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(just a step below a doctor)
She is one of the most caring women I know.
So, I married someone in the nursing field.
Let me tell you, being married to a nurse and being the child of a nurse are two different things (my mother didn't make it to a PA until I was much older).
Unfortunately, I can be a whining crybaby to everyone BUT my wife, who is really the only person I want to be a whining crybaby to.
As an article I read listed....
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This is for anyone who has ever been a nurse or loved one...
It was Written by a husband of a nurse.......
Ah, such mysterious, wondrous creatures are nurses.
Reality check! I've been married to a nurse for a quarter of a century, and
let me tell you, nurses are not what you expect (and I don't even care what
you expect, because you are wrong!). Let's begin by tearing down some of the
more famous assumptions about nurses right off the top:
The Nurse as an Angel:
If you want to hear the latest gross jokes, just find a nurse. Some
uninformed males seem to think of nurses as angelic creatures: demure and
loving, a cross between a nun and their mom. Well, hate to bust your bubble,
guy, but as a group, nurses are some of the rawest folks you'll ever run
into. I don't care how sweet and demure they may look on the outside inside
is someone who has seen things that would gag a maggot, break your heart, or
drive a normal person nuts. So most nurses develop a very wicked sense of
humor squarely lodged in the black-to-sick side of the scale. Also, in case
you are looking for angelic sympathy for the little boo-boo you had in the
shop, forget it! Let's say as a typical male klutz, you manage to saw your
finger off. You go running to your nurse wife who is on the phone with a
nurse friend of hers. As she continues to talk to her friend, she gives the
stub a good eyeballing, slaps a towel on it, takes out a baggie to put the
severed digit in, and tells you to get some ice while she is explaining to
her friend that her dummy husband just sawed his finger off. As you stand
there bleeding profusely for 15 minutes she calmly finishes her conversation
as though nothing is going on until finally she says, 'well I guess I better
get him to the hospital'. She hangs up the phone, looks at you, sighs and
calmly says, 'let's go'. You have just learned an important lesson. On the
nurse scale of emergencies, yours is about a minus 9! As my wife has told
me, 'when you are on a ventilator, with six drips running, your head down
and your feet up, then you're sick. Anything less than that isn't worth
getting excited over!'
The Nurses Mutual Benefit Network:
As a male either dating or married to a nurse, you should realize one
important thing. There are nurses everywhere. That, in itself, is no big
deal. The fact is, every nurse knows other nurses who know more nurses, so
that by the time you are finished, a nurse on the Island Nation of Chuuk who
observes you doing something you shouldn't has the immediate capability of
getting word to your wife. This system is way more reliable and efficient
than the Internet and has existed for a much longer time. Take it for
granted that your nurse wife will know about anything you have done, good or
bad, before you get home!
Your Social Life with Nurses:
Nurses hang out with other nurses and soon you may find that all your
friends are married to nurses. The reason this happens is because in
situations where nurses mingle with non medical folks things can get ugly.
For example, you are out to dinner with your nurse wife, another nurse
couple, and two civilian couples. The nurses sit and chat, discussing fun
things like bleeding bowels, open sores, how much fat was sucked out of some
patient, projectile vomiting, traumatic amputations, etc., all over a nice
pasta dinner. The nurses carry on talking as the civilian couples turn funny
colors, make faces and suppress their gag reflexes (and this is if the
nurses don't have any really gross things to share like the homeless guy
with maggots in his bleeding sores!) After several dinners and gatherings
like this, you will soon find your circle of friends has shrunk
significantly. The key to avoiding this is to do the following: Never go
out in mixed groups with more than one nurse. A lone nurse is ok. The
trouble starts when you have more than one, and when that happens, keep the
regular folks away. Also get used to the idea that some friends and
neighbors will take advantage of the fact that your wife is a nurse by
calling at all hours of the day and night for advice. This may include male
friends 'dropping by' to show your sweetie his rash. The best advice I can
give is to just deal with it and hope it isn't contagious.
The Health Ramifications of being with a Nurse:
Most nurses have been described as having the constitution of horses which
isn't true because I've been around horses and they get sick more often. The
reason for this is pretty simple. After about 3-5 years on the job, nurses
have been exposed to so many bugs that they either end up dead or full of
every antibody known to mankind. (If you want the ultimate booster shot,
just get a blood transfusion from a nurse who's worked in a hospital for 20
years!) You don't have all these antibodies, though, so when she does come
home with mild sniffles, a week later you're flat on your back with the
worse case of the flu of your life!! Oh, and if you are the least bit
squeamish, don't even think about the bugs she brings home on her clothes.
It will mess with your mind as she talks about her resistant TB patient, the
patient full of body lice, or the one with poison ivy in his mouth! so don't
ask.
Conclusion: Ah such mysterious, wondrous creatures are nurses!!!!!!!
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