice restaraunt? Or even something bigger, like traveling someplace exotic? Maybe you could put the money you would have spent on cigs into a special account just for special stuff for you?

I've never been in this particular situation, and I apoligize if I'm being presumptuous. It just seems like there must be SOMETHING out there special that you could do for yourself that didn't have to hurt you.

Best wishes. :hug:

[Th1onein]

18. I need something I can do while I'm doing normal things.

I ate a BIG package of beef jerky yesterday. A big package of sunflower seeds. A big box of Raisinets. And I forgot what else.

This has got to get easier, though. Or I will not be successful.

[CountAllVotes]

what are you trying to stop doing?

I wish I/we knew so we could perhaps help.

:dem:

[cosmik debris]

6. 4 or 5 months was my experience.

I was addicted to Marlboro Reds for 30 yrs. But you can't un-do a thirty year habit overnight.

Just do a lot of deep breathing and remember why you decided to quit.

[Old Codger]

7. I Understand

Went through the quitting thing a while back, smoked 3-4 packs a day < ya I was a HEAVY smoker, started when I was 13 quit when I was 51 that's 38 years of smoking. You have to understand that you are really dealing with two "habits" the nicotine is one but the other and sometimes more insidious one is the "process habit" and that one is pretty bad, I found myself reaching for my pack sometimes as far as 2 years after I quit.. It DOES get better for sure and it IS WORTH IT, so stick it out..:thumbsup:

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

8. Day 7 for me.

It's been 17 years now. I still miss that first cigarette in the morning though.

David

[Clovis Sangrail]

10. it's all mind games at this point

you're past the physical stuff.

Find yourself a replacement ... something to occupy your hands and your mouth.
When I quit I did sunflower seeds for a while ... then peanuts ... then pistachios
Don't just shell them and eat them - shell them with your mouth.

I still occasionally roll cigarettes for friends (I rolled my own for years) but I've got zero desire to actually smoke.
It smells absolutely fucking foul to me now... I can't stand sunflower seeds anymore either.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

11. I will give you a couple of tips, since you are so fond of me.

Stay really busy, boredom is the death nail for someone trying to quit. Start exercising if you don't already. Avoid the places and things that make you want to smoke if at all possible. Good luck and best wishes.

David

[Dorian Gray]

22. Very true

I avoided coffee and alcohol for awhile after I quit, and even to this day, if I drink alcohol, I still crave a cigarette. It took me about 8 months before I stopped thinking of smoking wistfully all the time. Now i barely think of it at all.

[HamdenRice]

24. When I quit, here's something that helped A LOT !

Walking.

It's very simple, cost free and enjoyable. The reason is that one of the thing that helps you "stay quit" is some form of motivation. Right now, it sounds like you don't have that motivation, but on the other side of the equation, you can imagine the enjoyment of smoking.

Well, one thing about quitting that most quitters don't take advantage of is how rapidly your body begins to repair itself. Within 24 hours, as the amount of CO2 and CO in your body goes down, you will feel more energetic. Within a few days, your lungs will start expelling tar and repairing themselves.

But if you are sedentary, these good feelings will go unnoticed. While no one expects a smoker to do a marathon, walking is a good mild exercise, and you will notice immediately how much your body's response is improving.

I don't mean power walking or putting on jogging clothes or anything like that. I just mean, take a stroll. Walk around the block. If you work in an office, walk up a flight of stairs. You will find that what winded you yesterday didn't wind you today. By giving yourself small physical challenges, you will be able to chart almost immediately how much better you are feeling. And best of all, that everyday increase will continue day after day, week after week, for years.

It becomes addictive -- as addictive as the cigarettes. And unlike addictive substances, where you always need to get more stimulus for less effect, your body's improvement provides ever greater effect for less stimulus. That can become your motivation.